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  1. #1

    Default how do you bring out your E?

    hello! I'm an ISFJ male and have been dating an ENFP for almost 6 months now. we get along really well and have a ton of things in common, except that I'm really introverted and she's really extroverted. that extroverted side sometimes gets to me though, and I know our relationship would be much better if I could just open up and stop being as introverted as I am.

    can anyone help with this? how can I become more of an extrovert?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Warm's Avatar
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    I don't have a solution to your problem, but I HAD to drop by because you stole my name!!!! Just kidding.

    You said that the relationship would be better if you were more extroverted. Well, are you having any problems right now? I mean if we know what the specifics are, we might be able to help. Sometimes it's the differences that make a relationship work. *shrugs*

  3. #3
    rawr Costrin's Avatar
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    You may be at a loss. There's no way to become more extroverted. You're gonna always and eternally be an introvert. Furthermore, it could theoretically work the other way around, right? Where the ENFP becomes more introverted?

    If there's any way to do it, it's just by practicing. A lot. And getting older. As you get older people tend to balance out. But don't push yourself. If you become stressed, then you should probably stop.
    "All humour has a foundation of truth."
    - Costrin

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    What you do is when she goes silly, especially when its just the two of you...go with it. Enjoy her performance, and join in, ever so gently, and a little bit at a time. Don't worry, she'll gladly guide you through it
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    What if she could be more introverted? The ISFJs I know constantly blame themselves for just about anything that happens.

    So, let's get back to the basics... why do you think that you are too introverted? How does it affect your life?

    Anyways, I have managed to extrovert myself just a little bit.

    Loving yourself for what you are is the key. Some people are introverted because they think that they are not important or interesting. So, if you can smile to the mirror each day and say "Wow, what a great guy I am!" then you are one step closer becoming more extroverted.

    The price of being extrovert is selling your privacy. That means sharing and participating. Tell others more often how you feel and what you are thinking of. Even when not asked to. Extroverts don't ask for permissions, they expect everyone else (read: introverts) to follow them. Of course, this requires self-confidence, which comes from loving yourself for what you are.

    Now, before you attempt to become more extroverted, ask yourself if it's the right path anyways... maybe she likes you because you are introverted. It makes you different from her, in an interesting way.
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  6. #6
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    If your girlfriend happy with you and your introvertedness?

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Warm View Post
    I don't have a solution to your problem, but I HAD to drop by because you stole my name!!!! Just kidding.

    You said that the relationship would be better if you were more extroverted. Well, are you having any problems right now? I mean if we know what the specifics are, we might be able to help. Sometimes it's the differences that make a relationship work. *shrugs*
    we actually are having problems because I've been really anxious/insecure/depressed lately and she's getting fed up with trying to make me feel better all the time. I was more extroverted when we started dating and we got along easier at that time.

    I guess just learning to love myself is the best I can do!

    If your girlfriend happy with you and your introvertedness?
    yeah she's totally fine with it, but I guess it's gotten to a point where she thinks something's wrong or that there's something I'm not telling her.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Warm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    we actually are having problems because I've been really anxious/insecure/depressed lately and she's getting fed up with trying to make me feel better all the time.
    It sounds like being introverted is not your problem.

    ...what Habba said +1

  9. #9
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    ok I have no real constructive thing to say but I didn't see the 8 on warm8 so i thought warm was having a conversation with herself. I'm like
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Warm View Post
    It sounds like being introverted is not your problem.

    ...what Habba said +1
    that's what I thought too, but usually the more introverted I am, the more I bottle things in, and in turn get more paranoid or self conscious. when I can express myself I can trust what others are saying (reassurance that everything's okay, etc) and I feel more confident. it's probably the other way around though

    so I guess it's more of a matter of confidence! isn't that a problem that most ISFJs have to deal with? can anyone speak from experience?

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