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  1. #31
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    You go out on the balcony and scream at the top of your lungs:


    "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! "

    Kinda like a mouse on drugs!!!

    Nah, seriously, though, hmm...It's just there - I can't describe it. I'm not a party animal by any stretch of the imagination (my E is really low though)...

    Most of the time I'd rather be with a really small group of friends or just work on the computer, read, work out alone at the gym, or watch a movie. That leads a lot of people to believe that I'm introverted, but I'm not.

    When I think, I like to do it out loud (like a brainstorming session) with other people. When I feel a certain way (unless it makes me feel really awkward) I like to talk to all the people I can. And I like to help others through my work. That's how my E comes out, but it doesn't show itself in the traditional ways of partying every weekend, having tons of friends, and passing out drunk or dancing like a leopard on marijuana...that's not me.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  2. #32
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    I wonder how different introverts view this problem. I'm sure the IxxPs don't see their lack of extraversion as MUCH of an issue because they contend with the world using Ne or Se, so they're much more laid back. However, an IxxJ, who tries to put order in their world probably faces this problem much more often? I mean, as an IxFJ, would your lack of extraversion lead you to feeling like you let down your friends or family?
    I really wished I could recall the INTJ that wrote a post years ago on using the auxiliary defensively. Nevertheless, the Personality Page has developed a growth page over the years which seems complete now. The author contends that all types who use their dominant function will allow their auxiliary and lesser functions to sit in the shadow. This seems to coincide with Myers-Briggs assertion for the need to develop auxiliary functions for balance. Back to your example Raz, an ISFJ over using their Si function will have these problems with poor use of their Fe:
    • May find difficulty expressing their feelings without fear or anger.
    • May be unable to correctly judge what really is for the best
    • May wrongly suspect others of having hidden motives or agendas
    • May be unable to shrug off feelings impending disaster
    • May be unable to acknowledge or hear anything that goes against their certainty about the “correct” or “right” way to do things
    • May have a tendency to blame particular persons for disturbing or upsetting “their world” by simply being who they are
    • May come across to others as cold and insensitive to anything but another’s ability to fit in with and support their own judgements
    • May be unnecessarily harsh or strict about appropriate social behaviour
    • May be oblivious to what others think about them
    • May come across as rigid, inflexible or even cold and uncaring to others, without being aware of it
    • May be unable to understand verbal logic, and quickly cut off other’s explanations
    • May value their own certainties about the world and its problems far above others
    • May be quite falsely certain of their influence upon, and understanding of others
    • May be extremely vulnerable to tricks, con men, false hopes, religious cults and conspiracy theories
    • May react with anger or distress when someone expresses disagreement with their view of the world, or disapproval of their judgements
    • May favour their judgements to the degree that they are unable to notice the pain or difficulty such judgements might cause others
    • Under great stress, are likely to make outrageously harsh and uncaringly selfish survival oriented decisions

  3. #33

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    Quote Originally Posted by "?" View Post
    an ISFJ over using their Si function
    that's definitely my problem then! how can I stop it?

  4. #34
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ?";580319]I really wished I could recall the INTJ that wrote a post years ago on using the auxiliary defensively. Nevertheless, the [URL="http://personalitypage.com/personal.html
    Personality Page[/URL] has developed a growth page over the years which seems complete now. The author contends that all types who use their dominant function will allow their auxiliary and lesser functions to sit in the shadow. This seems to coincide with Myers-Briggs assertion for the need to develop auxiliary functions for balance. Back to your example Raz, an ISFJ over using their Si function will have these problems with poor use of their Fe:
    Wow. I'm looking at the ISTJ one:

    * Excessive love of food and drink
    * Lack of interest in other people, or in relating to them
    * Occasional inappropriate emotional displays
    * General selfish "look after oneself" tendencies
    * Uses judgement to dismiss other's opinions and perspectives, before really understanding them
    * May judge others rather than themselves
    * May look at external ideas and people with the primary purpose of finding fault
    * May become slave to their routine and "by the book" ways of doing things, to the point that any deviation is completely unacceptable
    * May have difficulty communicating their thoughts and feelings to anyone
    I wonder if this is really my problem is the lack of extraversion experience? This is making me start to wonder if I really employ Extraverted Thinking only as a defense. I feel like I only deal with the outer world to meet the minimum requirements so that I can do what I want. That's the way I was when I was younger, though. I looked at what was required, did the minimum to get by, and went to what I was interested in. I just have a really hard time relating to people because I just see them as a threat to my own security or irrelevant when compared to what really matters to me.


  5. #35
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    I wonder if this is really my problem is the lack of extraversion experience? This is making me start to wonder if I really employ Extraverted Thinking only as a defense. I feel like I only deal with the outer world to meet the minimum requirements so that I can do what I want. That's the way I was when I was younger, though. I looked at what was required, did the minimum to get by, and went to what I was interested in. I just have a really hard time relating to people because I just see them as a threat to my own security or irrelevant when compared to what really matters to me.
    Raz I think we all do it from time-to-time which is why I am sometimes suspect of MBTI. Myers-Briggs wrote her descriptions based on a balanced (therefore healthy) type. In reality I have always argued that life’s circumstances make it hard for the average person to maintain that sense of balance in my opinion. Make no bones about it, extraverts can use their auxiliary in defense as well. Here are the ways that ISTPs can use their Se defensively:
    The ISTP gets "stuck in a rut" and only does those things that are known and comfortable to the ISTP.
    • The ISTP resists and rejects anything that doesn't support their own experiential understanding of the world. If there is a conflict between their own way of life and something that they encounter, they don't perceive that "something" in an objective sense. Rather, they reject it to avoid conflict and to preserve the sanctity of their inner world.
    • They choose to surround themselves with people who support their own way of life, and reject people who think or live differently.
    • They may become overly paranoid about social organizations and institutions trying to control them.
    They may unknowingly or uncaringly hurt people's feelings.
    • They may be completely unaware of how to express their inner world to others in a meaningful way.

    • They may be completely unaware of the type of communication that is often desireable and (to some degree) expected in an intimate relationship. If they are aware of the kinds of things that are appropriate to say and do to foster emotional bonding, they may be unable to appreciate the value of such actions. They may feel too vulnerable to express themselves in this fashion, and so reject the entire idea.
    • If pushed beyond their comfort level to form commitments or emotional bonds, they may reject a relationship entirely.
    • Under stress, they may show intense emotions that seem disproportionate to the situation.

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