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  1. #21
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Costrin View Post
    It could theoretically work the other way around, right? Where the ENFP becomes more introverted?

    If there's any way to do it, it's just by practicing. A lot. And getting older. As you get older people tend to balance out. But don't push yourself. If you become stressed, then you should probably stop.
    The only way for an introvert to project extravertedness is practice, so I agree with Costrin, but I also agree that it takes effort. I've perfected my extravert technique after many years, but it still tires me out - that's not great when you have to keep it up constantly i.e. in a relationship.

    My advice would be just to go with the flow. How long have you been going out? The closer you get to each other the more open you will be. ENFPs tend to be understanding individuals anyway, so don't be afraid to just talk about everything to her. I'm an introvert but even I believe good relationships are based on talking and trust. This is particularly necessary if you are feeling down, because if you don't talk to your girlfriend about it she'll jump to the conclusion that the problem must be something to do with her.

    I'll third the suggestion that she might even become more introverted herself. Introverted as in a bit calmer and more pensive, although I highly recommend you open up more. As couples grow closer the differences in their personalities even out, so don't worry too much. Plus, she's with you so she obviously likes you as you are!

    EDIT: Sorry if this seems a bit late...I missed a whole page of the thread out.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    I'm proud to show my values and my creativity. Sometimes when I'll feel a little shy in a certain situation, I'll let loose anyway and bring out my funk, and it makes me feel better. I like to bring out my funk when I'm around others whom I know probably wouldn't agree with it (filthy SJs!), just kidding.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  3. #23
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    hello! I'm an ISFJ male and have been dating an ENFP for almost 6 months now. we get along really well and have a ton of things in common, except that I'm really introverted and she's really extroverted. that extroverted side sometimes gets to me though, and I know our relationship would be much better if I could just open up and stop being as introverted as I am.

    can anyone help with this? how can I become more of an extrovert?
    OK, I bought a $35 paper on MBTI and relationships not too long ago, and interestingly enough, with regard to E/I, it indicated that there is apparently either one of two effects if a couple differ in that trait: (1) It's beneficial, or (2) it's an issue. I can't summarize the whole thing here, but apparently many happy couples match with regard to their secondary, and tertiary (middle two) characteristics. The happiest couples had two or more MBTI traits in common, many of the cuouples who reported dissatifaction had 1 or less MBTI trait in common.

    So, I don't know what to tell you but. Does your uintroversion seem to bug your girlfirend? If not, then let it be, she might like it! Good luck!

  4. #24
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Bringing out the E... Am I the only one thinking of refining processes for Ecstacy?

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  5. #25
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    wrap it in a bag, open the front door to your house and then you have to watch for one of that metal cans
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #26
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Bringing out the E... Am I the only one thinking of refining processes for Ecstacy?
    Sounds like you need some sassafras oil, palladium bromide, nitromethane, a few other odds and ends and one hell of a home chemistry set....and a REALLY good lawyer!

  7. #27
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    so I guess it's more of a matter of confidence! isn't that a problem that most ISFJs have to deal with? can anyone speak from experience?
    I struggle with it sometimes. Even I'm tired of it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    warm8, I don't have any particular advice for your question, but I want to encourage you to stick around the forum even after this topic fizzles. I don't think there's a single ISFJ male who regularly posts here, so your perspective on many topics would be really worthwhile.
    Yes.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Bringing out the E... Am I the only one thinking of refining processes for Ecstacy?
    lol usually what I'd think if this was a rave forum

  9. #29
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    hello! I'm an ISFJ male and have been dating an ENFP for almost 6 months now. we get along really well and have a ton of things in common, except that I'm really introverted and she's really extroverted. that extroverted side sometimes gets to me though, and I know our relationship would be much better if I could just open up and stop being as introverted as I am.

    can anyone help with this? how can I become more of an extrovert?
    I have not read Dario Nardi's book "8 Keys to Self Leadership: From Awareness to Action", but Wolfy started this thread, referring to developing the Se function. The book may give you some insights on, as ISFJ how much you use your Fe. Based on the quick assessment, it will indicate the level you are at and techniques to develop it more. I have been attempting to purchase the book, however did not want to pay the shipping charge.

  10. #30
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    I wonder how different introverts view this problem. I'm sure the IxxPs don't see their lack of extraversion as MUCH of an issue because they contend with the world using Ne or Se, so they're much more laid back. However, an IxxJ, who tries to put order in their world probably faces this problem much more often? I mean, as an IxFJ, would your lack of extraversion lead you to feeling like you let down your friends or family?

    I face this problem all of the time. I'm much more content being alone. I mean, just now, I went to a lake, walked around for an hour, then sat in a swing set for 10 minutes. When I was sitting in the swing set, I felt so completely relaxed, to the point that I almost felt guilty that I didn't need constant activity to have that point of contentment.

    To me, I look at the demands from the outside world as just that....demands. That's probably the ISTJ way of looking at it. I have to get out of the world what satisfies my introversion, and in return, it places demands on me that I feel I have to constantly categorize and structure in order to maintain control. If I have to go exercise or go outside for a certain amount of time to be extraverted enough, then I just put it on a mental to do list.

    My main problem though, and I was going to make a thread on this, is that I feel guilty when I'm alone and I feel so content. In my immediate family, 2/3 of it is ExFx. My father and myself are the only I's. I constantly feel like I *should* be doing something more extraverted, but it's so taxing and it makes me feel not myself. My family somewhat understands how reserved I am, but I don't think they really understand the depth of it and the reasoning behind it. Being an IxTJ, I place so much analysis on myself from the introspection, and then I place just as much analysis on the outside world because of Te. It leads to everyone constantly telling me to STOP ANALYZING EVERYTHING. It gets old.


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