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  1. #11
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Ask her for help.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post
    Ask her for help.
    I do, and she does make me feel better but she usually just tells me to build my confidence or love myself, but I don't really know how to do that! and it sucks big time for me and her.

  3. #13
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    I do, and she does make me feel better but she usually just tells me to build my confidence or love myself, but I don't really know how to do that! and it sucks big time for me and her.


    Hmm... middle ground. Hang around people you're comfortable with. That way, you can be a safe E. Family, close friends, etc. And in areas that you're familiar with. She can do her E thing, and you can feel safe.

    It's sweet that you want to improve yourself, but temporarily altering yourself for a desired outcome seems... unnatural. Extroversion is something usually just happens - it can be cultivated, but usually you have to find your own niche. It's a lot of fearlessness and almost mindlessness. Just start talking to people.

    Observe others. Some people just start talking about random things. Others are formal. Find your niche, where you are comfortable. The type of people you are comfortable talking to, etc.

    Good luck! You seem like a wonderful person!

  4. #14
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I find in social situations if I have one person I'm really comfortable around I can act extroverted easier then if I know no one then I get bad anxiety
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by FemmeUrbane View Post


    Hmm... middle ground. Hang around people you're comfortable with. That way, you can be a safe E. Family, close friends, etc. And in areas that you're familiar with. She can do her E thing, and you can feel safe.

    It's sweet that you want to improve yourself, but temporarily altering yourself for a desired outcome seems... unnatural. Extroversion is something usually just happens - it can be cultivated, but usually you have to find your own niche. It's a lot of fearlessness and almost mindlessness. Just start talking to people.

    Observe others. Some people just start talking about random things. Others are formal. Find your niche, where you are comfortable. The type of people you are comfortable talking to, etc.

    Good luck! You seem like a wonderful person!
    haha, thank you! I'll try my best

  6. #16
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    warm8, I don't have any particular advice for your question, but I want to encourage you to stick around the forum even after this topic fizzles. I don't think there's a single ISFJ male who regularly posts here, so your perspective on many topics would be really worthwhile.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  7. #17
    o edward cullen! Ardea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    haha, thank you! I'll try my best
    I don't doubt it.

    And yes, what Jeff said.

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    warm8, I don't have any particular advice for your question, but I want to encourage you to stick around the forum even after this topic fizzles. I don't think there's a single ISFJ male who regularly posts here, so your perspective on many topics would be really worthwhile.
    sure. I've actually been lurking here for a while, just never got the courage to join.

    in any case, I think I'm a 100% textbook representation of an ISFJ male

  9. #19

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    I'm sort of the same way, as in I'm more extroverted with people I know only. So, if you hang out with the same people regularly together then over time you should naturally just become better at being yourself and opening up. That's the way it works for me and most I's in general I believe. They don't open up to just anybody.

    If however you have other problems regarding self confidence, then that might come from other problems. ISFJ's often feel like they need to do everything, and be better in order to feel worthy, but if you realise that there are plenty of people out there that do not expect the world of you and you CAN just be normal with them then that will go a long way to help your self confidence as well I would imagine. If you have more self confidence, then it will definitely be easier to bring out your extroverted side as well. As others said, it's an essential part of extroversion.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by warm8 View Post
    She usually just tells me to build my confidence or love myself, but I don't really know how to do that!
    Like I said, ISFJs I know tend to blame themselves for just about anything. It's hard to love oneself, if you constantly think you are to be blamed when something goes wrong. However, this characteristics can be turned into something very positive. Healthy ISFJs are very considering towards other people, and it's great. I've never been insulted by an ISFJ (well, except for one unhealthy person, who kept doing it between the lines). Their actions are always meant to bring balance and harmony. Wherever ISFJ reigns, peace is not unknown.

    I'm currently seeing an ISFJ girl, and the best thing about her is that I can really relax when she's around. She's never angry or stressing. She rarely demands anything and is always happy to help with cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.

    So, it's time for you to start thinking positive things about you! Write a list about your good sides. Why are you such a great person? If you can't think any, she might be able to help you. This may sound stupid, but I know what I'm talking about. I've been through depression (had medication, took a year off from school, etc.), and listing my good sides really made me realise how wonderful person I really am. I mean, I'm smart, funny, reasonable, trustworthy, peaceful, relaxed, walking encyclopedia and stuff. Why wouldn't I like myself?
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
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