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Thread: How NOT to Mislead an ISTJ?

  1. #11
    See Right Through Me Array Bubbles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009


    I agree with others, you need to be straight forward. You know, tell them the truth and make it obvious! On the other hand, I think ISTJ's are the worst when it comes to "leading" them on. They tend to be vulnerable to that type of thing I think.
    If the person is single, it will spark hopes regardless. An easy way to say it is "I'm not actively seeking anyone right now, I have other priorities in life." I've been told that, it totally disarmed me, I understood the point.
    Roger that. I'll slip it into conversation that I'm not interested in dating right now, thereby saving the friendship and not letting it become awkward.

    ...Reading that, it sounds totally obvious, and I sound like an idiot for not coming up with it earlier. Wow. Thanks for listening, guys.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array NewEra's Avatar
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    Dec 2008


    Be clear.

  3. #13
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    May 2015


    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    It's hard to NOT mislead a guy when you randomly start talking to us. You have to make it clear you aren't interested in some way. I do this with girls I'm not interested in, I somehow push the feeling of "I don't think of you that way" in a nice way.

    So um.... what do you do if you've already said this to an INTJ friend but you keep picking up "feels" that say otherwise.
    Better to ditch the whole relationship to avoid confusion or what??

    Seems no matter what I do, I tend to attract this type. and they are usually quiet but very attuned to me when I am present.
    I straight out say I have a man who is also ISTJ, but I am very sarcastic and joke a lot, and then I get caught up in the mixture of feels and fall back into worrywarting... ugh

  4. #14


    Oh that's easy. Just tell them that you are already attached and are planning to get engaged soon and they will soon get the hint and back off

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