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  1. #1
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Default ISTJ-ISTJ Relationship?

    Alright, my curiosity is getting the best of me this time. I can't be the only one wondering this, and sorry if there is already an old thread about it. But let's assume both male and female ISTJ are in a healthy mental state:

    I would like everyone's opinion on this, especially any ISTJ girls. Do you think an ISTJ male- ISTJ female would be able to have a romantic relationship? Could they keep it going? Why or why not?

    My opinion is that yes, they [or ANY type] has the potential to get into a relationship, however, my lack of knowledge on ISTJ girls make me wonder if they could keep the relationship going. It also depends on their values and how "healthy" their mental state is. However, there are other people I have talked to who say it just can't be done.

  2. #2
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    However, there are other people I have talked to who say it just can't be done.
    Like me, probably.

    I mean it (partly from experience) when I say that it seems there wouldn't usually be enough momentum for such a relationship to go anywhere. But it might work out, if both ISTJs decide they're fine with that. And knowing ISTJs, they might.

    Maybe I mean that it would be difficult to get the relationship moving, and not just at the beginning. Always a lot of inertia, not a lot of momentum.

    I don't think that should stop anyone from trying, though.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 03-08-2009 at 05:49 PM. Reason: obvious, but saying it anyway
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Like me, probably.

    I mean it (partly from experience) when I say that it seems there wouldn't usually be enough momentum for such a relationship to go anywhere. But it might work out, if both ISTJs decide they're fine with that. And knowing ISTJs, they might.

    Maybe I mean that it would be difficult to get the relationship moving, and not just at the beginning. Always a lot of inertia, not a lot of momentum.

    I don't think that should stop anyone from trying, though.
    That's kind of what I was going to say. It would probably be alright, maybe even more than alright, although I don't think it would be the most passionate affair ever.
    BUT I don't know if it would even happen in the first place. I reckon each of the ISTJs would be too passive to make a move and would be kind of nonchalantly not too bothered about it.

    On a similar theme, I believe I've typed 2 guys that I know from classes as ISTJ. Now, in the case of one of them, we're always the 2 last people to arrive in class so we tend to sit next to each other most of the time, and we keep bumping into each other in random places, so we've exchanged a few words. We've also discovered that we both have a deep interest in crime fiction, and yet despite our obvious similarities and bumping into each other all the time we're still just acquaintances rather than friends. Which would seem like the next step. Similar thing with the other guy.

    You need someone to be proactive. This definitely doesn't mean that an ISTJ can't be proactive about approaching people and forming relationships, it just means that it'll require a bit more effort, and frankly you'd have to be really bothered.

  4. #4
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    Like the saying goes, "Anything is possible," but usually ISTJ + ISTJ = friendship, not romance.
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  5. #5
    Senior Member simpleamazement's Avatar
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    I dated an ISTJ female for a little while. It felt kind of strange, there was some initial attraction, but it died down quickly.

  6. #6
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    That would be one organized household!

    Justin, why do you think it died down? Same reasons as Shadow said? Neither of you were the aggressor?

  7. #7
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Shadow, who made the move in your relationship?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
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    My boyfriend (ISFJ for those not in the know), weirdly.
    The thing is, I make it clear that I'm attracted to someone if I fancy them (or I think I do, anyway) but that person has to pick up on it and make the move. Possibly as my boyfriend is an SJ, and an F at that, he was more aware of this than most guys that I've attempted to flirt with.
    It did take us a couple of 'friendly dates' out though, and bear in mind we'd been chatting online daily for a full month before even meeting in person, which must have helped to assure each other that we really did fancy the other one. It's so much easier to let out emotions to people you barely know when you're behind a screen.

    One idea I have for a possible difference between ISFJ and ISTJ about this is over-analysis. My boyfriend is always telling me I over analyse situations, and when you do this the worst case scenarios might make you less likely to try. At the moment I'm trying to stop talking myself out of job applications, for example, because I can imagine myriad things that could go wrong (and there's always more things that could go wrong than could go right.) This is probably down to T.

  9. #9
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    My boyfriend (ISFJ for those not in the know), weirdly.
    The thing is, I make it clear that I'm attracted to someone if I fancy them (or I think I do, anyway) but that person has to pick up on it and make the move. Possibly as my boyfriend is an SJ, and an F at that, he was more aware of this than most guys that I've attempted to flirt with.
    It did take us a couple of 'friendly dates' out though, and bear in mind we'd been chatting online daily for a full month before even meeting in person, which must have helped to assure each other that we really did fancy the other one. It's so much easier to let out emotions to people you barely know when you're behind a screen.

    One idea I have for a possible difference between ISFJ and ISTJ about this is over-analysis. My boyfriend is always telling me I over analyse situations, and when you do this the worst case scenarios might make you less likely to try. At the moment I'm trying to stop talking myself out of job applications, for example, because I can imagine myriad things that could go wrong (and there's always more things that could go wrong than could go right.) This is probably down to T.
    In your case, I think the main difference between you two is that one is male and one is female.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    In your case, I think the main difference between you two is that one is male and one is female.
    Well there I go with the over-analysing then, lol!

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