Not to be mean, but wouldn't this pairing be rather, well, un-sparkish, and bland?
I dunno, I could be wrong.
Probably. But then again, if both parties are looking for one of those stable, home-loving relationships it might be just what they want. No worries about the other being unreliable or a bit of a hazard etc. etc. Probably same priorities.
Buuut... I really can't see where the passion would come from, it's true. I don't think either would be particularly emotional and you need visible emotions in a relationship. Plus a bit of contrast is what makes relationships interesting; relationships tend to break when they become too predictable. Sooner or later one of the pair is going to be seduced by some emotionally outgoing spark.
Maybe this pairing is best if they're just close friends and confidantes.
I'm going to agree with what the recent posters have said, that it would likely be a very uneventful and bland relationship. As friends, it would be very comfortable and drama free, but for romantic relationships there needs to be an element of passion.
My best female friend is another ISTJ. Our friendship is extremely comfortable and open. She is someone I go to when I need to feel understood. We were roommates our last year in college. It was an awesome living situation because we both respected one another's personal space and time. Seriously, we were like an old couple living together. We picked up after ourselves, enjoyed the same tv shows and a lot of the same hobbies. We had our own little predictable schedules...it was bizarrely stress-free and wonderful living with someone so close in personality to me (She's likely more extroverted and a stronger J than me).
However, when I think of someone I'd want a relationship with, I wouldn't want a male version of her. While she is fantastic and such a valuable person in my life, there is little element of surprise in our relationship. She is my comfort zone, and while I desire stability and comfort in a romantic relationship there also has to be an element of surprise, spontaneity, and challenge.
HI Im an ISTJ female...I would try dating an ISTJ guy just to see what would happen! I have been curious myself about this very topic! and for me to solidly know that something is true, or not true, I really need to do it my self.
I grew up in a family of 6, with my mother also an ISTJ. Being the youngest child I learned how to form to any ones personality to get along with them because I like sharing deep connections with all people!
my friend and ENFP, has a best friend that is an ISTJ like me. Iv talked to him many times and normally when ISTJs meet someone they are very reserved, and not very interested in revealing much about them selves or talking about anything to deeply. but we both knew that we were ISTJ so when we started talking it was like we immediately connected on a higher level because we both knew that we could understand each other. I believe I could have a very close romantic relationship with another ISTJ because where ever that person is lacking, I will with out hesitation pick up that slack weather its being romantic, or starting a conversation...and doing so i would feel needed by that person witch would make me very happy .
Welcome board, JoyISTJ. Your username looks like sarcasm* -I love it!
While many people think of it as a "match made in heaven", it is not. My exchanges with mentally healthy, male ISTJs prove me right time and time again.
What I noticed:
Our lack of flexibility makes us unable to get to agreements, which is a necessary skill to keep a healthy loving relationship. Somebody has to give in sometimes, and, that´s not in our nature. We stick to our guns due to our conviction in our own righteousness.
Also, if the guy has a strong Feeling preference (they are rare, but they do exist) you are screwed, since they are more sensitive to criticism.
Another thing is, our inability to both express our feelings, and to tell what the other person is feeling. Two people unconsciously hurting each other, without expressing it, it´s painful. Good, and sincere (we don´t admit being hurt) communication, is also essential for loving relationships.
As for friendship, it is great. But an ISTJ loving mate, not for me.
*You´ll realize this as you stay in the forum.
Last edited by Donna Cecilia; 06-26-2010 at 01:08 PM.
"An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."