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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    I found the most effective way to deal with the situation is.. to nod. Smile. Say: "Absolutely!" Then walk away.

    Sometimes, I tune out nagging by replaying my favorite songs in my head or think of something randomly funny. While they spew on externally, I spew on internally by going la-la-la.
    You do realize that will pissed them off even more when they find out you haven't done the job

  2. #82
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-Guy View Post
    You do realize that will pissed them off even more when they find out you haven't done the job
    Ok.. shucks.. I didn't realize my behavior causes that much anger.. I like to think of positive reinforcement.

    When I'm nagged, I feel misunderstood, somewhat disrespected.

    When I'm talked to constructively, I do my ultimate BEST at whatevers asked of me, above and beyond. It makes me say: "Yes Drill Sargeant Sir. I am here to serve." I do so with heart when I know I'm understood, sincerely. And, I know I need a kick in the butt sometimes!

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viv View Post
    Ok.. shucks.. I didn't realize my behavior causes that much anger.. I like to think of positive reinforcement.

    When I'm nagged, I feel misunderstood, somewhat disrespected.

    When I'm talked to constructively, I do my ultimate BEST at whatevers asked of me, above and beyond. It makes me say: "Yes Drill Sargeant Sir. I am here to serve." I do so with heart when I know I'm understood, sincerely. And, I know I need a kick in the butt sometimes!
    Right. So how should I talk to you constructively if I want something done?

  4. #84
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    I just keep doing things my way regardless.

    I'm not going to change for people. Why should I? Usually if an SJ nags me I just agree with them but then just continue to do it my own way.

    I mean hell its not like I haven't thought that SJs do things in a less productive way than me (eg. planning takes time I believe is spent better doing things) but I don't push my methods onto them and I expect the same respect in return.

    50% of the population are SJs... the chance of you bumping into an unhealthy SJ is far more likely than that of an SP, NF or NT.

    A true SJ protects and empowers people they don't control and manipulate them.

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-Guy View Post
    Right. So how should I talk to you constructively if I want something done?
    You could start with

    "Would you mind doing me a favor I'd really appreciate it"

    Rather than just expecting them to do it if you tell them to

    Or maybe you should leave the smooth talking to us ESTPs?

  6. #86
    loopy Ulaes's Avatar
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    chloroform

  7. #87
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I can pretty much agree with Luke on all terms (including ESTP smooth talk ). Give us a reason to want to do something for you, this was my main problem with living with my ESTJ step mom. Never gave me a reason to do the million little things asked besides "because I said so." If I could understand what it was going toward and it wasn't an order, but rather being asked politely to do a favor then I would have had a much easier time and would have been willing to help. This is what you want when you are "nagging" us, correct? To help? Ask like you would a friend to help you, say, move a couch out of your house. "I need your help, can you please help me with this?" Not exactly like that, but in a friendly and nice tone, it promotes the person being more likely to do it.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #88
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    Yeah, but let's say you are responsible for taking out the garbage that will be picked up tomorrow morning. When you just sit around doing nothing, I have good reasons to tell you to do your job. So there shouldn't be a need for smooth talking or asking nicely or giving you a reason because you are not doing what you are suppose to do.

  9. #89
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Whenever I think of SJs telling people to take out the trash, I think of Peggy Hill bringing it out to Hank in the alley, and handing it to him so he can take two steps to put it in the can.

    Been there, done that. Peggy, you highlight my foibles so clearly.

    As I've said to my husband before, though, it only becomes nagging when I have to ask more than once. If he'd either do it, tell me he plans to do it later (and not so much later that I may as well do it myself), or just come out and say he can't do it, there would be no nagging. He insists he doesn't think I nag (he's more annoyed when I ask him to do something and then micromanage how he does it, which I am working on) but I'm self-conscious about it because I don't want to become this lady:
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  10. #90
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    My mom (ISFJ) is bossy and will nag until you either tell her off or do it. I'm nearly 40 years old and she sometimes still has a way of making me feel like a child. To be fair though I am usually lecturing her on how she needs to stop living in the past and embrace new things and enjoy her life! That stickupthebutt thing's gotta be cumbersome.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

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