my daughter, an ESFJ, nags CONSTANTLY and has been the worst bossy boots ever since she learned to talk. Ever since she learned to talk, I've told her about sixty times a day to mind her own business and stop bossing people around and quit interfearing and stop nagging, but all it's done is just make it worse. When she's not at home, me and the other kid just chill, but as soon as she comes back she's straight in with the nagging, the lectures, the bossing about, and you have two options, with the following outcomes:
1. Do as she says. And she then finds something else to make you do, and you have to do that too, and so on, until all your time is spent pandering to her.
2. Don't do as she says, and she goes on about it relentlessly and/or starts crying, and your day will now be consumed by dealing with her drama queening. The other option is that she'll store it up to fling at you later on when she's having a drama fit over something else and wants to reel off a list of things you did that upset her.
I have yet to find a way, and believe me, I've really been through a long list of conceivable ways, of explaining to her that the world will not collapse if she stops trying to control it for an hour. She is just not able to chill. At all. And thinks EVERYTHING, the success of anything, however trivial, and everyone's happiness, is her responsibility. And, through this attitude, renders most success and happiness in those around her, very difficult to achieve.
I'm as keen as the guy in the OP to find out if there is any way at all of dealing with this, cos she's now 11 and it's bloody unbearable. It's like having a Victorian governess giving moral lectures in your ear all the time, except the times when it's like living in a soap opera level of drama because, apparently, your failure to put the towel ABSOLUTELY straight on the rack is a symptom, example and cause of EVERYTHING in her life being wrong, of her being ABJECTLY unhappy, and spending the next hour in tears. And it's ALL YOUR FAULT.
Help, I'm turning into a 70's sitcom character!!!