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  1. #21
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Introverted-esfp View Post
    Is their any effective method of having them shutting up? about the trivial things they consider important?.
    The only time this happens to me is when my ISTJ shadow comes out to play and then she really is a :steam: :eek:

    When I get like that I can't stand for my shit to be out of place, mostly because I feel like the need to control something, although I'm not normally like that.

    In that case, just keep your shit out of my room - keep it in yours, and I'm cool with it. Otherwise:

    But no worries, after the stress is over, it passes, and my room looks like a hurricane again. Whewwwwwwwww!!!!!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  2. #22
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Why are trivial things important to some people? If they have a value attachment to it, what can we do to change it without looking like an attack on their values?

    (we = people , not any specific type)
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #23
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Why are trivial things important to some people? If they have a value attachment to it, what can we do to change it without looking like an attack on their values?
    For me, the fact that you (not speaking to you, just generally) want to change something about me is an attack in itself, it does not matter what the specific thing is.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  4. #24
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    FDG has a point, why do you want to change someone at all? You generally get a negative response.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  5. #25
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    actually, it works.
    my mother, (esfj)
    2 supervisors (estjs)
    friends, (istjs, isfjs)
    all back down after this approach. It seems scary but I don't really care, if people piss me off then they're going to get responses like that. I just always remember that nagging is rude and inappropriate and unacceptable. They don't put up with my shit, I don't put up with theirs.
    i like it..
    people should expect a response like that if they lack the ability to communicate respectfully.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #26
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Wow, I would say not completely. I have found to be most effective an acknowlegement of the "issue" followed by a promise to think about solutions to it.

    For example:

    SJ: How come no one puts stuff away? Why am I the only person who does anything around here?

    Me: I hear what you are saying - that's frustrating. Let's think about how we can fix this.

    I think an SJ just needs reassurance that someone cares (or wants to understand) about what bothers them and make an effort to try to facilitate a fix.

    Hope that helps!

    ^ This is my favorite response so far. When I get pissed off this approach seems to work the best. However, when I was younger there were occasions when I could get really annoying and my Exxx family could not put up with it. (i.e. when they put their junk in my personal space on a regular basis!:steam That's when Shortnsweet's response came in and I walked off grumbling and after a few minutes it all passed and all was well again.

    On a different note, who is trying to change who? I'm not sure where that question stemmed from? Blackcat?

  7. #27
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I have a perfect solution: Tape their mouths shut!
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    in my experience, things have needed to be repeated to me because i was not really listening, you could start with that.

  9. #29
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Why are trivial things important to some people? If they have a value attachment to it, what can we do to change it without looking like an attack on their values?

    (we = people , not any specific type)
    Dave this is what I was referring to. To change someone's values, it's very hard, and when you do this it usually just produces anger from the person you are trying to change. The person will be stubborn about it the whole time too. I was asking why you would want to change something about someone's values.
    Last edited by BlackCat; 03-02-2009 at 04:59 PM. Reason: whoops wrong name
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #30
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I have a perfect solution: Tape their mouths shut!
    ^ And here I thought you were different LL, possibly a sweet little innocent ENFP.... but Peguy was right!!!

    This just furthers my suspicons, there is no such thing as an ENFP with good intentions!!

    At least, not when it comes to SJ's!

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