here is my DILEMMA:
I'm falling for an ISTJ guy. I posted the description of him here:
the story is complicated. He lives far away, we just saw each other for the first time (after talking a little on the net) few weeks ago, right away there was a huge attraction between the two of us. He would kinda joke/flirt with me....he was hilarious...he gave me many compliments (some joking, some serious) and would say things like:
"i feel like i've known you forever" which I found to be very odd and maybe even fake...I mean, come on, we just met! there were 2 other girls hitting on him (i was trying not to), but he would ignore them.
anyway, we have been in daily email contact since.
I've known his best friend for a few years now, and this is what his best friend says about him:
he's got a girlfriend for 4 years now, it's a bad relationship, she's apparently cheating on him, very bitchy, they don't have anything in common, won't spend time together...not even on the weekends....they broke up a few times (he moved out) but came back 1-2 weeks later.
his friend says that the ISTJ really likes me a lot, and won't stop talking about me...however....mostly joking, example:
the friend is in a store with the ISTJ guy, the ISTJ guy picks some fancy high heels, his friend asks him: "do you want to buy them for your woman?" the ISTJ answers acting totally serious: "hmmm, do you think (mentions my name instead of his gf name) would like them?" (his friend starts laughing of course)
anyway, since we saw each other 3 weeks ago he writes me looooong emails, asking me questions about my life, giving some advice, he is being very sweet and nice, calling me very sweet names, giving lots of compliments and affection...but he never talks about his deep/true feelings which bothers me a lot....he would still joke whenever he flirts with me: example:
I'm telling him about a house I just saw and thinking about buying, he would ask how big the basement is? if there is enough space for him and his drums (adding that he won't mind if I take over the rest of the house, he is sure I will decorate it lovely) ....
I guess this is supposed to be a joke, because there's no relationship between the two of us. he writes me these type of things all the time: I usually answer joking as well, but he would never follow up on it or get serious. he keeps asking me why am I talking to him, telling me he can't keep up with me. I know he respects me for what I do for a living and stuff like that...
I really, really like him, and if it was up to me, i would want him here and now!
my question is....
is there any future for us? he is crazy about his career, work and looks like he is loyal to his gf despite the difficulties. I don't want to keep talking to a guy that is in a relationship, despite that his friend is really trying to get us two together, saying that his gf is bad for him, and I'm the best thing that ever happened to the ISTJ, saying that he will do anything to bring us two together (because he loves his ISTJ friend) and thinks I will be good for him.(i am surprised by his friend's actions though...but whatever)
Are all ISTJ guys so flirty but it doesn't mean much to them? do you think he really is serious about me? I don't know if I can trust 100% what his friend says...
Will the ISTJ ever consider breaking up with his gf, and try it with me? his friend (he really tells me a lot) says that he would already be with me if I was living closer...but the distance is too big (he is in europe where I'm originally from), however not so for me...I moved around everywhere, and I have the means to do it, I'm financially independent (he knows that), and I can support him, he doesn't need to work...I know he is aware of this and likes this about me, but would a ISTJ ever consider something like that? is there a hope for any relationship? or in order for anything to happen, I have to move to his city and do all the work?...will he ever make the first step and change something about his life first (break up with his gf)? I just read that ISTJ don't like change?
should I wait or just let him go?
this guy was the reason to start posting on here...I really care about him
I would appreciate any advice...thank you