User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 151

  1. #51
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    453

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    Perhaps this thread could give us some insight into gender differences between ISTJs. For me, I'll be 24 next week, and I have no desire to be married at the moment (or anytime soon). I just watched my best friend get married yesterday, and the whole time I was with her and the rest of the bridal party, I just could not even fathom going through that myself. All of my close female friends are now married, and here I remain, single as can be...and I'm quite ok with that.

    I'd rather have my life established to the point where I know I can live on my own, support myself, and be happy. I want to have my own life that is not all wrapped up solely in one other person. I still feel young, and yeah, I'm still immature and changing. The whole belief of "we'll get to know each other as we grow old together" is not so appealing to me. I need to know what I'm getting into before-hand because yes, I am a traditionally-minded ISTJ, and once I'm married, I'm in it for life...so I need to be sure that I'm good and ready to make that commitment.

    Perhaps I feel this way though because I would admit that I have never truly been "in love." I've never met someone who I could honestly see myself with for the long haul. My INTJ that I have mentioned before is the closest I've come, and while I do love him, I know that we have major differences in some of our core beliefs which would very likely break us no matter how much we tried to make it work. For me, falling in love is just as much of a head decision as it is a heart decision. If things don't add up on either end, it's just not gonna work out.

    I have to say, despite my post just above, I understand you. Before I met my current boyfriend I thought I might possibly end up as a spinster, and wasn't worried about that. I kind of assumed that if I was meant to meet someone it would happen, whether at 20 or 50. I never considered myself as maternal either, but oddly, even though I'm only 21 and don't want babies until I'm at least 30, since I've met my boyfriend I've realised that I wouldn't be complete without children. His children.

    I've put the bit about being in it for life in bold, because I agree with that 100%. I see divorce as failure to be honest, and if there were arguments I'd want to be able to work through them, so I'd only be able to marry someone who I had a deep emotional understanding with.

    To be honest, before I met my boyfriend I was totally ready to emigrate to France or Germany after my French degree, and I would have been happy to live an exciting international lifestyle pursuing an exciting career. Now I won't be. There's always a compromise.

  2. #52
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Did anyone else read the thread title as "ISTJ girls are crazy"?

    Because I agree.
    I had to re-read it because that is what I thought it said at first too.

  3. #53
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Okay... well I just don't like to be alone. I have not been "in love" before, but have had girls who I was not interested in say they "loved" me... (I told them they were mistaken and that there was nothing to love lol)... it took forever for them to leave me alone, but they did.

    When I get married, I WILL be in it for life, as I am extremely loyal. I believe that for my future wife, I would have to be willing to sacrifice anything for her, including my life. Isn't that part of what this "love" thing is?

    I am very traditional obviously, but still, there must be some truth to what I am saying?

  4. #54
    No me digas, che! Recoleta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ISXJ
    Posts
    600

    Default

    ^Ha Shadow, that's really funny, because I studied Spanish, and I'm looking into the *possibility* of emigrating to South America...and yeah, I too have come to grips with the fact that I just might be the kind of person to live a spinster/wanderer/single life. I'm not closed off to the idea of love by any means, but I know I haven't found it yet, and I'm not one to pursue things of my own accord. Things like online dating I believe could never work for me; and frankly, I think I deserve a better story than "We met on match.com" Love will happen when it's ready to happen, and until then I'm content to enjoy the ride.

    Truly, I'm one of those people that has the mentality of "I'll know it when I see it." Really, when I KNOW something I don't doubt it because like I said before, the head and the heart are both in undeniable agreement -- and those "knowing moments" are very few and far between...so until I "know it" I'm content to keep living my life as it is.

    As for a maternal instinct, I don't really think I have much of one, but every so often I'll see evidence that it exists. I'm currently student teaching English as a Second Language in a middle school, and I absolutely love it. My kids are a huge source of joy and frustration, and I see that I have a natural rapport with my students (other teachers have told me so too), and there is a certain ease in teaching and disciplining them at that age. However, when I student taught in an elementary school, I felt very disengaged from my students, and it wasn't natural at all. I know I have it in me, so maybe it'll come naturally some day. Honestly though, I think I'd rather adopt from another country.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    453

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    ^Ha Shadow, that's really funny, because I studied Spanish, and I'm looking into the *possibility* of emigrating to South America...and yeah, I too have come to grips with the fact that I just might be the kind of person to live a spinster/wanderer/single life. I'm not closed off to the idea of love by any means, but I know I haven't found it yet, and I'm not one to pursue things of my own accord. Things like online dating I believe could never work for me; and frankly, I think I deserve a better story than "We met on match.com" Love will happen when it's ready to happen, and until then I'm content to enjoy the ride.

    Truly, I'm one of those people that has the mentality of "I'll know it when I see it." Really, when I KNOW something I don't doubt it because like I said before, the head and the heart are both in undeniable agreement -- and those "knowing moments" are very few and far between...so until I "know it" I'm content to keep living my life as it is.
    I have to admit now, I met my current boyfriend on online dating, but it was a site for my university (so the likelihood was there'd be fewer psychos on there...) and I didn't really believe it would lead to anything, I just thought I'd put a profile up! Me and my bf sent each other really long e-mails on a daily basis for a month and then *finally* he asked me out for a meal. We ended up speaking for 4 hours on that first date! I wasn't really concerned about getting with anyone until I realised that I liked him (before the irl date).

    Edit: We don't like to admit though. Our story is: "We met at a mutual friend's party." I'm sure people are suspicious of this because neither of us is the type to saunter over to someone at a party and chat them up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Recoleta View Post
    As for a maternal instinct, I don't really think I have much of one, but every so often I'll see evidence that it exists. I'm currently student teaching English as a Second Language in a middle school, and I absolutely love it. My kids are a huge source of joy and frustration, and I see that I have a natural rapport with my students (other teachers have told me so too), and there is a certain ease in teaching and disciplining them at that age. However, when I student taught in an elementary school, I felt very disengaged from my students, and it wasn't natural at all. I know I have it in me, so maybe it'll come naturally some day. Honestly though, I think I'd rather adopt from another country.
    See, I've always been very against the idea of me teaching... It's a combination of having a horrible time at primary school (I actually wanted to learn, you see, unlike everyone else, so I was bullied). I suppose in consequence I've just assumed that most children aren't very nice, although of course mine will be very well-behaved, kind and accepting :P

  6. #56
    Senior Member Shadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    453

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Okay... well I just don't like to be alone. I have not been "in love" before, but have had girls who I was not interested in say they "loved" me... (I told them they were mistaken and that there was nothing to love lol)... it took forever for them to leave me alone, but they did.
    'Love' isn't love unless it's reciprocated by both parties.

    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    When I get married, I WILL be in it for life, as I am extremely loyal. I believe that for my future wife, I would have to be willing to sacrifice anything for her, including my life. Isn't that part of what this "love" thing is?
    Yes.

  7. #57
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    2,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    'Love' isn't love unless it's reciprocated by both parties.
    Yeah, and that is why I never said I love you to them. Why say it when you don't mean it? It only gets you into deeper trouble. 'Love' is a word even more powerful than the word 'hate'.

    In fact, I don't say I love you to anyone. I'll occassionally say it to my friend when we aren't going to see eachother for a very long time, but other than that, it's not something people hear from me!

  8. #58
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Differences between the genders? I'm not really sure.

    I've never felt the need to get married and have kids. At this point, I would like to eventually settle down with some lady someday, but I'm not bothering to look for it (similar to what Recoleta said). Part of that is because, as she said, I don't feel I'm ready yet, and also because I don't think I would ever want the burden or be able to handle it.

    But then, I guess I feel similar to the males on this thread in that I want to find one lady and spend the rest of my life with her. I guess. Whether married or not doesn't much matter to me. Living together would be nice, though. And of course, she wouldn't displace everything else from my life.

    I would not want to settle down with someone I weren't ready to spend my whole life with, though. That desire to settle down doesn't override practicality. Well...love can skew your practicality, but you know what I mean. :blushing:
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  9. #59
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Did anyone else read the thread title as "ISTJ girls are crazy"?

    Because I agree.
    Wow, everytime I've read the dang thread title I thought it said that!

  10. #60
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Wow, everytime I've read the dang thread title I thought it said that!
    You need to concentrate not to feel through the thread titles

    I always misread the titles in the sex and mature forums, its a curse
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTJ] Why why why are ISTJ sooooo evasive?
    By GirlAmerica in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 12-14-2014, 08:02 PM
  2. [ISTJ] ISTJ's - What type are your parents?
    By swordpath in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 06-26-2010, 07:14 PM
  3. [ISTJ] ISTJs- How Many of you are sticklers for schedules?
    By IZthe411 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 07-31-2009, 12:32 AM
  4. [ISTJ] ISTJ- How do you know you are in love?
    By IZthe411 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 07-21-2009, 02:37 PM
  5. [ISTJ] ISTJs are they all in the can for Mc Cain?
    By hermeticdancer in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 11-12-2008, 01:54 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO