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  1. #1
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    Default will an ISFJ tell you she isn't interested?

    Hi all,

    I'm trying to figure out if this girl I've been hanging out with is just being nice and is not interested, or is being nice because she wants to become friendly first before becoming romantically involved or moving too fast.

    Are ISFJ's known to want to take things slow and make more informed decisions by getting to know someone first (even if that takes a long time)? Or are they more likely being "nice," not wanting to hurt any feelings, and and making things friendly with the hope that I get the picture?

    It's really tough reading her some times. She's not coming out and saying she's not interested. I sense that she is putting up some boundaries, but isn't coming right out and saying she isn't interested in me, even when I'm gushing all over her.

    How would an ISFJ let someone who is very and explicitly interested in them know that she is unavailable? Do ISFJ's really need to know a person inside out before they seriously date them?

    Thanks so much for any insight!

  2. #2
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by istar11 View Post
    Hi all,

    I'm trying to figure out if this girl I've been hanging out with is just being nice and is not interested, or is being nice because she wants to become friendly first before becoming romantically involved or moving too fast.

    Are ISFJ's known to want to take things slow and make more informed decisions by getting to know someone first (even if that takes a long time)? Or are they more likely being "nice," not wanting to hurt any feelings, and and making things friendly with the hope that I get the picture?

    It's really tough reading her some times. She's not coming out and saying she's not interested. I sense that she is putting up some boundaries, but isn't coming right out and saying she isn't interested in me, even when I'm gushing all over her.

    How would an ISFJ let someone who is very and explicitly interested in them know that she is unavailable? Do ISFJ's really need to know a person inside out before they seriously date them?

    Thanks so much for any insight!
    Give her a kiss on the lips. That should clarify any insecurities

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by professor goodstain View Post
    Give her a kiss on the lips. That should clarify any insecurities

  4. #4
    Widdles in your cream.
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    From experience, I think she is expecting you to make the first move. I remember my ISFJ saying that she doesn't initiate IM conversations in case the other person doesn't like her, so she waits for them to talk to her. As for signs of interest... online, they are sort of obvious, or I'm just sensitive to subtlety.This is purely from what I've learned, though.

    I think an ISFJ would probably avoid the situation entirely, rather than flat-out telling you they're not interested; "maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away."
    Um, yeah.

  5. #5
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    Nozflubber's Guide to ISFJ interest-status Inquiry-*

    Step1: Locate said ISFJ in Frank's nursery and craft

    Step2: Compliment the wonderful nylon butterflies she's working on! Super neat!

    Step3: Tell ISFJ victim about the wonderful cat that "you adopted"

    Step4: Talk about embroidery for 20 minutes.

    Step5: Smack her on the ass and invite her to come over for Disney movies...

    if she DOESN'T smack you in the face, you're in.



    *Warning: Noz's Inquiry Guide may lead to black eyes, bloody nose, and/or wasted chances in life.

  6. #6
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    haha, i don't know about that nozflubber, but there's some logic there. i just need to grow up.

  7. #7
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    Nozflubber's Guide to ISFJ interest-status Inquiry-*

    Step1: Locate said ISFJ in Frank's nursery and craft

    Step2: Compliment the wonderful nylon butterflies she's working on! Super neat!

    Step3: Tell ISFJ victim about the wonderful cat that "you adopted"

    Step4: Talk about embroidery for 20 minutes.

    Step5: Smack her on the ass and invite her to come over for Disney movies...

    if she DOESN'T smack you in the face, you're in.



    *Warning: Noz's Inquiry Guide may lead to black eyes, bloody nose, and/or wasted chances in life.
    ^LOL!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    From experience, I think she is expecting you to make the first move. I remember my ISFJ saying that she doesn't initiate IM conversations in case the other person doesn't like her, so she waits for them to talk to her. As for signs of interest... online, they are sort of obvious, or I'm just sensitive to subtlety.This is purely from what I've learned, though.

    I think an ISFJ would probably avoid the situation entirely, rather than flat-out telling you they're not interested; "maybe if I ignore him, he'll go away."
    This sounds quite accurate compared to my experiences. ISFJs tend to have a strong fear of rejection, and that might make them afraid of expressing their feelings in a fright of being turned down.

    But ISFJs are good in reading feelings.. but they constantly second guess themselves! So she might already know how you feel, but would be still very uncertain of it. She needs a confirmation on that. Usually several ones.

    Probably the only way to find out is just to talk about it... We IS_Js don't share too much on our own initiative!
    "The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine."
    -Nikola Tesla

  9. #9
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    [youtube=4eHqYtUDWio]YouTube - The Little Mermaid - Kiss the Girl[/youtube]

  10. #10
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    Everybody, regardless of MBTI type, will either tell you or show you, if they're not interested.
    If you think she's trying to show you but you can't interpret the signs, then simply ask her. You'll save you both lots of time and hurt feelings.

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