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Thread: NTs/NFs on SJs

  1. #51
    Senior Member batumi's Avatar
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    I am planning to marry an ISTJ very soon. One of the best things about him is that he is not a perfectionist like me. He is very tolerant and accepting.
    I appreciate his trustworthiness and steadfast nature. I love being with another introvert who can handle times of quiet and solitude, and who understands that I need those very much in life.
    When we have an issue to work through, he is able to do it without drama. He can handle criticism from me easily and is able to logically approach a relationship problem
    as something we need to work on. So I can sit down and discuss things with him and he
    doesn't bring all this draining emotion to the table.
    Life with him is very peaceful and stress-free.

  2. #52

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Here's a typical Saturday morning convo at our house (I'm married to an ESTJ btw):

    Hubby: What do you want to do today?
    Me: I don't know, what do you want to do?
    Hubby: Well, is there anything you need me to do?
    Me: I was thinking about planting some more flowers in the garden today.
    Hubby: I wasn't thinking about doing that today (grumbles for 5 seconds then cheers up) ... where do you want the holes in the garden? Do you need me to buy some mulch? How deep will you need the bed to be?
    Me: *answers questions, hubby then proceeds to execute plan*

    What is not to love about that? Honestly, it took me a few years to figure out that if I provide the plan, he will always be a partner in it. He's happy, I'm happy, we're all happy! (Please note though my hubby is not a robot and he CERTAINLY has an opinion about almost everything!)

    I love my SJ. He's not the most romantic guy, and we don't have daily deep or profound conversations, but he is always there for me - loyal, honest, straightforward, hard-working and dedicated.

    That's why I love you guys! I have many SJ friends too and I love that they are straight-shooters who say what they mean and mean what they say!

    So there!
    That is so cute. That's seriously what its all about, making plans work and making people happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Anyone that thinks SJs are only capable of being those horrid SJs we NTs rail about (including myself) is severely underestimating the enlightened ones. A great SJ can be a more interesting and spectacular person than the average NT. Often we refuse to even believe they are SJs, trying to push another type on them.


    Thank you. I couldn't agree more.
    "Being right too soon is socially unacceptable."
    -Robert A. Heinlein

  3. #53
    Member callmemigs's Avatar
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    I'm not generalizing but most SJ's I've met are annoying because they are such control-freaks!

  4. #54
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    Blackcat and FireyPhoenix - OK, I'll try to stop worrying so much about stating obvious things! I guess even if I did happen to say something slightly redundant only half of the people listening would notice it was redundant and most wouldn't really mind, so I'll work on loosening my filter a bit... :-D

  5. #55
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    NOTE: THIS THREAD IS FOR NTs AND NFs WHO ARE CURRENTLY WITH AN SJ NOT THOSE WHO ARE SEEKING TO BE WITH AN SJ OR OTHERWISE.

    What do you like about your SJ?

    I am curious because, beyond liking the SJ loyalty and sense of responsibility, it's hard for me to identify how Ns relate to SJs. I can see how SJs could like Ns but I can't see how the opposite works. Please help enlighten me.
    I like the SJs sense of pragmatism.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  6. #56
    Senior Member Azseroffs's Avatar
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    I live with my ESFJ grandmother and its unbelievable how closed minded she is..

    It sounds mean but I'm always arguing with her. Shes so illogical and clingy to what she believes no matter how much logical explanation goes against her. We have completely opposite views on almost every debatable topic.

    Generation differences, strong opinions, and completely opposite types (INTP vs ESFJ) makes for an argument at every word we speak to each other practically.
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  7. #57
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    Smile mmm...

    well, i see an ISFJ man, a few years ago, I would HAVE NEVA'


    but now I am in a different place. I agree that conversations just don't have the same oomph! that I get from another N, especially NF's, but I can get more of that from friends.

    What I really like about my SJ is ...
    --incredibly generous with me, helps me around the house,doesn't complain, just gets up and does it.
    --doesn't make me do everything alone. HE HELPS!!! What a blessing!
    --very kind and caring
    --isn't a wuss...he can cry, but he doesn't cave or wimp out when there is a confrontation to be taken care of
    --will stand up for me
    --won't allow others to take advantage of me, thank GOD!
    --loves my kids and has taken pains to include them in things. been a better role model than their own father(ouch!!)
    --is very expressive emotionally. I have previously known this type and they were very clingy, but this one has had a different life and career and he has been alone alot. really helped him develop. is a single, custodial parent as well.
    --wants me to do things for myself like massages, facials, etc...really wants me to be happy
    --very affectionate
    --loves to show me off to family, friends, public, proud to be with me
    --pays me very nice compliments that are truly from the heart
    --makes efforts every day, wow!!! he is a real gentleman
    --listens to me and doesn't tune me out(that can be a challenge, i know)
    --asks about MBTI and how it works- i am pretty good with a lot of psychological things due to whole life history- has helped him understand his son who is challenging him greatly right now
    --loyalty and honesty!! Just lovely
    --different chemistry but I am so glad I took a chance and he did too..it really is pleasant so far

  8. #58
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Wow, pecan. That just goes to show you that any two types can work out if they are both considerate enough and want it to work!

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Wow, pecan. That just goes to show you that any two types can work out if they are both considerate enough and want it to work!
    Yes, we both want it to work...we both do work at it..we value each other and our very different contributions to the relationship...It is wonderful to finally get to a place where each of us is hopefully mature enough to realize that we can truly appreciate our differences...we go slowly so we can really get to know each other....also, we possess key values that are similar and dedication to our partnership.

    man, i am so grateful to have met this man...i am careful not to idealize him and i ask him to do the same. i think we do a pretty good job of it by taking our time and communicating throughout...he does realize that it is the foundation of a relationship bec. if you can't communicate at all, you won't ever be able to truly resolve issues, and every one knows there will be issues at times...


    thanks for the opportunity to express my positive feelings about this situation...it was nice to be able to say such nice things about him...

  10. #60
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    ive been in a relationship with an isfj girl for 2 years now

    what i love about her is her level of empathy, the amount of caring/affection (a lot of which is physical), and she is very loyal

    i know she isnt intuitive like me but it doesnt bother me because i know that her s preference helps me in some way to deal with the real world. she is a bit of a neat freak though

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