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Thread: NTs/NFs on SJs

  1. #21
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    I've been dating an ESTJ for some years now, and I think she's awesome. We don't really conflict much at all, don't have many fights, basically because our internal systems and life expectations are aligned, which she follows to a T, and pushes me through my days. It's funny how it works, as if what she expects is ahead of her and she follows the path she trusts is right, while what motivates me is behind me and pushing me forward. I think because of that alignment it gives us an equal platform on which to share our lives, though I know if our expectations were different, we wouldn't really get along at all.

    She is great to me. She is really everything I want in a partner and romantic relationship. She's honestly my best friend and has grown to appreciate my quirky sides and humour. She makes me laugh, and she is the only person I feel safe with. I feel like there is no pressure from me to do anything but be devoted to her and our lives, and I love that. It's very refreshing to feel that someone is that devoted to me, that loyal to me, so much that all of my self-doubt is removed.

    I actually like going out to bars with her. I enjoy being out in public with her. She almost acts like my buffer between my guarded internal world and the terrifying social world around me. The strength of her personality is also refreshing. She won't ever pull any punches with me, and I love that honesty with her feelings that I can't really seem to pull off, and makes it easier for me to display. If something is wrong, she tells me [or her demeanor makes it so painfully obvious I ask until she spills], she never hides what she is thinking from me.

    She's just the best. Not sure how much of it is type related. I don't really think it's that important to be honest. It helps explain how she thinks sometimes, but it doesn't explain our connection and compatibility. That's all us, I think. I could be delusional, because this is an arena of my feelings that I don't really understand at all. But I don't really care if it's a delusion, because I'm having such a great time and so happy.

    I think I've reached my gushiness quota for the year with this post.
    Thank you for answering. I know it's not an easy thing to answer like this so I really appreciate it.

  2. #22
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just another ISTJ View Post
    Thanks for the explanation. I can certainly see where you're coming from. My response to your example would have been the same(barring the reproduction part). That wouldn't stop me from asking what your own thoughts were though out of geniune curiousity.
    I have no issue answering questions, but it gets annoying when it seems the conversation is one sided.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #23
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    You SJ's already know I love ya!

  4. #24
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    You SJ's already know I love ya!
    How do we know that? You could be a spy for the NF's!

  5. #25
    Senior Member blanclait's Avatar
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    INFP loves everyone. and everyone loves INFP.

    and besides. its ok if most NTs and NFs hates SJs guts. There' still more SJs than NT and NF put together.

  6. #26
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blanclait View Post
    INFP loves everyone. and everyone loves INFP.

    and besides. its ok if most NTs and NFs hates SJs guts. There' still more SJs than NT and NF put together.
    ^ I'm not so sure about that. I always thought there were more NF's than SJ's? There certainly are on these forums!

    And why must we "love" the INFP's? Even the ISTJ's?

  7. #27
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blanclait View Post
    INFP loves everyone. and everyone loves INFP.

    and besides. its ok if most NTs and NFs hates SJs guts. There' still more SJs than NT and NF put together.
    Yeah, I used to think that because the only INFPs I knew were already friends of mine with whom I happened to get along very well, but I've learned a little since then.

    INFPs have a nasty habit of being so incredibly conflict-avoidant that they'd rather let problems fester over months and months than actually bring them up and resolve them. Eventually they boil over and the result is far, far worse than it would have been if they'd simply had the balls to say there was a problem in the first place. God forbid they ever get into a confrontation about anything!


    At least you'll never get an entire year's worth of frustration/anger all condensed into one 30-minute argument with an ESTJ! This is one thing that I do appreciate about all ExTx types--you always know where you stand with them. If shit's not working out, they're gonna let you know up front so you can either resolve it or move on and stop wasting your time.

    INFPs also seem to have a nasty habit of assuming that everyone else understands feelings and emotional motivations just as well as they do. This can combine with their hilariously anti-confrontational personalities to result in some pretty ridiculous situations, where they've been bottling up problems for god knows how long and ludicrously expect you to have "just known" it was a problem. Oh, please! We're not all emotional empaths.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  8. #28
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Unhealthy INFPs tend to make a mess with their lives. Find a healthy one, they will talk stuff through with you and they will realize that it won't fix itself. I always talk things out with people, because I realize it will get worse like a wound that is unattended for.

    Okay, *tries to re-rail this thread* do you SJs want to ask us anything? Maybe you have having trouble bonding with an N type or something. Just ask away, we're here for a reason.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #29
    Senior Member Amira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I have no issue answering questions, but it gets annoying when it seems the conversation is one sided.
    One thing that I don't like about being an SJ is how much slower my thoughts organize into words. I know often I listen to N's talking about things, either with me or with other people, and it sets off all kinds of tangents in my head. But before I can say anything it automatically has to go through a filter of "Would they be interested in this? Is this an inanely obvious thing to say? And I should also include this..." etc. etc. It's frustrating! It's also irritating because I KNOW my face and eyes do not give away my thoughts and emotions well so people would have a hard time knowing how busy my brain is constantly.

  10. #30
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amira View Post
    One thing that I don't like about being an SJ is how much slower my thoughts organize into words. I know often I listen to N's talking about things, either with me or with other people, and it sets off all kinds of tangents in my head. But before I can say anything it automatically has to go through a filter of "Would they be interested in this? Is this an inanely obvious thing to say? And I should also include this..." etc. etc. It's frustrating! It's also irritating because I KNOW my face and eyes do not give away my thoughts and emotions well so people would have a hard time knowing how busy my brain is constantly.
    I never really looked at it that way, my mind is always racing with ideas and linking things together. If you went ahead and spoke your mind then you would be participating in the conversation, even if it's obvious us intuitives often miss what is right in front of our noses because we have our heads up in the clouds. Most of my little problems come from someone leaving some detail out.

    The worst that could happen if it was inanely obvious would be us saying this: "Well yeah, obviously." But I'd say in a much less blunt way, I'm sure you get what I mean. I honestly like someone who I know is listening, so even if you mention something that is inanely obvious then I will be happy in knowing you are listening. If it isn't so obvious then it will give us one of those "Aha!" moments when we realize our missing piece from the idea.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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