Edit: Habba, also realize that we're sensotards most of the time (at least I am). I'm oblivious that people stare at me, unless I have reason to notice and then I can see it even if they're trying to hide it. But I rarely have a reason to do so. People are gonna stare at me anyways, coz I'm an oddball..why waste energy on noticing such trivial things?
Never had a problem with that, but maybe that's a cultural thing. Sometimes it is true, that you just see a guy as a friend, coz frankly..the chemistry just aint there. Also happened for me, that the chemistry was there and he was a great guy..but something was off. As much as I wouldn't mind sleeping with him, I didn't see a future with him (differences on values, basic incompatibility etc). And with my current boyfriend, I at first didn't have chemistry the first moment I met him, till he started talking...I fell head over heels.
Your scenario puts us at a disatvantage... you guys are already way ahead of us, as you've been observing. The moment you actually make 'contact' is the moment we start our deliberation process..and then I'm sorry, you'll just have to be patient while we collect data