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  1. #1
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Red face ISTJ-ENFP Relationship Starter (Help!)

    As many of you know, as an ISTJ, my social skills SUCK :

    I have been alone for about 8 years and even before then, I never really had any romantic relationship. I have been told I can be very "charming" to girls, but have not been able to get them to agree to a date.

    A girl from school just randomly "friended" me started messaging me on facebook and I think she may be an ENFP (), we have had great conversations in the last week and she said she would "love" it if I showed her my pictures from over-seas sometime. She is also telling me all the time that she "loves" to watch movies and go to the movies. She said she had a problem with spending way too much time on homework and not enough time having fun. What does this mean? It sounds like an invitation to ask her out to me!

    The problem is that every time I propose lunch or dinner or something she comes up with a reason it will not work out. I do not want to annoy her. Iam very confused and it seems like all I can do now is wait. I REALLY hate to wait... are there any alternatives? How long should I wait? Would it be wrong of me to assume she is not interested if I don't hear anything after a few days? :confused:

    This whole thing has put me into ISTJ crisis mode or something. It's a feeling I don't think I have every felt before. Almost like watching a suspense movie with the feelings of uncertainty. I didn't even sleep well last night! I found it very difficult to concentrate on a machine I had to put together at work the other day. It was an expensive machine and I would have been held liable too if it broke.

    People have said I worry too much about some things, but I never thought it would get to this point. Feeling this way can't be normal nor can it be healthy, right? What the heck is wrong with me? Any ideas of how I can get this worry off my mind? Perhaps it just takes time to forget it.

    Sorry I made this so long.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
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    She's probably ESFJ like beat's person of interest.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    What reason do you have for this Jack??!!
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    What reason do you have for this Jack??!!
    First and foremost, I don't believe I've never seen an SJ type anyone successfully (Except themselves, about 60% of the time).

    Additionally, if one's "known-type" environment is this message board, which wouldn't be ususual, it would be easy for think that someone who's friendly and outgoing in the real world is ENFP, because that correllation is predominant here.

  5. #5
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Well, I have typed people pretty succesfully in the real world. I also discussed this person with someone else who is alot better than me at typing and they agree that she is probably ENFP. Could be wrong though. Is it really relevant as to what I should do though?
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Oh commeon I think that is underestimating the SJ typing skills... If he says ENFP we have to say innocent until proven guilty I think you have it in for ENFP/ISTJ relations! Anyways IF she was an ENFP... in a preted wolrd what would your advice to him be??
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Well, I have typed people pretty succesfully in the real world. I also discussed this person with someone else who is alot better than me at typing and they agree that she is probably ENFP. Could be wrong though. Is it really relevant as to what I should do though?
    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    Oh commeon I think that is underestimating the SJ typing skills... If he says ENFP we have to say innocent until proven guilty I think you have it in for ENFP/ISTJ relations! Anyways IF she was an ENFP... in a preted wolrd what would your advice to him be??
    I do "have it in." I think the affection (whether mutual or no) is misplaced, based on misconceptions that will fall apart over time, resulting in a situation where there's absolutely nothing you like about each other.

    I guess you can consider that my advice.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    WOW Jack?!!! I have significantly more optimistic advice! ENFP/ISTJ pairings CAN work and I think that what you have here is a bit of ENFP indecisiveness... I mean how long have you been waiting already cos if it's not like a couple of months to the enfp you've only just began to arrange something!
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  9. #9
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Wow, that doesn't sound very promising Jack! But thanks for the advice anyway. Wild what if you were in this situation...as the girl? I know it's not fair to ask and there are many variables, but I need to guess at what she is thinking. It must be because I have that bad impulse to brace myself for worst the case scenario. I feel like an idiot!
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    OK you have to make sure that there is no other explanation for her comments ie she could have been genuinely THAT enthused about movies... Also you have to make sure that you don't say anything that could provoke her into saying, "Oh yea the movies would be great some time" Cos some time in those circumstances usually means no time... She could just be curious about you in general not necessarily romantically... NOW PLEASE don't get disheartened by my message cos I wanna help and we have to cover all bases (Your an ISTJ so I know you understand) Right so to make sure that none of the above is true message her again have some conversation but dont suggest doing anything at all... If she suggests it again then she is interested and is just being ditsy and flaking out over commiting to a time and place... typical ENFP and one thing your sooo gonna have to swallow cos we are always like that and never gonna change hope it helps sweet ISTJ
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

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