[MBTI General] ISTJ-ENFP Relationship Starter (Help!)

[Wild horses]

LOL it does seem like more and more ISTJs with this particualr hobby are coming out of the woodwork!

 

[d@v3]

If I can't have my ENFP, no one shouldn't!

^LOL! Did an ISTJ just use a double negative?! What has the world come to?!

Your right Habba, this probably won't work out, but all I want is ONE date, just ONE chance, if I can't have that, then neither of us will ever know. And if it doesn't feel right, I have no problem just being friends. However, you are also right about the ENFP's... they are warm, fuzzy, and all the time nice to us... how do they NOT expect to be pursued? That's like an invitation to an ISTJ!

Yes, Wild, she has a very big and warm smile that seems to chase all the evil ISTJ feelings of negativity away.... at least until we leave eachothers presence! But can you elaborate a little more the only child note you posted I do not completely understand what you mean. You don't think she is interested because of her parents?

I like what you said Amargtih: "If you keep her safe from the world, she'll gladly entertain while showing you that same world in a way you've never imagined. " <- that is EXACTLY what I'm looking for.

And yes, we are on the prowl for you ENFP's ALL the time 24/7... fortunately we can spot you a mile away and plan our first move accordingly!
That is, unless your sitting on the bench when you first open the door to the building.... then we end up walking the wrong way...

 

[Amargith]

That is, unless your sitting on the bench when you first open the door to the building.... then we end up walking the wrong way...

Lmao

 

[swordpath]

Seriously, is there an ISTJ here that doesn't hunt ENFPs in his spare time?

Nope.

 

[d@v3]

Lmao

You ENFP's have certainly mastered the art of sneaking up on people... at least on us poor SJ's.

 

[Lady_X]

i really do think in the long run it's harder on the istj's ...because you can't help but want a little order...and to have expectations and be disappointed when things don't go as planned...and we just are not wired this way...we just do things our own way...and expect total acceptance and freedom to do so...you'll get it in return...and we can deal with you the way you are...even think it's cute...but we won't ever change.

still sound good? ahhh...haha sorry.

 

[Siegfried]

If I can't have my ENFP, no one shouldn't!

Lol, hehe. I think it sounds a good team, each has unique strengths that can help and support each other. D@v3 you should keep trying, not everything can be foreseen.

 

[d@v3]

i really do think in the long run it's harder on the istj's ...because you can't help but want a little order...and to have expectations and be disappointed when things don't go as planned...and we just are not wired this way...we just do things our own way...and expect total acceptance and freedom to do so...you'll get it in return...and we can deal with you the way you are...even think it's cute...but we won't ever change.

still sound good? ahhh...haha sorry.

But I don't want her to change. I like her the way she is... at least, I think I do... that is why I want to get to know her more [by dating] and if it turns out that she is not what I'm looking for, and/or if I'm not what she is looking for, then I have no problem with being friends.

Like I said, all I want is ONE chance [date]..... and so far, it's not looking too promising that she will give that to me.

What is a poor guy to do but keep trying? It's not like she has told me "yes, I'm interested" or "I'm sorry, I'm not interested, let's just be friends". All I can do is guess as to what she is thinking.


..... and Siegfried, I don't even think Raz has posted on this thread yet? lol

 

[Siegfried]

But I don't want her to change. I like her the way she is... at least, I think I do... that is why I want to get to know her more [by dating] and if it turns out that she is not what I'm looking for, and/or if I'm not what she is looking for, then I have no problem with being friends.

Like I said, all I want is ONE chance [date]..... and so far, it's not looking too promising that she will give that to me.

What is a poor guy to do but keep trying? It's not like she has told me "yes, I'm interested" or "I'm sorry, I'm not interested, let's just be friends". All I can do is guess as to what she is thinking.


..... and Siegfried, I don't even think Raz has posted on this thread yet? lol

Yes you are right, I'm becoming retarded.... One chance to talk sounds a good thing. Maybe if you don't make it seem like a date, somewhere inbetween, sounds a good way. What have you guessed she is thinking? A hunch might still help for now.

 

[Lady_X]

yeah...you never know.

 

[d@v3]

Yes you are right, I'm becoming retarded.... One chance to talk sounds a good thing. Maybe if you don't make it seem like a date, somewhere inbetween, sounds a good way. What have you guessed she is thinking?

I can't just tell her that bluntly though because then she will think I have something else up my sleeve!

Maybe this sounds dumb but I am worried because I have to initiate all the texting conversations... (she never texts me first)... but once I say hi or something we can talk forever... or usually until she gets busy or falls asleep or something and stops responding. For example:

Yesterday I was at the gym and I sent her a text saying "I hope you had a good day!" or something like that, and she responds to me that she is under the covers because she is very cold.... now what am I supposed to say to that?! The conversation ended up with me saying I hoped that she was keeping warm and she said "thanks im trying my best!" I asked her if she was watching a movie too but I never got a response. so i texted her a little while later and said "ill take that as a no" with a wink.

^the above example confuses me alot because it makes me feel like she is trying to decide whether or not she is interested in me... and I can't tell... so it drives me up the wall crazy! Although, I'm 99% sure it's just me overreacting.

I'm sure she is completly innocent (well, let's face it, NO ENFP is COMPLETLY innocent ) but in this case, I'm sure she is completely oblvious as to how much she confuses me....and I think it should stay that way, for now.

 

[Wild horses]

LOL Is the comment she made in her text really that bizarre!?!? Now it's you that's confusing me.. I have sent such a text to people?! Ooophs

 

[d@v3]

LOL Is the comment she made in her text really that bizarre!?!? Now it's you that's confusing me.. I have sent such a text to people?! Ooophs

lol I sat there trying to disect her encrypted message while in a gym full of other guys that I didn't know.. I was considering asking them but.... that would have been a LITTLE awkward.

How am I the one being confusing?! I'm the innocent victim here! Stop trying to turn the tables on me Wild!

And what did you mean earlier about your "only child" note/post? I did not fully understand that.

 

[Wild horses]

Hee hee!! ecrypted message!? lolol Oh what i meant was that she prob does really like you and her "I'm with my family" excuses are in fact genuine and so it was a positive message for you!

 

[Lady_X]

and wild was saying...she's filling the role of many children or something...like she's just trying to make everyone feel important and she's the only one who can do it...there are no other siblings to fill the role...i know that if i were the only child i would feel inclined to spend a lot more time with my mother...that's what you meant...right wild?

 

[d@v3]

Hee hee!! ecrypted message!? lolol Oh what i meant was that she prob does really like you and her "I'm with my family" excuses are in fact genuine and so it was a positive message for you!

Well there HAD to be a hidden message in there somewhere!? I mean who says that? Her message wasn't exactly in layments.. [or SJ]... terms! So I sat there thinking "oh no! what does she want me to say?!" ... all while in a public gym with "large" guys which appeared to be ex-prisoners who wanted to do me harm. yikes!

I'm glad you think that, but still.... I can't compete with her family... nor would I want to! To force her to make that decision would be VERY mean in my opinion and I would not want someone to do that to me! So what is a poor SJ to do? Like right now... I am not sure if I should text her or not because she has still not responded to my text from yesterday. I'm not even sure if she got it.

 

[d@v3]

and wild was saying...she's filling the role of many children or something...like she's just trying to make everyone feel important and she's the only one who can do it...there are no other siblings to fill the role...i know that if i were the only child i would feel inclined to spend a lot more time with my mother...that's what you meant...right wild?

She did say she spent ALOT of time with her family.... and she has a weekly lunch with her grandma. But why? Wouldn't they feel relieved that there is no more kids to worry about?

You know.. I just thought... what if she was online and read this?! I would be DEAD... like... drop out of that school and quit my job dead. Surely I have given enough information for someone like her to figure it out... especially with my strategic screenname!

It could be ANY of you ENFP's and neither of us know it!

 

[Wild horses]

Show that family means alot to you too and that you understand the pressure that she is under.. Maybe if you are in the role of someone who will share the burden not add to it?? Just a suggestion? Also perhaps if you got to know her family a little bit.. But then that mite be too much for you I'm not sure however, the love of family that most of the ISTJs have for family is one reason why I love them so

 

[d@v3]

Show that family means alot to you too and that you understand the pressure that she is under.. Maybe if you are in the role of someone who will share the burden not add to it?? Just a suggestion? Also perhaps if you got to know her family a little bit.. But then that mite be too much for you I'm not sure however, the love of family that most of the ISTJs have for family is one reason why I love them so

I've always wondered why I was so protective of my family (especially my sisters) it must come with the ISTJ package!

But I don't know her family... I didn't even "know" her until last November.... and we just started talking three weeks ago!... it's not that it would be too much for me, it's just that I wouldn't know where to start!

 

[Wild horses]

AWWW... Well like you could just do it really subtly.. ask her a bit about her family say how you feel about yours... she may open up a bit about it.. ask her what it's like to be an only child?? Show her that you care just say that you think the relationship between her and them is really important and if she blows you off because of them say that you understand...