UMMM yea I know what you mean... But I'm just saying that this is the best way to avoid going on a 'date' with an ENFP that she doesn't actually realise she's on... That has actually happened to me Trust me be a bit distant if she really does like you she will use her powers to get you to ask her out...
Well, we both have a mutual friend, well, sort of. More her friend than mine and I havn't talked to the mutual friend in quite a while (1yr+?) I was thinking of consulting her. I don't know how that would play out and I don't exactly know what to say. But I'm afraid if I do that too soon, it would make things worst. The problem I have is waiting... I don't know how long to wait in these situations.. and in the past, waiting has only accomplished nothing... just an opportunity lost. Should i wait a week? a month? 2 months? before consulting the mutual friend? Or maybe just forget about the mutual friend alltogether?
you can plan a date...that's not a big deal...just tell her you'd like to go hang out sometime and that she should call you.
How long do I wait before I just forget about it? A week? A month? It's hard for an ISTJ just to say "call me sometime" as there is no real commitment to for the person to call... it's open ended. They could call a year from now, or they could call an hour from now....
Been married to the same ISTJ for almost 43 years now and I can be pretty ENFP at times. But I think my suggestions would apply to nearly anyone.
The secret is that there's no rules to follow unless she gives you one, which she would be wise to do if she's into personality types. So, if you do connect, you could ask, "Would you please let me know within a week?" etc.
None of us can read each other's mind so trying to guess her motivation is an exercise in futility.
My approach to getting to know people better is straightforward. Although it took some practice at first. I just tell them I like them and would they like to spend time together. This is a bit of a set-up for a blow to the ego so you gotta have a little self-esteem going for you if you use this approach. But it clears the air immediately and neither party ends up playing a guessing game. Or invests a lot of time dancing about trying to read the others' mind.
I just figure people know what works for them in relationships and I can't expect everyone to want to be my friend. It doesn't mean they're hostile, which this woman obviously isn't. Just means that they don't think our personalities are a good fit. I can accept that without a stab to the heart.
So just saying what you'd like doesn't seem unreasonable since she's already chatty and friendly.
"I'd like to go out with you. Do you think we could work out a time and date that will work for us?" Like that. Although I'm sure there are some kinda unspoken rules for this generation of dating folks where you can present that invitation kewl-like. You'll have to get suggestions from others about the language to use.
Try to encourage as much open and honest talk as you can about your mutual expectations of each other.
"No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer
I think erinavery had sound advice that she gave me a little while back:
A lot of times there is a strong initial attraction with ENFP/ISTJ but in the long run there are going to be some significant hurdles in communication and understanding. I haven't been in a romatic relationship with an ENFP but I have a good female friend that's ENFP and I can see how this could be...