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  1. #231
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    How do you know what we are afraid to say if we don't say it? Is that another manipulative trick?!

    So the keyword above is "MOST" ENFP's have the core values...

    GREAT, how do I brace myself for THIS impact?! How do I get myself into these situations? I should just go back to the snow thread where I belong!
    LOL, just talk to her and see what she believes in. She should reveal her core values pretty easily, we're usually passionate about them

    And...I dunno, I can't explain really how we know. It's not like we have a crystal ball (well, I do, but that's besides the point) or something, and that we're always gonna notice/never gonna be wrong, but something just...feels off when you're avoiding a subject. Often the mood you're trying to project (calm and in control) feels false, and the mood underneath ( sad, happy, however that thing you're hiding from us is influencing you) will be visible and clearly different from the one you're trying to project

    You don't brace yourself for it. You remember that she's an NF and likes you and is very likely not to ever intentionally harm you. And you trust her to handle your heart with care

    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I think it's rather hard to get full attention from ENFPs. They are so used to be with people, especially extroverts, that they might not fully understand what introverts need when they need for attention.

    Then again, they are NF, and they know everything!

    But now I'll help myself out. Need to be at work in less than 8 hours... Not very SJ to stay awake so late, now is it? This is me being a rebel!

    If we're distracted, we sometimes don't fully pick up on how strong a need is. If you tell us that this is something that's important to you though, we will make the time and give you our full attention. NF's don't know everything, but we do like to look all mysterious and all-knowing

    Sweet dreams, sweety
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #232
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    LOL, just talk to her and see what she believes in. She should reveal her core values pretty easily, we're usually passionate about them

    And...I dunno, I can't explain really how we know. It's not like we have a crystal ball (well, I do, but that's besides the point) or something, and that we're always gonna notice/never gonna be wrong, but something just...feels off when you're avoiding a subject. Often the mood you're trying to project (calm and in control) feels false, and the mood underneath ( sad, happy, however that thing you're hiding from us is influencing you) will be visible and clearly different from the one you're trying to project

    You don't brace yourself for it. You remember that she's an NF and likes you and is very likely not to ever intentionally harm you. And you trust her to handle your heart with care




    If we're distracted, we sometimes don't fully pick up on how strong a need is. If you tell us that this is something that's important to you though, we will make the time and give you our full attention. NF's don't know everything, but we do like to look all mysterious and all-knowing

    Sweet dreams, sweety
    You have a crystal ball?! That means you can TELL ME WHAT WILL HAPPEN! So I don't have to worry anymore!

    And I don't know if she likes me or not... I mean.... I'm pretty sure she likes me...I mean... well you know what I mean! I don't know if she "LiKeS" me.

    I didn't know I even had a heart until I saw her! (After all, i AM and SJ!)How can I trust her with it?!

    I can't just waltz up to her and say " I trust you with my heart" because, well, that would probably scare her off permanently and she would probably call the cops on me too for harrassment.

    Do I just ask her bluntly "what are you core values?" that's not exactly the romantic gushy stuff you ENFP's like... but it's simple enough for me to understand.

    So you pick the feeling that is the opposite of what we are trying to project? Maybe I should try that on her! ... actually... I would get smacked in the face because there is a 99% chance I would be wrong... so scratch that idea.

    And there is no way to brace yourself? It sounds very risky to me as ISTJ's don't handle dissapointments well. I am very nervous about this meeting tomorrow...and of course, I'm the keynote ..... but she will be there and I was thinking about approaching her after and trying to talk to her. If I look over at her though I am afraid I will start blushing and smiling and then bad things could happen.

    I randomly asked her if she was smiling last night (via text message) and she said she was always smiling. Then I apologized for asking and said I didn't know why I asked and that I was embarrassed and put a sad face in the text. She said it was ok and I shouldn't be and that it made her smile more.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #233
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    LOL, right, lemme see if I can put this in SJ-language

    You don't have to tell her you trust her with your heart. You just do. The fact that she likes you, even as a friend, means she's unlikely to want to hurt you. Hell, even as a stranger she's unlikely to want to hurt you and take extra care not to if she's NF.

    Now, I cannot take away your insecurity about rejection. Rejection is just part of the game of Love unfortunately. But I can tell you that she'll not relish in rejecting you and she's prolly gonna feel real guilty if she needs to do so.

    As for her core values, just get her talking about what she loves..which with an ENFP, shouldn't be that hard. Ask her about her hobbies, her passions, and notice what she considers important. What's her policy on lying? On cheating? On tolerance? Is she extremely sensitive to animal cruelty? Or is it kids that hold a soft spot in her heart? Etc etc

    And we don't pick up on the feeling that's opposite, we pick up on the feeling you're projecting through bodylanguage, tone of voice, the look in your eyes, etc. And if there is no feeling coz you surpress it so hard that we cannot get a read...we get confused and sometimes paranoid. Are you hiding something? Are you not enjoying your time with us? It's like being blind to an ENFP

    As for tomorrow, focus on the task at hand, and let your hormones flutter afterwards At least you can prepare that part. Allow her to take care of the rest, aka your personal meeting. Relax, be yourself, and just react to what's going on
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #234
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    LOL, right, lemme see if I can put this in SJ-language

    You don't have to tell her you trust her with your heart. You just do. The fact that she likes you, even as a friend, means she's unlikely to want to hurt you. Hell, even as a stranger she's unlikely to want to hurt you and take extra care not to if she's NF.

    Now, I cannot take away your insecurity about rejection. Rejection is just part of the game of Love unfortunately. But I can tell you that she'll not relish in rejecting you and she's prolly gonna feel real guilty if she needs to do so.

    As for her core values, just get her talking about what she loves..which with an ENFP, shouldn't be that hard. Ask her about her hobbies, her passions, and notice what she considers important. What's her policy on lying? On cheating? On tolerance? Is she extremely sensitive to animal cruelty? Or is it kids that hold a soft spot in her heart? Etc etc

    And we don't pick up on the feeling that's opposite, we pick up on the feeling you're projecting through bodylanguage, tone of voice, the look in your eyes, etc. And if there is no feeling coz you surpress it so hard that we cannot get a read...we get confused and sometimes paranoid. Are you hiding something? Are you not enjoying your time with us? It's like being blind to an ENFP

    As for tomorrow, focus on the task at hand, and let your hormones flutter afterwards At least you can prepare that part. Allow her to take care of the rest, aka your personal meeting. Relax, be yourself, and just react to what's going on
    LOL I asked her if she has ever hit any critters with her car and she said "NO! AND I WOULD FEEL TERRIBLE IF I DID! I would probably stop driving!" I thought she was going to jump out of the phone and strangle me for asking! yikes! So apparently she likes the little animals. lol. How do you feel about them Amargith? I have my assumptions, but please, do tell!

    As for the meeting, well, let's put it this way, I'll be happy when it's over. I have spent tonight putting the agenda together and it should last about an hour. So you think it would be wise to approach her after? Assuming she does not run away before I can get to her? HAHA Relax?! LOL! Yeah right!

    I'm pretty sure ENFP's can see right through me, I'm not THAT much of an SJ. I find it hard to keep a straight face when being funny...and I tend to joke alot and be humorous.

    KIDS?! Dare I say such a word while in her vascinity?!
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #235
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    LOL I asked her if she has ever hit any critters with her car and she said "NO! AND I WOULD FEEL TERRIBLE IF I DID! I would probably stop driving!" I thought she was going to jump out of the phone and strangle me for asking! yikes! So apparently she likes the little animals. lol. How do you feel about them Amargith? I have my assumptions, but please, do tell!

    As for the meeting, well, let's put it this way, I'll be happy when it's over. I have spent tonight putting the agenda together and it should last about an hour. So you think it would be wise to approach her after? Assuming she does not run away before I can get to her? HAHA Relax?! LOL! Yeah right!

    I'm pretty sure ENFP's can see right through me, I'm not THAT much of an SJ. I find it hard to keep a straight face when being funny...and I tend to joke alot and be humorous.

    KIDS?! Dare I say such a word while in her vascinity?!
    I wouldn't know why you wouldn't talk to her afterwards...except for the amount of stress it might cause you on top of what you just had If she relaxes you though, it's even better.

    I care a lot about animals yes. Do you mind ENFP's being able to read you a little bit? As for the kids-thing, don't tell her you want her to carry your children just yet But keep an ear out, if she likes to work with kids or when you see her interacting with one, you should be able to tell if she has a soft spot for them
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #236
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I wouldn't know why you wouldn't talk to her afterwards...except for the amount of stress it might cause you on top of what you just had If she relaxes you though, it's even better.

    I care a lot about animals yes. Do you mind ENFP's being able to read you a little bit? As for the kids-thing, don't tell her you want her to carry your children just yet But keep an ear out, if she likes to work with kids or when you see her interacting with one, you should be able to tell if she has a soft spot for them
    I don't mind them reading me at all .... well.... maybe a LITTLE bit. *pictures himself hooked up to a polygraph*

    and ENFP's tend to be the only one's who CAN calm me down... if I go on a rant at the snowplow for going too slow, if an ENFP grabs my hand it's like an instant mood changer. Yes, ENFP's truly can distract me from almost anything Iam doing. I don't know why?

    LOL! If I said that to her about the kids, it would be INSTANT SLAP ACROSS FACE ENFP OWNAGE and that would ruin my WEEK... not to mention any chance I MIGHT have had with her. LOL
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #237
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    I have a question... how easily do ENFPs change their mind about someone? I mean, if an ENFP begins to dislike somebody, is his/her opinion subject to change after a while? ENFPs are popular bunch, and as such have no need to forgive people. But then again, they are people-person and likes everyone around them...

  8. #238
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    well...trying not to speak for all of them which i so often do...unintentionally...sorry bout that but...i am very forgiving. i honestly just accept people as they are...but learning something about someone that i know doesn't jive well with my beliefs or values will just make me put a limit on the type of relationship we'll have but i can still be friends with someone...just maybe not as close as we would be otherwise.

    are you talking romantically? or just friends?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #239
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    well...trying not to speak for all of them which i so often do...unintentionally...sorry bout that but...i am very forgiving. i honestly just accept people as they are...but learning something about someone that i know doesn't jive well with my beliefs or values will just make me put a limit on the type of relationship we'll have but i can still be friends with someone...just maybe not as close as we would be otherwise.

    are you talking romantically? or just friends?

    +1
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  10. #240
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    are you talking romantically? or just friends?
    Mayhaps romantically.

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