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  1. #201
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    oh...was it the flirting in a friendly way?
    by that i just meant...i'm more sweet and playful...not overtly sexual in my flirting style like some people might be.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #202
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    i'm not subtle...i intended to say the opposite. i said i let it be clear when i liked someone...how did you get subtlety out of that. i'm the girl that will say...i like you. i want to hang out more...i'm not subtle at all.
    Sorry Erin, I didn't mean to quote your post on my last post regarding subtley. I guess that's what happens when getting bombarded with ENFP's in one little thread!....but like I always say, the more ENFP's the better.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #203
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Dave, I'm not talking about the dates. You're right, in order to figure out the rest, you should be able to spend time together, whether it be casual, or on a date. Just tell her that you enjoy her company and would like to see more of her. And suggest a date and activity..and hopefully she'll accept or otherwise give you a good explanation
    Wait, what was I right about? Oh, the dating thing? But the problem is, I cannot tell her that because I never get to see her.... well... I did the other day but we all know how that went over. We are always texting eachother instead. Yes, so far she has given me very plausible explanations for not being able to go out... along with an apology that it "didn't work out". At this point, I don't even mind being casual, I would just like to spend SOME time with her and see how we interact with eachother.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #204
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    oh...was it the flirting in a friendly way?
    by that i just meant...i'm more sweet and playful...not overtly sexual in my flirting style like some people might be.
    Sorry for the triple post, but I'm trying to keep up! Anyway, your right Erin, I wouldn't mind what you are describing at all. The sweet innocent playful type of flirting.

    There is an SJ line (or even "social line" dare I say) that cannot be crossed in public. For example: If an ENFP... or any girl I was dating decided to start taking my pants off in public or something like that... the line has been crossed to the point of no return... I would be so embarrassed I wouldn't know what to do. BUT if we were uhhhhh... what is that word you FP's use.... "cuddling"? on the couch I wouldn't mind.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #205
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    A friend of mine told me once: "There's always time for what you consider important. Not having time is just an another way to say 'it's not important enough'".

    Have you considered that possibility? Do you ENFPs have hard time being "mean" to other people? As I see, you are friendly to people around you, and thus you might not want to make someone "sad" by rejecting them.

    Couple of NFs have done this to me... After dozens of plausible explanations, I forced the issue, and got finally the real answer.

  6. #206
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    A friend of mine told me once: "There's always time for what you consider important. Not having time is just an another way to say 'it's not important enough'".

    Have you considered that possibility? Do you ENFPs have hard time being "mean" to other people? As I see, you are friendly to people around you, and thus you might not want to make someone "sad" by rejecting them.

    Couple of NFs have done this to me... After dozens of plausible explanations, I forced the issue, and got finally the real answer.
    I admit, it does happen. I tend to keep the connection superficial then and not contact them, but let them contact me. Those are the only two clues, I'd say. Other than that, you'd notice the bond not deepening. It's not that I don't like them, or that I don't want to be friends, but it's a way of sending a signal.
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  7. #207
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    A friend of mine told me once: "There's always time for what you consider important. Not having time is just an another way to say 'it's not important enough'".

    Have you considered that possibility? Do you ENFPs have hard time being "mean" to other people? As I see, you are friendly to people around you, and thus you might not want to make someone "sad" by rejecting them.

    Couple of NFs have done this to me... After dozens of plausible explanations, I forced the issue, and got finally the real answer.
    I have considered this time and again. I guess it wouldn't bother me as much if I knew whether or not I was fighting a losing battle. However, I have found that forcing the issue pushes them away permanently. WH was trying to explain this to me the other night.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #208
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Yeah, I think that's the one point that annoys me in the ENFP. I'm a person who has only few friends, and I like to keep them close. I hate superficial relationships. If the other person has nothing to give me, is nothing special or is irrelevant to my life, I ignore him/her. I want to make a clear line who's with me, and who isn't.

    ENFPs won't fit into this kind of classification, and if I'm trying to force them to choose sides, they'll be running away. I want clear relationships with people! This means not hanging out with people that aren't my friends.

  9. #209
    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    Yeah, I think that's the one point that annoys me in the ENFP. I'm a person who has only few friends, and I like to keep them close. I hate superficial relationships. If the other person has nothing to give me, is nothing special or is irrelevant to my life, I ignore him/her. I want to make a clear line who's with me, and who isn't.

    ENFPs won't fit into this kind of classification, and if I'm trying to force them to choose sides, they'll be running away. I want clear relationships with people! This means not hanging out with people that aren't my friends.
    You sound like me. I don't have a lot of friends either and the ones I do have, they stay close. My ENFP friend is the closest/best by far out of all of them.I don't know if I will ever get used to responding to him when he says things like "dude that new song from Taylor Swift is the best!".... I mean, that IS a little radical for me..... (and no, he's not gay). But there has never been any doubts in our loyalty as friends and we always have gotten along with eachother. If either are upset with eachother, we make ammends rapidly and by the next day or two, are laughing at what happened.

    Anyway, I don't mind hanging out with people who aren't my friends. However, if they make me mad or stress me out or something, you can bet your bottom dollar that I won't be around for long.

    Once I make a close friend, it is almost impossible for me to "disown" them or turn on them. I would have to have a REALLY good reason for doing so... and I expect the same from them. Loyalty is very big for me... not sure why.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #210
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    Once I make a close friend, it is almost impossible for me to "disown" them or turn on them. I would have to have a REALLY good reason for doing so... and I expect the same from them. Loyalty is very big for me... not sure why.
    A funny thing that I noticed in myself, is that I'm pretty incapable of 'downgrading' relationships. That means that I couldn't live with "Couldn't we just be friends?". The same goes for friendships too. I won't be changing my "best friend" on a weekly basis.

    Loyalty and reliability are probably the two most important factor for me. If I'm not sure whether the other person can be trusted with a secret, a personal confession, a critical task to be done or a verbal treaty, I'm not going to waste my time.

    Reliability comes in many forms. It's just not about keeping a secret, but also ability to pay one's debt in time, and prioritizing personal life so that one can keep the promises given.

    I have a friend who wouldn't consciously betray me, but is unable to arrange his finances so that he could pay me his debt. And if we agree on something, he's not willing to sacrifice much to keep this commitment.

    I think this all comes from dominant Si. My willingness to grab onto what is solid, stable and familiar, and my habit of shunning what is unreliable, undefined and absurd. I'm confident once I feel the steady rock beneath my feet.

    And this is why I love the ENFP. They are the complete opposite. How can they feel safe without the steady rock? I'm eager to find out and learn from them. And perhaps that's what I'm looking in a relationship. Something to be learned.

    Thank you all for reading this random post.

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