User Tag List

View Poll Results: Selifsh ISFJ?

Voters
45. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, I have seen one.

    33 73.33%
  • No, I know one or more ISFJs and they never act selfishly.

    7 15.56%
  • Maybe

    5 11.11%
First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 62

  1. #21
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Not speaking for myself, this is what I have experienced from the ISFJs I know. One of them I'm sure she must feel selfish sometimes and she does on occasion hint at being discontented with something but it's hardly noticeable because she immediately downplays those feelings or dismisses them. She also seems very happy for the most part.
    The feelings are still there, though.

    And if an ISFJ is in a situation where they're constantly getting the short end of the stick, the stress will get too much. Traditionally, they are the type most able to put nose-to-grindstone, head in the trenches, and plow on without complaint through thick and thin, snow and rain.

    It doesn't mean they're able to maintain that, though, depending on the circumstances. Eventually they WILL wear down. Also, sometimes anger at others is deflected into anger at self. It's still selfishness, because it's refusing to allow themselves to be a human being and it's refusing to forgive the other people involved (if you deflect the anger, you don't have to give it up, and internal anger gives people a sense of control and entitlement).

    On the surface, I can see why y'all might think these things about ISFJs, but there's a lot going on inside. Worse, the ISFJ often is so focused on the external world and getting their responsibilities taken care of that they remain self-unaware. Their whole world is based on denial of their own human frailty, because their commitments are so absolute; they have serious trouble allowing themselves flex room.

    Note that each type has a range of behaviors associated with it. Some ISFJs will be pretty well-adjusted, sweet, and non-domineering; others will be very pragmatic, practical, and unyielding. Still, Fe goes a long way towards presenting a positive self-image. (This is drawn from a life experience full of various ISFJ women.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #22
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    ...
    Have you ever seen a negative of an ISFJ though? One who denies that certain realities apply to maintain their current mindset?

    This example is more likely to adapt the outside world to fit with what she wants than to subjugate what she wants to the realities of the world. Petty much everything else is as type.. Her shadow is a little more prominent but her best friend is an ENTP.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #23
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    telling him he only wants a certain car because of how he'll look to the community.... My dad just likes gadgets and new stuff.
    Side point... I really like your dad. We see eye to eye
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #24
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,340

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm pretty sure my mom is ISFJ, and this is how she is. She's usually very sweet and selfless, but if she gets her feelings hurt, no matter if she has said something equally hurtful/wrongheaded, YOU are going to be the one that apologizes, not she. She will also dig in her heels about financial things with my dad, telling him he only wants a certain car because of how he'll look to the community, when in fact it's she who will be embarrassed by having a fancy car. My dad just likes gadgets and new stuff. She kind of rules with an iron fist, under the guise of being sweet and selfless.
    Thanks for that.
    I was wondering if Xander would say if this is what he was describing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Side point... I really like your dad. We see eye to eye
    Yeah. I've seen your cars.
    Show off!

  5. #25
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Have you ever seen a negative of an ISFJ though? One who denies that certain realities apply to maintain their current mindset?

    This example is more likely to adapt the outside world to fit with what she wants than to subjugate what she wants to the realities of the world. Petty much everything else is as type.. Her shadow is a little more prominent but her best friend is an ENTP.
    Sounds like she has her head in the clouds. I'd question if she was ISFJ.

  6. #26
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    3,198

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm pretty sure my mom is ISFJ, and this is how she is. She's usually very sweet and selfless, but if she gets her feelings hurt, no matter if she has said something equally hurtful/wrongheaded, YOU are going to be the one that apologizes, not she. She will also dig in her heels about financial things with my dad, telling him he only wants a certain car because of how he'll look to the community, when in fact it's she who will be embarrassed by having a fancy car. My dad just likes gadgets and new stuff. She kind of rules with an iron fist, under the guise of being sweet and selfless.
    Sounds eerily familiar!
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #27
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'm pretty sure my mom is ISFJ, and this is how she is. She's usually very sweet and selfless, but if she gets her feelings hurt, no matter if she has said something equally hurtful/wrongheaded, YOU are going to be the one that apologizes, not she. She will also dig in her heels about financial things with my dad, telling him he only wants a certain car because of how he'll look to the community, when in fact it's she who will be embarrassed by having a fancy car. My dad just likes gadgets and new stuff. She kind of rules with an iron fist, under the guise of being sweet and selfless.
    This is the form of "selfishness" that I have seen in ISFJs. Of course, not all of them manifest it, and even those who do manifest it accordingly to their level of interpersonal stress, usually. I'd also say that the more sensing ISFJ (I will borrown this distinction from socionics) will tend to be more unwavering and wanting to get their way, the more feeling ISFJ are usually softer (I am a more "thinking" ENTJ so I am naturally skewed towards perceiving more "feeling" ISFJs as better, I'm certain an intuitive ENTJ would like more the more sensing kind).

    Sounds like she has her head in the clouds. I'd question if she was ISFJ.
    Well, not really. What he speaks about, is typical of sensing types (gone bad). Sensing (and, to a different extent, thinking) functions are those concerned with shaping and changing the external reality in a particular way.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #28
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    6,986

    Default

    Certain personality traits have nothing to do with MBTI. This is one of those.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #29
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Certain personality traits have nothing to do with MBTI. This is one of those.
    Best thing said in this thread. I agree. I think the selfless thing is another stereotype.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Well, not really. What he speaks about, is typical of sensing types (gone bad). Sensing (and, to a different extent, thinking) functions are those concerned with shaping and changing the external reality in a particular way.
    Perhaps, but that doesn't sound very practical especially if you're going against the norm.

  10. #30
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    4,516

    Default

    Lickels your girlfriend really doesn't sound like an ISFJ.
    Sounds more like ESFJ.
    we fukin won boys

Similar Threads

  1. Female Singers-who do you like?
    By prplchknz in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 75
    Last Post: 10-09-2014, 07:28 PM
  2. Female Doctor Who?
    By Z Buck McFate in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 06-13-2013, 03:02 PM
  3. [MBTItm] INFJ female & ISFJ male
    By Eng.daisy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-02-2010, 03:57 AM
  4. Male NFs vs. Female NTs: Who has it harder?
    By ajblaise in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 125
    Last Post: 05-18-2010, 03:11 PM
  5. [ISFJ] ISFJ - How would you feel/how you'd prefer to act in this situation
    By FDG in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-04-2010, 01:58 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO