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  1. #21
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
    By 'no' should I assume you mean 'yes'?
    Yes, and right away furthermore.

  2. #22
    Senior Member girlnamedbless's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Actually... no.

    (That's why I am having some trouble understanding your interpretations of people's behavior!)
    The girls that Sona is talking about were all Ps who couldn't make up their minds, obviously.
    I bet they'll put something in the air tonight, just to light your face.

  3. #23
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
    By 'no' should I assume you mean 'yes'?
    No.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #24
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlnamedbless View Post
    The girls that Sona is talking about were all Ps who couldn't make up their minds, obviously.
    Or girls who test guys with it. Thankfully I'm not into those girls.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #25
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    To put nicely the girl I'm talking about is ugly so even if I were attracted to girls I wouldn't be attracted to her. Honestly, I think she should get a sex change she might be attractive if she was a dude.

    That's not fair, she has huge boobs going for her.

  6. #26
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    OP: have you considered responding physically? I was once slapped by a girl for unintentionally violating her boundaries (wasn't hitting on her, just got too close too quickly while goofing around) and I got the message pretty quickly. She apologized for it later but I don't think I came within 10 feet of her after that, not because I was scared of another slap but rather because I was playing it safe with her boundaries. Or you could straight out punch her in the nose.

    Re Sona: honestly I don't think what he's saying is so very ridiculous. He is just playing the game by the rules as he's discovered them to be, as ISTJs do. And (as has been mentioned elsewhere) girls may sometimes like to be absolved of responsibility for sex which they desire, especially girls from conservative backgrounds, I suspect. Obviously this does not mean that all girls who say "no" really mean "yes", though I'm pretty sure that all girls who say "fuck off" really mean "fuck off".

    And there is the very real possibility of the odd very shy girl who says "no" meaning "no" but just doesn't have the will to make it stick. I was talking to a girl once who occasionally had sex with guys she didn't want to have sex with simply because she was too depressed and had too low self-esteem to sustain opposition to their advances. She figured "I'll just let them do it quickly and get it over with and then they'll leave me alone." I think she felt that it was probably somehow her fault that she'd gotten into the situation in the first place. Which is an exceptional reason to treat "no" as "no" in all cases. But otoh aren't "safety words" invented so that people can say variations of "no" before and during sex without actually meaning "no"? Isn't the very need for safety words an indication that verbal signals are not always intended to be taken at face value in this area, and that there is occasionally a desire for them not to be taken at face value?

    Just because it's a somewhat repulsive thought that "no" could be interpreted as "yes please" when it comes to sex, doesn't mean that it is never the case. So long as Sona is very, very, very careful in playing the game, since just one wrong case of interpretation would result in rape, with all its implications. I personally think it's a pretty huge risk to take, and doesn't justify the reward.

  7. #27
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    To put nicely the girl I'm talking about is ugly so even if I were attracted to girls I wouldn't be attracted to her. Honestly, I think she should get a sex change she might be attractive if she was a dude. That's not fair, she has huge boobs going for her.
    A dude with big boobs?

    Oh, you mean Bob....!



    (Can she sing like Meatloaf too? Being able to sing like Meatloaf has really paid off for that little troll Jack Black, perhaps it would expand her options as well...)

    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I was talking to a girl once who occasionally had sex with guys she didn't want to have sex with simply because she was too depressed and had too low self-esteem to sustain opposition to their advances. She figured "I'll just let them do it quickly and get it over with and then they'll leave me alone." I think she felt that it was probably somehow her fault that she'd gotten into the situation in the first place.


    Sigh.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #28
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    No, Sona has relations with women he doesn't know. That's his problem. And that's why he believes women who show their desire so directly are sluts. When you're in a relationship with someone long enough, you learn their quirks. A woman might say no, and then be convinced otherwise. She might initiate intimacy. She might say no and tease her SO because it makes for a more playful mood.

    But when you don't know the girl and you're trying to get into her pants, the boundaries are going to be much more unclear. I think I know what irks me the most about Sona's comments. He's making women sound like silly little playthings who are easily influenced and should fit into a certain mold. And if they don't do what you want (or how you think they should), they're either slutty or just need convincing.

  9. #29
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    OP: have you considered responding physically? I was once slapped by a girl for unintentionally violating her boundaries (wasn't hitting on her, just got too close too quickly while goofing around) and I got the message pretty quickly. She apologized for it later but I don't think I came within 10 feet of her after that, not because I was scared of another slap but rather because I was playing it safe with her boundaries. Or you could straight out punch her in the nose.
    I've beaten the hell out of her before, this was after I told her don't touch me or please stop and she did anyways. and It's wasn't of those "stop" and then giggle things it was on of those "I Don't like that" "I'm not attracted to you", stop touching me" "please stop touching me their" "WOULD" *hit* "YOU" *punch* PLEASE *kick* GET *hit* YOUR *slap* FUCKING *punch* HANDS OFF OF ME YOU BITCH." of course she takes that as an invitation for who knows what.

    I went to see a friend who knows this girl aswell, and my friend conviently pointed out to this girl anything means yes to her. You tell the girl (not my friend) something bluntly like lets say no you can't come over I'm fixing to leave, she'd probably show up at your door in the next 15 minutes. Or ask where your going refuse to quit calling and bugging you until she has all the details and meets you their.

    One more month. one more month. then back to Chicago 10 hours from her. So I'm hoping I can avoid her for a month, but she just got a car so I dunno. I panicked when I found out. which is when I sought advice on how to deal with her. If she comes by during the day I can hide until she goes away but if either of my parents are home they'll invite her in.

  10. #30
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Do your parents know that she is touching your boobs and bum and won't stop even when you tell her to stop and hit her? I would not let someone in my house that was doing that to one of my kids.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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