[MBTI General] ISTJ+ISFP?

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

Who gets bored, you or the guys?

Also, I advise against acting like an SJ. You should continue to be yourself. That's probably why he likes you, afterall. I think the ISTJ-ISFP match is good. As long as you are understanding and accepting of his tendencies, then you are doing your part.

I usually get bored with the same routines.

 

[lorkan]

You never cared what he thought, until now. Only because you don't want to make him mad... this doesn't sound good.

 

[Giggly]

I usually get bored with the same routines.

Ahh. Well if that is part of your make-up (and he is probably the opposite)then maybe you should tell him that, if only just to let him know that it helps you to keep things fresh and interesting between you two. Maybe you two can meet in the middle. I think that's what you're going for, yes?

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

You never cared what he thought, until now. Only because you don't want to make him mad... this doesn't sound good.

I'm talking about before we were going out. I guess I should've cleared that up.
When we first met I was going through a "I dont care what anyone has to think or say" phase and I was rude which rubbed him the wrong way.
now, after a little maturing I've gotten over that phase and now I realize it was stupid to act or think that way.

We've just recently started going out and my perspective has changed.
I have a great amout of respect for him and I dont want to disappoint him.

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

Ahh. Well if that is part of your make-up (and he is probably the opposite)then maybe you should tell him that, if only just to let him know that it helps you to keep things fresh and interesting between you two. Maybe you two can meet in the middle. I think that's what you're going for, yes?

Yes.
thank you.

and yea, he likes to be routine and dislikes anything out of the usual.

 

[Giggly]

Yes.
thank you.

and yea, he likes to be routine and dislikes anything out of the usual.

Hrm. Well, it takes SJ's a while to get used to things that are new to them, so you'll have to ease him into new things slowly. Of course, pacing yourself is something I'm not sure SP's are good at. But it might be good to have a little patience and then you can still have what you want, I think.

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

Hrm. Well, it takes SJ's a while to get used to things that are new to them, so you'll have to ease him into new things slowly. Of course, pacing yourself is something I'm not sure SP's are good at. But it might be good to have a little patience and then you can still have what you want, I think.

yea, im not trying to push anything on him yet because the relationship is still young

 

[Giggly]

yea, im not trying to push anything on him yet because the relationship is still young

Egads! The lightbulb just went on in my head about what you're talking about.

Ahem.

Umm.

Yeah. lol

 

[lorkan]

Ok, that sounds good.

And you wanted to know what to expect? Hmm probably that he will expect the worse. But ISTJ's being maybe the most pessimistic in nature, and ISFP the most optimistic, calming him down in situations (for example) were he's stressed because he didnt follow his schedual exactly would be a great idea. Your dominant Fi will calm his inferior Fi down. You will automatically calm him down when you use strong Fi, and you will hopefully not making him have to much headache if you back up your use of Se with your Fi.

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

Wait....what?

what am I talking about!?

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

OH!

um, no. i'm not talking about that....

 

[lorkan]

I believe there would be a funfactor in what I just said, coupled with meaningfullness.

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

I believe there would be a funfactor in what I just said, coupled with meaningfullness.

lol. thank you.

 

[Giggly]

OH!

um, no. i'm not talking about that....

Oh okay, sorry. lol

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

Oh okay, sorry. lol

lol. no its fine.
That was really funny tho.

 

[Giggly]

lol. no its fine.
That was really funny tho.

hehe

 

[anainani]

I had an ISTJ friend, and I can just tell you my experience.
I say "had" because I moved, and we never kept in touch, but he was a good friend. It all started off as he was hitting on me, and it was the funniest thing He'd pretend he would have some papers to write in the library during one of my all-nighters. Later he'd tell me that he had finished all his papers a long time ago, he just wanted to see me. He was so uptight and fidgety too, but he was funny.
He was so funny in general to me, and he never even meant to be. Like, he would make these little dishes with carrots and broccoli as a snack, neatly cut and arranged in like 8 X 8 little squares on the dish.
He was a health-nut, that's why the carrots . He'd never eat any junk food, and would look at me like "eww" when I'd get a cookie. He'd also run all these marathons to help himself "focus on his goals".
He had all these borderline OCD things, I'd joke with him about it all the time. And he'd joke with me and my easy-goingness. It was all in a good-hearted way though.
He was irritated that I would go with un-ironed clothes, and that I was ALWAYS late everwhere. He bought me an ironer for me birthday. haha, no kidding.
I'd get irritated with his rigidity, uptightedness and unopenmindedness (pretty much to ANYthing), but I couldn't really stay mad at him. I just thought he was so funny in that way. He'd get grouchy when I'd do "out of the ordinary stuff", which I did pretty often, just to get him grouchy, cos I'm stubborn like that. He told me that he was also in a way, fascinated by it, even though he'd get grouchy sometimes.
He was always so "perfect", everywhere on time, all neat and orderly. He also had a ten year plan. He was going to grad school to become a lawyer, and now he probably works in this one lawyer firm, if everyting is going by his plan, which I'm 99% sure it is. And he told me that he'd be a good husband to me, so he said that when he "settles down", and has enough money and a house and stuff, I could be his wife, and we could make little perfect babies. He said it as a joke, but there's truth in every joke, isn't there? I told him, what the heck, I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow!
I really have nothing bad to say about him, I had lots of respect for him. He was a very good-hearted guy.
So anyway, we were just friends, and it's different than romantic relationships. I couldn't imagine being in a romantic relationship with him, it would be so frickin weird. We'd get sick of each other, and I just know that he would try to change me sooner or later.
Ahh, I dunno if all this gibberish makes any sense or even is helpful.
But yea, I'm just generalizing here based on one example. So, I guess it all depends on what you like and what kinds of compromises are you and him willing to take.

 

[lorkan]

ainainani: Sounds like you like him alot. I think you would be able to form a romantic relationship with your istj-friend. Maybe it has many factors to why you would think not. It may be you inferior Ni that tricks you that the sensational pleasures you actually get from your friend isnt enough and your Fi feels that there is no feeling to relate to and therefor you don't have enough confidence to show yourself vulnerable. But, infact, showing yourself vulnerable first to ISTJ's would make the ISTJ think that there really is deep emotions to this character (because there is) and not just emotions that are there to manipulate other people to get what they want. I believe that both would see eachother as somewhat shallow but in different ways if neither of you take the first step and show emotions about "this is important, i need to be free from booring routines". Yes, I know that you think that the ISTJ wouldn't grasp that and they look cold like hell. But I think most of them do.

There is potential atleast.

 

[lorkan]

it was to the threadmaker to

 

[Frankie-NOTRUST-]

I had an ISTJ friend, and I can just tell you my experience.
I say "had" because I moved, and we never kept in touch, but he was a good friend. It all started off as he was hitting on me, and it was the funniest thing He'd pretend he would have some papers to write in the library during one of my all-nighters. Later he'd tell me that he had finished all his papers a long time ago, he just wanted to see me. He was so uptight and fidgety too, but he was funny.
He was so funny in general to me, and he never even meant to be. Like, he would make these little dishes with carrots and broccoli as a snack, neatly cut and arranged in like 8 X 8 little squares on the dish.
He was a health-nut, that's why the carrots . He'd never eat any junk food, and would look at me like "eww" when I'd get a cookie. He'd also run all these marathons to help himself "focus on his goals".
He had all these borderline OCD things, I'd joke with him about it all the time. And he'd joke with me and my easy-goingness. It was all in a good-hearted way though.
He was irritated that I would go with un-ironed clothes, and that I was ALWAYS late everwhere. He bought me an ironer for me birthday. haha, no kidding.
I'd get irritated with his rigidity, uptightedness and unopenmindedness (pretty much to ANYthing), but I couldn't really stay mad at him. I just thought he was so funny in that way. He'd get grouchy when I'd do "out of the ordinary stuff", which I did pretty often, just to get him grouchy, cos I'm stubborn like that. He told me that he was also in a way, fascinated by it, even though he'd get grouchy sometimes.
He was always so "perfect", everywhere on time, all neat and orderly. He also had a ten year plan. He was going to grad school to become a lawyer, and now he probably works in this one lawyer firm, if everyting is going by his plan, which I'm 99% sure it is . And he told me that he'd be a good husband to me, so he said that when he "settles down", and has enough money and a house and stuff, I could be his wife, and we could make little perfect babies. He said it as a joke, but there's truth in every joke, isn't there? I told him, what the heck, I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow!
I really have nothing bad to say about him, I had lots of respect for him. He was a very good-hearted guy.
So anyway, we were just friends, and it's different than romantic relationships. I couldn't imagine being in a romantic relationship with him, it would be so frickin weird. We'd get sick of each other, and I just know that he would try to change me sooner or later.
Ahh, I dunno if all this gibberish makes any sense or even is helpful.
But yea, I'm just generalizing here based on one example. So, I guess it all depends on what you like and what kinds of compromises are you and him willing to take.

haha thats sweet.
my ISTJ has many ocds too. hes not so uptight tho. he can be pretty easy going. hes really funny too. he says the sweetest things.

I need someone to balance out my messy-ness. we fit well together. but sometimes we get on eachothers nerves, but like you, i could never stay mad at him. he thinks im outspoken, and i am. i think he should say whats on his mind, but he wont. but i love that about him. i love that hes himself and im myself but we can still work things out.