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[SJ] The need to belong

Cimarron

IRL is not real
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People say that SJs feel a "need to belong" to a group more than other types.

I would think this would be kind of an internal struggle for ISJs, because of their Introversion. (Let me know if you disagree with that.) They feel uncomfortable in crowds, but they like to be part of a group. I guess things like this forum might be a nice combination for them, with personal space and group activity?

To ISJs, are you aware of a "need to belong?" Do you belong to organizations, clubs, groups, etc? You don't have to say what they are if you don't want to.
 

Recoleta

No me digas, che!
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Aug 8, 2007
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ISXJ
Outside of my classes/school program, I am not part of any kind of organized group.

I think this idea of a "need for group" goes along with the fact that ISJs are not particularly radical people. I never understood "the rebel without a cause" thing, because without people to back you up, people might find you fascinating, but really, at the rebel types, I just shrug my shoulders and write them off as a fad or a novelty. If you want to make changes, you need numbers to back you up.

If I'm going to act, I'm not going to act alone (unless I am SUPER passionate about something...and if by chance I am super passionate about something my chances are that many other people will be passionate about the same thing because as a relatively unemotional person, it takes a decent amount of frustration for me to "go against the grain" while others are motivated by much less frustration.

So all that to say, "I don't see the point of trying to act on my own to start a new idea or revolution...I'm simply not charasmatic enough for that...hence the need for ENXXs"
 

Cimarron

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I hadn't thought about it that way. Interesting...
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
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Mayhap this could explain a biit more into why DND caught on so well for my friend.. I could definitely see it being safe, personal-space+belonging balance.

Is it that you struggle with belonging.. or that you refuse to do something unless you belong with the group doing it?? If I worded that right...
 

Cimarron

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I liked playing in the school band, because I could sink into the crowd. I always played better, meaning I was less tense and less timid, when there were others playing along with me.

But I've heard others on the board who aren't ISJs say similar things. I don't know if I liked the sense of "community" I got from it...was that really why I did it, besides liking to play the music?
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
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I would think this would be kind of an internal struggle for ISJs, because of their Introversion. (Let me know if you disagree with that.)

I agree. You make good points, but my guess is that other introverted types feel this way too.
 

Cimarron

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I guess part of it is that (as believed by most people) all humans have a desire to belong. But SJs are reputed to have that need, which if it's not redundant, must mean SJs have a stronger desire for it than others...?
 

Giggly

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I guess part of it is that (as believed by most people) all humans have a desire to belong. But SJs are reputed to have that need, which if it's not redundant, must mean SJs have a stronger desire for it than others...?

Hrm, I wonder.... :thinking: Maybe it's true. Maybe it's better for ESJ's. If I had to choose to be another type of SJ, it would be ESTJ.
 

The Ü™

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Technically, the need to belong is an Fi trait, while the need to serve is Fe.
 

Snow Turtle

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Could this be a combination of large sample size along with desire to be grounded, knowing where you stand within the community.
 

The Ü™

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Could this be a combination of large sample size along with desire to be grounded, knowing where you stand within the community.

Yeah, that seems much more like an SJ tendency.
 

Cimarron

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Knowing where you stand....interesting. That sounds kind of true.
 

Amira

New member
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Dec 18, 2008
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199
MBTI Type
ISTJ
I have never been much for joining a group just for the sake of joining a group. However, I do feel a strong desire to be in the "inner circle," you might say, at my workplaces. I like being able to help in decision making and having some influence so as to streamline operations better. I also like knowing my bosses trust me.

When I make friends, it is with the hope of eventually being able to feel like family when I'm around them. As a TJ, in social events I deal with the dichotomy of wanting to fit into groups easily so I can have fun conversations about facts and ideas and yet having to deal with my own awkwardness at the "easy flow" of small talk and my difficulty with say, giving compliments that don't come out sounding stiff or cheesy or weird. Usually if I compliment someone it is very premeditated. I have gotten much better about small talk in recent years, to the point where a lot of people think I'm an extrovert, but I still tend to be disapointed at how many times people only want to make small talk. I like deep discussions, even if I'm not always good at verbalizing my own theories (vs. facts and trivia and quotes from others).

I sometimes think extroverts are a lot more likely to join clubs and regular activities than introverts. I only join things if I believe it is really worth it compared to the energy it will take and the rearranging of my schedule.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
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Hrm, I wonder.... :thinking: Maybe it's true. Maybe it's better for ESJ's. If I had to choose to be another type of SJ, it would be ESTJ.

Firstly, I agree about the need to be included - it's not as bad for ESxJs (I don't think). For me, at least (as an ESTJ perhaps?), it's not as strong because it's counterbalanced by a need to be a leader (which actually makes for loads of internal struggle). Of course, I still feel the need to belong, and to be part of a group, which I'm almost positive is caused by good ol' SJ feelings of obligation.

Secondly... you would be an ESTJ? Really??? I'm not sure if I'm happy or concerned for you :) Why would you be one, btw? (I honestly can't think of a good reason why someone would... besides the work ethic, and besides xSxJ traits.)
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
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Nov 20, 2008
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2,830
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ISTJ
I have a need to be needed. Usually in order for me to act, I like when there is someone supporting me.

However, if I have to stand up for what I believe is right and I am the only one in the room that thinks so, it won't bother me. That doesn't mean I'm afraid to admit that I am wrong though.
 
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