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Thread: The need to belong

  1. #11
    Permabanned Array
    Join Date
    May 2007
    5w6 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Kai View Post
    Could this be a combination of large sample size along with desire to be grounded, knowing where you stand within the community.
    Yeah, that seems much more like an SJ tendency.

  2. #12
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    5w6 sp/so


    Knowing where you stand....interesting. That sounds kind of true.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Array Amira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008


    I have never been much for joining a group just for the sake of joining a group. However, I do feel a strong desire to be in the "inner circle," you might say, at my workplaces. I like being able to help in decision making and having some influence so as to streamline operations better. I also like knowing my bosses trust me.

    When I make friends, it is with the hope of eventually being able to feel like family when I'm around them. As a TJ, in social events I deal with the dichotomy of wanting to fit into groups easily so I can have fun conversations about facts and ideas and yet having to deal with my own awkwardness at the "easy flow" of small talk and my difficulty with say, giving compliments that don't come out sounding stiff or cheesy or weird. Usually if I compliment someone it is very premeditated. I have gotten much better about small talk in recent years, to the point where a lot of people think I'm an extrovert, but I still tend to be disapointed at how many times people only want to make small talk. I like deep discussions, even if I'm not always good at verbalizing my own theories (vs. facts and trivia and quotes from others).

    I sometimes think extroverts are a lot more likely to join clubs and regular activities than introverts. I only join things if I believe it is really worth it compared to the energy it will take and the rearranging of my schedule.

  4. #14
    hyggelig Array EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    173 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Hrm, I wonder.... Maybe it's true. Maybe it's better for ESJ's. If I had to choose to be another type of SJ, it would be ESTJ.
    Firstly, I agree about the need to be included - it's not as bad for ESxJs (I don't think). For me, at least (as an ESTJ perhaps?), it's not as strong because it's counterbalanced by a need to be a leader (which actually makes for loads of internal struggle). Of course, I still feel the need to belong, and to be part of a group, which I'm almost positive is caused by good ol' SJ feelings of obligation.

    Secondly... you would be an ESTJ? Really??? I'm not sure if I'm happy or concerned for you Why would you be one, btw? (I honestly can't think of a good reason why someone would... besides the work ethic, and besides xSxJ traits.)
    and it's nice enough to
    make a man
    weep, but I don't
    weep, do

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw or gryffindor (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  5. #15
    Perfect Gentleman! =D Array d@v3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    I have a need to be needed. Usually in order for me to act, I like when there is someone supporting me.

    However, if I have to stand up for what I believe is right and I am the only one in the room that thinks so, it won't bother me. That doesn't mean I'm afraid to admit that I am wrong though.
    Freedom Isn't Free.

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