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Thread: ISFJ vs. ISTJ?

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    Member mbeerti's Avatar
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    Default ISFJ vs. ISTJ?

    I have a friend who is definitely an IS_J. I see her profession and decision making style being more 'T' but personally, she seems to be touched/moved by things in a very 'F' way; she has more empathy than most T's I know and she can also be overly sensitive at times.

    Coming from people who identify with one type or the other, what would you say the major difference is between an ISFJ and an ISTJ?

  2. #2
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    The SJ temperament makes an ISxJ put a lot of structure on their life by default. It's just...effortless for them. The thing with an ISTJ, is they take it a step further. An ISTJ approaches the world with Extraverted Thinking, making them impersonal in decision making and even more "obsessed" with routine and and structure. An ISFJ, however, approaches their world with Extraverted Feeling. They make their decisions based on how it will affect the people around them, and in the process place an emphasis on harmonious relationships, rather than a logical analysis of the external world.

    ISFJs can come across as extraverted because of the Extraverted Feeling they use when interacting with the world. They want to treat people right and have a higher sense of moral values. ISTJs are more cold than ISFJs, not because they're mean, but because of the Extraverted Thinking they use. When making a decision, they detach themselves from the situation.


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    Widdles in your cream.
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    Haha. I was best friends with both an ISTJ and ISFJ.

    If I'm honest, I never really observed their behaviour that much. But from what I do remember, the ISTJ was a lot more reclusive, while the ISFJ was more relational. While I was free to socialise with other people when I was around the ISTJ, who was okay with it (or just indifferent), I would find the ISFJ would slip into a jealous sulk. I believe her catchphrase was, "Oh, welcome back".

    In terms of conflict, I always had to be the one to approach the ISTJ; never the reverse. Whilst with the ISFJ, she would try to patch things up fairly soon, probably due to having a need for harmony. The ISTJ had more of a masculine appearance, too, while the ISFJ gave off a more 'soft' vibe. The ISFJ often complained about some of the jokes I told, but the ISTJ would crack up and add something, much to the ISFJ's disapproval.

    There was this girl in our class who had no friends. ISTJ would make snickering comments about her, and the ISFJ would feel bad and invite her to our table. So ISFJs are a lot more compassionate in comparison. ISTJs seem to have that 'cold' vibe to them, in a way. ISFJs are more mammalian.
    Um, yeah.

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    Member mbeerti's Avatar
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    Well, this is good. Thanks for the opinions and insight.

    P.s. Grunge, I replied to your comment in the "Least Favorite Type" thread.

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    Widdles in your cream.
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    I posted there? Fair enough.
    Um, yeah.

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    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    IStJ (Couldn't believe he was TJ rather than FJ)
    - Polite around others. There didn't seem much need to connect with people on a deeper level with simple friends.

    ISFJ
    - Even when it comes to strangers, he'll try to initiate conversation on a more sort of friendly level rather than polite level. Having said that he's worked in a pub for a long time.

    ISTJ
    - A huge difference between me and my mother. She's constantly stressed out by comparison but she seems to push herself forward in those situations, working under competitive environments.

    "Look towards the good person"

    Whereas I hate working with that belief. That doesn't motivate me at all to work harder, in fact it just sends me into a negative spiral of failure to do so.

    Then again it could just be an individual thing rather than type. There was a personality page that once mentioned how people operate in reaction to failure:

    ISTJs - Berate themselves.
    ISFJs - End up feeling like failures.

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    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Many of my friends are ISTJ's and ISFJs. I have to agree with Grungemouse. The ISFJ's are more socially aware, more warm and fuzzy, and more emotional. If I want to whine to someone I'll go to them because of their true empathy and listening skills.

    ISTJ's are cool headed but sometimes distant. If you try to talk to them they listen, but aren't as ready with answers, and don't get all caught up in your problems. ISTJ's in my life are very goal-oriented and work oriented.

    ISFJ's are more people-oriented.
    ISFJ's tend to worry more often, IMO. The ISFJ's in my life actually worry a lot. The ISTJ's aren't as bothered by stress and attack it and move through it.
    ISFJ's are motherly to me, offering hugs and warmth and kind words. The males are less obvious about being affectionate, but I still get a feeling of comfort and empathy from them.
    ISTJ's are fatherly. (whether male or female) offering money and time and services, always the ones there when your car is broken down on the side of the road, or "tsk tsking" you if you've done something out of line.

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    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    If you're looking at the emotional situation:

    I have a hard time giving words of empathy, as has been said. Even when I want to tell my friends who are feeling bad that I "feel for them", it sounds factual and kind of empty. It's just more difficult to convey my emotion.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    OP: Seeing as you're an INTP, I think you'll find relating to the friend more if they were an ISTJ. I got on better with the ISTJ friend outside of work situations, and approached emotional situations very much the same as Cimarron does.
    Um, yeah.

  10. #10
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Many of my friends are ISTJ's and ISFJs. I have to agree with Grungemouse. The ISFJ's are more socially aware, more warm and fuzzy, and more emotional. If I want to whine to someone I'll go to them because of their true empathy and listening skills.

    ISTJ's are cool headed but sometimes distant. If you try to talk to them they listen, but aren't as ready with answers, and don't get all caught up in your problems. ISTJ's in my life are very goal-oriented and work oriented.

    ISFJ's are more people-oriented.
    ISFJ's tend to worry more often, IMO. The ISFJ's in my life actually worry a lot. The ISTJ's aren't as bothered by stress and attack it and move through it.
    ISFJ's are motherly to me, offering hugs and warmth and kind words. The males are less obvious about being affectionate, but I still get a feeling of comfort and empathy from them.
    ISTJ's are fatherly. (whether male or female) offering money and time and services, always the ones there when your car is broken down on the side of the road, or "tsk tsking" you if you've done something out of line.
    I think this is pretty accurate.

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