My sister is ESTJ. We get along just fine as long as I:
1. don't oppose her point of view
If we see things differently, which 90% of the time we usually do, we will end up arguing until I concede, don't care, or leave. Once she believes she's right, she will not let up and she MUST have the last word.
2. Don't try to convince her about anything
Plain and simple because it won't happen. It's her way, end of story. (Unless it can be proved otherwise with reason that SHE deems worthy)
My ISTJ friend and hardly ever argue because I guess even though he might be as rigid in his opinions or way of doing things he doesn't try to push them on me or he doesn't express them as vehemently. I don't know if it's because he's an introvert or because he doesn't feel comfortable enough to be that way, yet.
I noticed major similarities and contrasts between the way her and my ISTJ friend get things done. Both will not do anything without analyzing it to death. But my sister does this out loud. I can sit there and she will think out loud for an hour or two about whether she should buy something, do something, eat something, etc or not. My ISTJ friend will just sit quietly and (seemingly) randomly he will finally tell me what he's concluded about something we talked about hours or days before. It's like I get the last paragraph to whatever he's been thinking, with my sister i get the whole story.
My sister will not do anything if she can't predict the outcome favorably, and she's pretty pessimistic, like my friend. Except my sister will tell me why, and my friend will just tell me the answer.
I've noticed that in social situations where she doesn't know anyone she's sometimes shy or quiet, but people easily misinterpret that as being stuck up or rude mostly because of her facial expression or her conversation is kind distant. My ISTJ has told me that people read him wrong all the time. The difference between them is that my sister wants people to know that she isn't being mean, aloof, whatever. On the other hand my friend prefers for people not to know that he might be really feeling embarrassed, shy, nervous, etc.
My point in this post is that I find it interesting how similar they both seem, but what a difference the E seems to make. Out of the two the ISTJ is easier to get along with. If my sister wasn't my sister I don't think we would get along as friends. I would feel like I'm being bossed around.