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Thread: ESTJ vs. ISTJ

  1. #1
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Default ESTJ vs. ISTJ

    My sister is ESTJ. We get along just fine as long as I:

    1. don't oppose her point of view

    If we see things differently, which 90% of the time we usually do, we will end up arguing until I concede, don't care, or leave. Once she believes she's right, she will not let up and she MUST have the last word.

    2. Don't try to convince her about anything

    Plain and simple because it won't happen. It's her way, end of story. (Unless it can be proved otherwise with reason that SHE deems worthy)

    My ISTJ friend and hardly ever argue because I guess even though he might be as rigid in his opinions or way of doing things he doesn't try to push them on me or he doesn't express them as vehemently. I don't know if it's because he's an introvert or because he doesn't feel comfortable enough to be that way, yet.

    I noticed major similarities and contrasts between the way her and my ISTJ friend get things done. Both will not do anything without analyzing it to death. But my sister does this out loud. I can sit there and she will think out loud for an hour or two about whether she should buy something, do something, eat something, etc or not. My ISTJ friend will just sit quietly and (seemingly) randomly he will finally tell me what he's concluded about something we talked about hours or days before. It's like I get the last paragraph to whatever he's been thinking, with my sister i get the whole story.

    My sister will not do anything if she can't predict the outcome favorably, and she's pretty pessimistic, like my friend. Except my sister will tell me why, and my friend will just tell me the answer.

    I've noticed that in social situations where she doesn't know anyone she's sometimes shy or quiet, but people easily misinterpret that as being stuck up or rude mostly because of her facial expression or her conversation is kind distant. My ISTJ has told me that people read him wrong all the time. The difference between them is that my sister wants people to know that she isn't being mean, aloof, whatever. On the other hand my friend prefers for people not to know that he might be really feeling embarrassed, shy, nervous, etc.

    My point in this post is that I find it interesting how similar they both seem, but what a difference the E seems to make. Out of the two the ISTJ is easier to get along with. If my sister wasn't my sister I don't think we would get along as friends. I would feel like I'm being bossed around.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I call it ENFP crazy eyes.
    "Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes--none knows whence--and cannot explain itself." -Mark Twain, Eve's Diary

    "Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it -- ashamed of our weakness, and embittered against the cause of its exposure, but no matter, we have to join in, there is no help for it." Mark Twain

  2. #2
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Man...I just wish there were more ESTJs on the board to tell us about their lives. My little sister "tests" as ESxJ, with x = borderline. We do kind of think things through in the same way, and when one of us makes a decision, the other observes it and usually says "makes sense." She seems to get along fine with friends, though sometimes her bluntness comes out the wrong way.

    My grandfather, on the other hand, is a hard-to-deal-with ES_J.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #3
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Any more thoughts?
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Any more thoughts?
    not really from me...I guess there aren't enough (any?) ESTJs on the board or ISTJs interested to make a conversation....oh well.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I call it ENFP crazy eyes.
    "Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes--none knows whence--and cannot explain itself." -Mark Twain, Eve's Diary

    "Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it -- ashamed of our weakness, and embittered against the cause of its exposure, but no matter, we have to join in, there is no help for it." Mark Twain

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    I know a couple of ESTJs and several ISTJs. They are all very different of course (as all people are), and I try not to put them in boxes. I get a long quite well with both and I tend to see their 'rigidity' as not a negative thing but more that they have well-established philosophies, values, morals and they generally consistently live by it. Yeah, I can't challenge that (brick wall!) - but why should I? To change their minds, to make them see other sides you must present it logically, but then again, that's the only way to convince me too so it's something I already do.

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    I'm close friends with a girl who tests as ESTJ. I've always had good chemistry with her and flirt with her whenever I see her. She's never come across as argumentative or pig headed as the OPs sister although, she has had problems with depression and that may have an effect on her MBTI results.

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    Perfect Gentleman! =D d@v3's Avatar
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    My my sister is ENTJ (and so is her fiance) and my father is ENTJ, and my other sister and my mother are also Exxx. [I swear was adopted]

    They are ALL disorganized and cannot be on time to a meeting if their life depended on it.

    Anyway, when any of us disagree (especially with my future brother in law) we kind of just walk away or change the subject. I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong though, if they have proof.
    Freedom Isn't Free. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Man...I just wish there were more ESTJs on the board to tell us about their lives.
    That's my cue!! Whut up?

    I have an ISTJ cousin, and she's a lot more serious than I am. I'm not sure if that's just the I or not, but I tend to be a goofball, and she just shakes her head at me. Her sense of humor is also a lot darker than mine. However, she's even firmer in her beliefs than me. I'd like to think that if someone gave me enough credible evidence, I would change my mind on an issue, but with my cousin... we always end up agreeing to disagree.

    But yeah... speaking of Cimarron's quote, if there's anything you need to know about my life that would help with this discussion, I'd be glad to pitch in. (That's probably all I can do at this point, since my experience with ISTJs is limited to what I said in my previous story.)
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #9
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I have an ISTJ cousin, and she's a lot more serious than I am. I'm not sure if that's just the I or not, but I tend to be a goofball, and she just shakes her head at me.
    Yeah, that does seem to be true. Though I think a large part of it is the Introversion barrier.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  10. #10
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by d@v3 View Post
    My my sister is ENTJ (and so is her fiance) and my father is ENTJ, and my other sister and my mother are also Exxx. [I swear was adopted]

    They are ALL disorganized and cannot be on time to a meeting if their life depended on it.

    Anyway, when any of us disagree (especially with my future brother in law) we kind of just walk away or change the subject. I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong though, if they have proof.
    Doesn't sound very ENTJ-like to not be on time Maybe you have your J and P confused. J-people are usually structured = on time.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

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