This thread is directed at ISTJs.
Iím on the fence about the topic of love. Iím 26 and still havenít been in a relationship. Itís not because Iíve tried and failed with girls, itís because Iíve never tried at all. When a pretty girl smiles at me, I usually look away. My life is ruled by my inner drive to have everything in order. I feel I need to plan everything out. Hereís a simple summary of my life plan, and how itís gone so far.
1. Finish school Ė check
2. Finish college Ė check
3. Find a job related to my degree Ė check
4. Move up the career ladder to a satisfactory position Ė in progress
5. Build a house Ė currently saving money
6. Find a girlfriend Ė must finish previous steps before proceeding
7. Depends on how 6 goes
As you can see, I need my ducks in a row. Itís like I canít handle more than one thing at a time so I donít allow any time in my life for the unexpected. I live by routine and stick with what works. I feel out of control if I don't.
This brings me to the business of love. Itís something thatís foreign to me and frankly scares the hell out of me. I see all the stupid things people do for love and I think thereís no way I would do anything like that. It makes me uneasy to think that people so easily abandon all reason just as soon as their hormones kick in. No, Iím not immune to itís effect, though I wish I was. Iíve caught myself in the heat of the moment a few times. Luckily, I realized how foolish I was acting and stopped.
Sure, I appreciate the idea of love, romance, and all that. What I donít appreciate is gambling on an emotion, losing, and then regretting it forever. Itís a high risk game and Iím wondering if itís really worth it.
Why is society so desperately pressuring us into finding love? You canít turn on the TV or listen to music without getting hammered by someoneís view on love. I know I certainly feel the pressure. The two least favorite questions I hate to hear are ďWhen are you going to find a girlfriend?Ē and ďAre you ever going to get married?Ē.
When I weigh being single vs. being in a relationship, I usually side with being single. The only thing that would make me think otherwise is finding the elusive/mythical soul mate, however youíre supposed do that.
What I would like to know from my fellow ISTJs is, is love worth the trouble? How have your relationships gone? Have you had many of them? If youíre married, are you satisfied? Did you make the moves or did your spouse have to initiate all the advances? Is it worth all the stress? Do you wish you were still single?
I know weíre duty fulfillers, but that doesnít necessarily mean we want the duties to begin with.