fishingdude
New member
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2008
- Messages
- 79
- MBTI Type
- ISTJ
This thread is directed at ISTJs.
I’m on the fence about the topic of love. I’m 26 and still haven’t been in a relationship. It’s not because I’ve tried and failed with girls, it’s because I’ve never tried at all. When a pretty girl smiles at me, I usually look away. My life is ruled by my inner drive to have everything in order. I feel I need to plan everything out. Here’s a simple summary of my life plan, and how it’s gone so far.
1. Finish school – check
2. Finish college – check
3. Find a job related to my degree – check
4. Move up the career ladder to a satisfactory position – in progress
5. Build a house – currently saving money
6. Find a girlfriend – must finish previous steps before proceeding
7. Depends on how 6 goes
As you can see, I need my ducks in a row. It’s like I can’t handle more than one thing at a time so I don’t allow any time in my life for the unexpected. I live by routine and stick with what works. I feel out of control if I don't.
This brings me to the business of love. It’s something that’s foreign to me and frankly scares the hell out of me. I see all the stupid things people do for love and I think there’s no way I would do anything like that. It makes me uneasy to think that people so easily abandon all reason just as soon as their hormones kick in. No, I’m not immune to it’s effect, though I wish I was. I’ve caught myself in the heat of the moment a few times. Luckily, I realized how foolish I was acting and stopped.
Sure, I appreciate the idea of love, romance, and all that. What I don’t appreciate is gambling on an emotion, losing, and then regretting it forever. It’s a high risk game and I’m wondering if it’s really worth it.
Why is society so desperately pressuring us into finding love? You can’t turn on the TV or listen to music without getting hammered by someone’s view on love. I know I certainly feel the pressure. The two least favorite questions I hate to hear are “When are you going to find a girlfriend?” and “Are you ever going to get married?”.
When I weigh being single vs. being in a relationship, I usually side with being single. The only thing that would make me think otherwise is finding the elusive/mythical soul mate, however you’re supposed do that.
What I would like to know from my fellow ISTJs is, is love worth the trouble? How have your relationships gone? Have you had many of them? If you’re married, are you satisfied? Did you make the moves or did your spouse have to initiate all the advances? Is it worth all the stress? Do you wish you were still single?
I know we’re duty fulfillers, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we want the duties to begin with.
I’m on the fence about the topic of love. I’m 26 and still haven’t been in a relationship. It’s not because I’ve tried and failed with girls, it’s because I’ve never tried at all. When a pretty girl smiles at me, I usually look away. My life is ruled by my inner drive to have everything in order. I feel I need to plan everything out. Here’s a simple summary of my life plan, and how it’s gone so far.
1. Finish school – check
2. Finish college – check
3. Find a job related to my degree – check
4. Move up the career ladder to a satisfactory position – in progress
5. Build a house – currently saving money
6. Find a girlfriend – must finish previous steps before proceeding
7. Depends on how 6 goes
As you can see, I need my ducks in a row. It’s like I can’t handle more than one thing at a time so I don’t allow any time in my life for the unexpected. I live by routine and stick with what works. I feel out of control if I don't.
This brings me to the business of love. It’s something that’s foreign to me and frankly scares the hell out of me. I see all the stupid things people do for love and I think there’s no way I would do anything like that. It makes me uneasy to think that people so easily abandon all reason just as soon as their hormones kick in. No, I’m not immune to it’s effect, though I wish I was. I’ve caught myself in the heat of the moment a few times. Luckily, I realized how foolish I was acting and stopped.
Sure, I appreciate the idea of love, romance, and all that. What I don’t appreciate is gambling on an emotion, losing, and then regretting it forever. It’s a high risk game and I’m wondering if it’s really worth it.
Why is society so desperately pressuring us into finding love? You can’t turn on the TV or listen to music without getting hammered by someone’s view on love. I know I certainly feel the pressure. The two least favorite questions I hate to hear are “When are you going to find a girlfriend?” and “Are you ever going to get married?”.
When I weigh being single vs. being in a relationship, I usually side with being single. The only thing that would make me think otherwise is finding the elusive/mythical soul mate, however you’re supposed do that.
What I would like to know from my fellow ISTJs is, is love worth the trouble? How have your relationships gone? Have you had many of them? If you’re married, are you satisfied? Did you make the moves or did your spouse have to initiate all the advances? Is it worth all the stress? Do you wish you were still single?
I know we’re duty fulfillers, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we want the duties to begin with.
