User Tag List

First 1234513 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 213

  1. #21
    Member fishingdude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    I wasn't aware happiness was relevant to personal growth... I'd say that the challenges of loving someone shapes us in new and better ways, but clearly it is not for the risk-averse. If you're content with gaining nothing, then risk nothing.
    Personal growth is great, I'm after the facts. I don't want to get into something I'll regret. I strive on making the smart move. I like to look back and say that was a good choice. We could be talking about investing in stocks. I don't want to buy something that is high risk in today's market. This is just me, stepping back, and asking myself what I really want out of life.

    I like to know what's going to happen in life so I can adjust my goals accordingly. This includes whether or not to pursue a relationship. The sooner I decide, the better. If I plan on getting married some day and having kids, then I can start to prepare for that situation. For example, I'm planning on building a house. It would be nice to know how big to build it. If it's just going to be me, I won't need much. If the goal is family, then I'll build a bigger one.

  2. #22
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    LoLz
    Posts
    2,523

    Default

    o_O



  3. #23
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    What is the question again?

    If you are already not pursuing women, then there is nothing for you to give up.

    If you're asking if you should give up hope of a woman pursuing you, then that's not a bad idea since it's out of your control anyway and could give you peace of mind to not be waiting for it.

    Just don't be closed off to it if it does end up happening.

  4. #24
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    LoLz
    Posts
    2,523

    Default

    I'm thinking my classes at college is a good place to start. It's like a new set of people each semester. I'll go through each one finding people worth talking to.


  5. #25
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    I'm thinking my classes at college is a good place to start. It's like a new set of people each semester. I'll go through each one finding people worth talking to.
    Yes, college is the best place to meet potential romantic partners because no one is married and they're all looking to have fun.

  6. #26
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,068

    Default

    1. Finish school – check
    2. Finish college – check
    3. Find a job related to my degree – check
    4. Move up the career ladder to a satisfactory position – in progress
    5. Build a house – currently saving money
    6. Find a girlfriend – must finish previous steps before proceeding
    7. Depends on how 6 goes
    I don't remember the rings of Dante's Hell but are these them?

    You have to want love more than the fear of having it. I'm driven by passion, I couldn't cohabitant or even date somebody without having that total desire for them, like I wanted to breath them in and consume them. I'm however like this in every aspect of my life.

    You're an ST, life is easiest for you guys and you can find another ST and just be happy forever. It's a fact that every type including NTs are happier with a non-NT...

    Love is tough man but don't get so wrapped up in it going just so. You're never going to be ready for the two things we were put here for, love and a baby.

  7. #27
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fishingdude View Post
    Sure, I appreciate the idea of love, romance, and all that. What I don’t appreciate is gambling on an emotion, losing, and then regretting it forever. It’s a high risk game and I’m wondering if it’s really worth it.

    Why is society so desperately pressuring us into finding love? You can’t turn on the TV or listen to music without getting hammered by someone’s view on love. I know I certainly feel the pressure. The two least favorite questions I hate to hear are “When are you going to find a girlfriend?” and “Are you ever going to get married?”.

    When I weigh being single vs. being in a relationship, I usually side with being single. The only thing that would make me think otherwise is finding the elusive/mythical soul mate, however you’re supposed do that.
    Hey, I get where you're coming from.

    Quote Originally Posted by fishingdude
    What I would like to know from my fellow ISTJs is, is love worth the trouble? How have your relationships gone? Have you had many of them? If you’re married, are you satisfied? Did you make the moves or did your spouse have to initiate all the advances? Is it worth all the stress? Do you wish you were still single?
    I'm not married, I'm currently single, and I'd probably like being in a relationship, but I don't mind being single.

    My past relationships (about 3 of them, total) have never gone badly, just...boringly. I was never bored with the relationship, but eventually the girlfriend was. With one of them, it was because of long-distance. With my first girlfriend, it was because I was so nervous that now I was actually going out with her, I was afraid to lose her. We were both really shy, and didn't really risk doing anything romantic. So here, I can see where you say that "taking risks" might have saved a relationship.

    With that first girlfriend, I told her I loved her (only admitted it as she was breaking up with me), and I did mean it. It felt like it. But what did I know about love? This was my first relationship. Since it didn't work out, I don't know whether it was really love, and basically I tried to redefine it in my mind.

    Because I don't tend to take initiative in relationships, I'd probably be best with someone who starts things. I just never start things, in life, in general. Or am I just leaving the hard work to someone else? People will probably say I should find a middle ground.

    I remember with my first girlfriend, my best friend called her and made me talk to her--I hated that he did that. With the second one, I thought I made it clear, but (her being an ENFP) she didn't take "I like you" to mean the same thing I did. Miscommunication. With the third one, a friend of hers asked if I liked her, and said she wouldn't tell her. So when I asked her out a week later, she said "I know"--her friend had told her. Haha, this is a funny list.

    After these three, since then I've asked out a few more girls (about 3 more), all of whom have turned me down. I've basically come to the decision that it's not worth the effort to go out and get a relationship. It would be nice to have one--I guess, it would depend on a lot of things--but it's too much effort. The "emotional risk" doesn't factor in until you're deeper into the relationship, though of course one leads to the other. And if someone "came into my life", as the romantics put it, I wouldn't fight it. I'd probably be glad. Deep down, I'm a romantic, too. (I can tell from when I've been in a relationship, it's not non-existent.)

    Now, having been in a relationship (any other ISTJs been in one?), I can tell you it does feel pretty good. You probably guessed that from the way society, pop-culture, and others have been telling you for years. But I don't think it's so important that this quest should rule my life. I don't know how to put it clearly...
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  8. #28
    Member fishingdude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    I'm not married, I'm currently single, and I'd probably like being in a relationship, but I don't mind being single.
    This is my point exactly. I'm fine with my life the way it is. I know I'm not a risk taker and I'm fine with that too. And it's not neccessarily the risk taking that's a problem, it's the change. I'm not big on change unless I can predict the outcome and it's in my favor.

    I believe if I truly wanted to be in a relationship, I could be. This need for order in my life has prevented me from doing so thus far. I like to have my bases covered before proceeding with anything, else I feel out of control. There's girls in my life that I could definitely go out with, I just don't feel it's the right time. I don't like to do things half-way and I just don't want to get into it unless I can give it my all. If I can't finish what I start, then it's all just a waist of time for everyone involved.

    I look at love as an investment. And as I do with any investment, I research it thouroughly. I weigh the risks vs. the rewards. And that's all I'm doing in this thread.

    Cimarron, Bella, and raz have put in their two cents worth and I appreciate it. I feel like the perspective of another ISTJ's going to make more sense to me than any other types point of view.

  9. #29
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    677

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    It's a fact that every type including NTs are happier with a non-NT...
    Where did you get this fact? It's false for me.

    Because I don't tend to take initiative in relationships, I'd probably be best with someone who starts things. I just never start things, in life, in general. Or am I just leaving the hard work to someone else? People will probably say I should find a middle ground.
    Or else accept yourself and the probability that many great people will pass you by while you're stuck in passive gear.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  10. #30
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTx
    Posts
    10,552

    Default

    If it isn't a life priority, then it it doesn't sound like it is worth the trouble. You seem to have answered your own question.

Similar Threads

  1. Do you see the problem with typing others? Is it worth it?
    By Chancelade in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 01-23-2014, 07:37 PM
  2. The Die is Cast (about typing troubles)
    By Alea_iacta_est in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-26-2013, 01:50 AM
  3. Facebook parenting: For the troubled teen. What is your opinion?
    By swordpath in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 94
    Last Post: 09-25-2012, 07:13 PM
  4. [ISTJ] Why is Eeyore among the famous ISTJs?
    By NewEra in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 09-28-2010, 01:43 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO