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  1. #11

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    Considering love as a factor in personal growth, why isn't it a goal in itself for you?
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  2. #12
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fishingdude View Post
    Where do you find them at, in the yellow pages?
    The NT Rationale - Typology Central

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    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #13
    Member fishingdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    As for "is it worth the trouble?", what trouble?
    The stress. I get all stressed when something new comes along.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    no, he didn't want the job of holding up the world single-handedly, but dammit, he's got it and he's gonna do the best job possible!
    I can relate to this feeling.

    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Considering love as a factor in personal growth, why isn't it a goal in itself for you?
    It would be if I thought it was worth striving for. I don't see the majority of the world as happy in relationships, well marriages anyway.

  4. #14
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    I agree with whoever said that you sound more afraid to fail at love than to actually have the hassle of being in that state. I guess because you can't know/control teh outcome the you'd rather not try.

    Since you have never been there how do you know it's trouble (or that it will turn out badly)? Like Bella said you're taking your cue from drama versions of love. YOUR love doesn't have to be what you see on TV or hear in music.

    Regardless of what we all say, I think when you decide that your fear is less than your desire to love and be loved only then will you take the "risk" to fall in love.
    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I call it ENFP crazy eyes.
    "Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes--none knows whence--and cannot explain itself." -Mark Twain, Eve's Diary

    "Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it -- ashamed of our weakness, and embittered against the cause of its exposure, but no matter, we have to join in, there is no help for it." Mark Twain

  5. #15
    Member fishingdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIceTD View Post
    Since you have never been there how do you know it's trouble (or that it will turn out badly)?
    I don't. That's why I'm asking the ISTJs for their point of view.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fishingdude View Post
    The stress. I get all stressed when something new comes along.


    I can relate to this feeling.


    It would be if I thought it was worth striving for. I don't see the majority of the world as happy in relationships, well marriages anyway.
    Okay. Actually, I have a big mouth - I get stressed too, but I think it's the closeness that stresses me out, not so much the new-ness. And that is probably ISTJ combined with my very own personal dysfunction.
    Does closeness stress you out.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  7. #17
    Member fishingdude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Does closeness stress you out.
    Absolutely. I've always had a problem letting others get close. Never tried getting close to anyone else, other than friends and family of course.

  8. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by fishingdude View Post
    The stress. I get all stressed when something new comes along.


    I can relate to this feeling.


    It would be if I thought it was worth striving for. I don't see the majority of the world as happy in relationships, well marriages anyway.
    I wasn't aware happiness was relevant to personal growth... I'd say that the challenges of loving someone shapes us in new and better ways, but clearly it is not for the risk-averse. If you're content with gaining nothing, then risk nothing.

    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  9. #19
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fishingdude View Post
    Absolutely. I've always had a problem letting others get close. Never tried getting close to anyone else.
    Yes, it's very scary and much easier to just not try, even if that means being basically friendless.
    Lame, yes, but safe.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  10. #20
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    The making myself emotionally vulnerable part keeps me away from pretty much every girl. I weigh their impact on me before I do anything. If I feel threatened by their presence at all, I stand aside. That's why I've never found anyone.


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