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  1. #101
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    A lot of my problem is just that I don't understand when people are talking to you about their problems just to vent. I don't get it. Whenever someone complains to me, I either seek a solution, or tell them that their complaining doesn't help us accomplish what we're doing right now. Like, if a family member walks up to me with a problem, I'll think, "Ok, tell me everything about the problem. Let's get this over with quickly. I'll analyze the problem, and come to a logical conclusion that you probably won't like."
    Just nod your head and say "Yeah" a lot, maybe throw in an "oh wow" or something on occasion. It's not too hard.

  2. #102
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beat View Post
    Just nod your head and say "Yeah" a lot, maybe throw in an "oh wow" or something on occasion. It's not too hard.
    ^ lol truth.

  3. #103
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Raz, do you think you can socialize in real life more?
    Hmm? (pardon the pun!) What do you mean? Like...try to socialize irl more often?

  4. #104
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    Hmm? (pardon the pun!) What do you mean? Like...try to socialize irl more often?
    Yes. It gets easier the more you do it, and practice makes perfect.

  5. #105
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    Yes. It gets easier the more you do it, and practice makes perfect.
    I just feel stupid doing that, "I must go out and socialize....because being myself isn't good enough."

  6. #106
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    I just feel stupid doing that, "I must go out and socialize....because being myself isn't good enough."
    But nobody's perfect*.

    I'm cereal.

    (*that means, we all have flaws to work on and it's not a big deal to do so)

  7. #107
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    But nobody's perfect*.

    I'm cereal.

    (*that means, we all have flaws to work on and it's not a big deal to do so)
    Why do you think he should socialize more?

    I am interested in a position/opinion of someone with strong Fe about this kinds of things.

  8. #108
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
    But nobody's perfect*.

    I'm cereal.

    (*that means, we all have flaws to work on and it's not a big deal to do so)
    No, nobody is perfect. But how would you even define perfection? I'd say people seek perfection in certain aspects of their life. The perfection just comes about in a way different from the common perspective of perfection.

    Enough of that. Now, this is just making me wonder. Why am I chasing the idea of love? The idea of random socializing or dating doesn't appeal to me. It's not an easy skill for me to acquire, hence I haven't acquired the ability to chat up random people enough for them to want to talk to me after our initial meeting. Why should I even care, though?

    Is it really just so horrible for a person to be so immensely deliberative about it? I guess if I haven't had a relationship, and I don't find it a priority to seek people out on a daily basis outside of the oogling at attractive people, then there must be something wrong with me. I mean, other people view ISTJs as this secretive prude, apparently.

    It just begs the question of, what am I doing and why am I doing it?

  9. #109
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    Why should I even care, though?

    I think that's your answer. If you can't find a reason within yourself don't bother. You would only waste your time, not to mention the injury you'd inflict on the person who would think they are the object of your affection.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  10. #110
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    It was sparked by a conversation with someone last night and what CaptainChick was talking about with BlueWing in ventrilo yesterday afternoon. Basically she was talking about how she would spend too much time alone, and then when she went to socialize, she had major problems. It was all about how you shouldn't isolate yourself too much, or you won't experience "love" or I guess life.

    I guess, I've just tried going way out of my "normal" life to try to socialize based on what I know, or try to meet people, and usually it ended up with failure and me just feeling stupid. Right now, I'm on break between college semesters, and I am perfectly happy doing whatever the hell I want, instead of thinking there's something wrong with me for not out trying to find random people to talk to in real life that I really don't care about.

    I mean, all I do is pretty much read, screw around on my computer, exercise, work or go to school. I really like school because it does supply socializing but in controlled doses. Maybe I'll end college with no romantic headway. Maybe I'll meet someone amazing in 2 months.

    To me, someone I can quickly fall for is a person that proves themselves as a reliable partner for my practical duties and pursuits. It could be explained as just a partner in crime. For relationships, it's weird. It's like, I start getting to know someone, and then one day, a light turns on, and just decide, "Hey, I really do like this person" and then I just start treating them in a way that I deem reserved for those sorts of people. I want someone, who, when I look at them, it's like everything around them is dark and there's a spotlight on just them. I want the syncronicity of having a connection with another person, the admiration of another person's sharp intellect.

    A lot of my problem is just that I don't understand when people are talking to you about their problems just to vent. I don't get it. Whenever someone complains to me, I either seek a solution, or tell them that their complaining doesn't help us accomplish what we're doing right now. Like, if a family member walks up to me with a problem, I'll think, "Ok, tell me everything about the problem. Let's get this over with quickly. I'll analyze the problem, and come to a logical conclusion that you probably won't like."
    i know...you just don't get why people discuss things that aren't immediately relevant or have nothing to do with the current situation but other people do this quite a lot just to share what they are thinking about...maybe you could just get in the habit of asking...are you just venting or do you want my advice? I'm pretty sure girls do this a lot more then guys do too...we do this with each other and most of the time we're just venting...if we're not we'll say...what should i do?

    and about the other part...i can't really help so much. i think everyone wants that and sometimes it does happen that way but a lot of times what you are attracted to isn't what you really want or need...so that sparkly girl that you notice across the room...may be the exact opposite of the life partner you want so maybe pay more attention to the chicks without the spotlights.??

    that was my attempt at helping...sorry if it failed miserably.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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