The older I get

[Giggly]

The more quiet and shy I become. Why is this? I thought the opposite is supposed to happen.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Maybe you are collecting up too many things. Too many connections, obligations, reputations, negative experiences, etc.. And it's all starting to bare down on you in a way that makes you want to withdraw more and more.

I came up with that suggestion completely off the top of my head, by the way, so don't take it as sagely advice.

 

[Giggly]

Possibly.

I also am interested in learning more. And there seems to be so much to learn.

 

[Condor]

The more quiet and shy I become. Why is this? I thought the opposite is supposed to happen.

I can relate to the OP. Having been generally avoidant of people as much as possible, I haven't become "more" shy, but I definitely have become more quiet. I can relate to so little (and so few) in today's world, that there really isn't much for me to say.

 

[Totenkindly]

You would have to explain much more about what you're like now, what your environment is like, what in life makes you unsettled, etc., in order to come up with some strong possibilities.

Going by type alone, the whole bent of ISxJ (especially ISFJ, and double it seems especially when it's an ISFJ mom with kids) is to build a comfortable safe "nest" with an environment that can be controlled, and then live there, extending outwards when necessary into a more chaotic world. Once ISxJ people get that world built and get into a routine, they often have seemed happy just staying there and the need for engagement lessens.

If you are feeling bad or lonely or whatever else, though, and yet still feel powerless to reach outside that small "pocket world," then maybe there's something to examine more closely and then figure out ways to stretch.

I was extremely shy to the point of neurosis growing up; but the more I could accept myself and feel confident in my abilities to interact, the more I found myself doing it and enjoying it... although now I do find myself feeling exhausted by the interactions and still needing to retreat and be alone to recuperate.

 

[Athenian200]

The more quiet and shy I become. Why is this? I thought the opposite is supposed to happen.

It isn't quite that simple, actually. There are several reasons why this could be happening:

1. You felt some kind of pressure to engage more than you were comfortable with earlier in life, and you're just now sliding into a more natural level.

2. You've developed Si and Fe sufficiently, and now you're going through your Ti phase.

3. You've been experiencing increasing stress as you get older, and this results in a greater need to withdraw.

4. You've had negative experiences with interaction over time that have gradually disinclined you to engage in it.

5. Your energy levels have been decreasing with age, and you need more time to recharge than you did when younger.

 

[Kaizer]

The more quiet and shy I become. Why is this? I thought the opposite is supposed to happen.

maturity at its true level for an introverted person maybe?

is extroversion slightly more taxing now as compared to before mainly cause you're more aware of things?

Possibly.

I also am interested in learning more. And there seems to be so much to learn.

greater awareness leading to the need to know more because the more one learns the more one knows how lil one knows?

also, if you're a balanced ISFJ, and more sure that you're basically an introvert, then you're closer to knowing what an INTP might be like. Just something I've become slightly more aware of given maturity and awareness of the complimentary side of oneself.. maybe just maybe.

Also, this thread's title itself seems to indicate that its inspiration is based in sensory perception and feelings based judgment (both relatively speaking, are concrete and immediately known). Happiness is accompanied by sadness whereas the momentary feeling of joy isn't the long lasting presence of happiness.. its an in the moment exhilarating feeling. Knowing what happiness truly is, is a function of maturity and is definitely not what joy seems to be.

 

[Domino]

I think you're just not as "reactive" as you were when you were younger and inexperienced. For me, it was the opposite in many ways. I spent a great deal of my time clammed up and standing against the wall, with outbursts of stunning force. Now, I'm not so up-down because I've learned a few things and no longer go off like a roman candle as much.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

The more quiet and shy I become. Why is this? I thought the opposite is supposed to happen.

I don't know why, but it's happening to me, too. And I was pretty shy to begin with. Does it feel like you used to fight against it and now you don't care anymore?

 

[Domino]

Do you think it could be a natural pullback from the bombardment of the world? Demands of adverts, phone calls, pages, emails, etc. Exhaustion?

 

[Jack Flak]

Do you think it could be a natural pullback from the bombardment of the world? Demands of adverts, phone calls, pages, emails, etc. Exhaustion?

Wisdom.

 

[Giggly]

maturity at its true level for an introverted person maybe?

Maybe. I like the sound of that.

is extroversion slightly more taxing now as compared to before mainly cause you're more aware of things?

greater awareness leading to the need to know more because the more one learns the more one knows how lil one knows?

Yes.

also, if you're a balanced ISFJ, and more sure that you're basically an introvert, then you're closer to knowing what an INTP might be like. Just something I've become slightly more aware of given maturity and awareness of the complimentary side of oneself.. maybe just maybe.

Ooooooh, how interesting. You shouldn't have told me that. Now I'm gonna pretend like I'm an INTP whenever I feel like it now. Sweet!

Also, this thread's title itself seems to indicate that its inspiration is based in sensory perception and feelings based judgment (both relatively speaking, are concrete and immediately known). Happiness is accompanied by sadness whereas the momentary feeling of joy isn't the long lasting presence of happiness.. its an in the moment exhilarating feeling. Knowing what happiness truly is, is a function of maturity and is definitely not what joy seems to be.

^That was over my head. Can you explain that in a different way please?

I think you're just not as "reactive" as you were when you were younger and inexperienced. For me, it was the opposite in many ways. I spent a great deal of my time clammed up and standing against the wall, with outbursts of stunning force. Now, I'm not so up-down because I've learned a few things and no longer go off like a roman candle as much.

When I was a child I was shy and very quiet, and then when I got into my teens, I came out of my shyness quite a bit and talked a lot, but now I find myself back to being quiet and shy like how I felt when I was a kid again.

I don't know why, but it's happening to me, too.

You know why this is, right? RIGHT?!

Don't let me down, let me hear you say it!

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Agree with Athenian. Maybe you're just settling into your natural state of "introversion." I hate using MBTI lingo.

 

[Giggly]

Agree with Athenian. Maybe you're just settling into your natural state of "introversion." I hate using MBTI lingo.

I've been told for so long that introversion is bad though so this is why I'm uncomfortable with it.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I've been told for so long that introversion is bad though so this is why I'm uncomfortable with it.

Introversion by itself isn't bad at all. In some ways, it's great. There are things it might be associated with that are...unhealthy...like social anxiety, insecurity, low self-esteem, etc. But introversion itself, imo, can foster humbleness, contemplation, depth, and self-awareness. Celebrate that shit!

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Introversion by itself isn't bad at all. In some ways, it's great. There are things it might be associated with that are...unhealthy...like social anxiety, insecurity, low self-esteem, etc. But introversion itself, imo, can foster humbleness, contemplation, depth, and self-awareness. Celebrate that shit!

And to extend on that, we can also say that extraversion and extraverts often suck for a lot of reasons, too. So don't be afraid of your natural introversion, Hmm. It's no worse than any of the other traits.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

It's no worse than any of the other traits flaws you have.

FYP




jk!

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

You know why this is, right? RIGHT?!

Don't let me down, let me hear you say it!

Because WE ARE THE SAME PERSON.

 

[Giggly]

Because WE ARE THE SAME PERSON.

OOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAH. THAT'S IT.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Sadly, any scholar of Seinfeld can tell you that this means we are doomed to have a brief, torrid affair after which will will not be able to stomach the sight of each other. It's a shame, really.