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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by dloaded View Post
    What's types of behavior differences exist between an unhealthy ISFJ and an unhealthy ISFP?
    I will go along with the control issues and the inability to express rebellion at being controlled. Thinking is inferior, and intuition is shadow. Neither of which are F issues and will only be confronted when stuff-ups are analysed and self-understanding is applied. IS types are not onions and cannot be peeled back. It means nothing to them and it frightens them.


    Quote Originally Posted by dloaded View Post
    But he tests as an ISFP! And he shows a lot of ISFP tendencies in his daily, non-relationship related life.
    When I was young I tested and reported ISFJ. (I put that down to many reasons). Funny thing, you know, all my friends were ISFP's. Why? Because I think I was attracted to the adventurous side of the SP, and they were fun. Plus we could identify on a helluva lot of issues. And I think controlled ISFJ's would, in private, behave in a most ISFP way in order to both feel and express some personal freedom. Guardianship and trusteeship are burdens, you know.
    Speak Truthfully, Act Righteously

  2. #12
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dloaded View Post
    See, the problem is that there are signs from both types. So, he wants to control everything in his life, and hates it when things change, or when plans fall through. So, I think to prevent that from happening, he doesn't like to make plans. And, he is not future oriented at all. In fact, he only thinks of the immediate present, never considering the whole picture or remembering the relevant events from the past. But, he dwells on the past and never wants to deal with conflict. Oh, and about the above mentioned control issue? Yeah, he wants to feel in control, but practically digs his heals into the ground over the prospect of taking control! There are so many contradictions I don't know what go off of!
    Desire for control - SJ
    Dislike of some changes - SJ

    Lack of future orientation - SP/SJ (Can't be defined)
    Dwelling in the past - Major SJ
    Lack of taking control - SJ

    Overall he seems like an SJ in a major down phase. We are literally a walking contradiction when we aren't doing so well in life, walking aimlessly.

    We want to control the environment as we believe we can solve things by doing so. However during a down phase, the ISFJ's self-esteem and confidence is completely shot. This results in contradictory self-destructive behaviour where we believe that taking control is too difficult and that we will fail. As a result the ISFJ may resort to procrasting by delaying or avoiding the problem and engage in other activities "dwelling in the past" or "analysing the problem by looking at it's root" but never really taking it a step forward.


    Then again I could just be talking completely BS. I know I identify with this behaviour occasionally. SJs can be indecesive like SPs, however the major difference is that it'll cause more frustration on the SJs behalf being in this state unless they don't mind handing control away.

  3. #13
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dloaded View Post
    Well, I guess what I want to know is anything that will help me differentiate between an ISFJ and an ISFP. Based on what I've read in books as well as this forum, I have only grown more confused! There is a "What an unhealthy ISFJ looks like" thread, but no "...unhealthy ISFP" thread! I need to be able to compare! And I was hoping that would happen here, thinking perhaps a comparative analysis would ensue, where someone would say "In this scenario, an ISFP would do ________" and then someone else might say "an ISFJ would do __________ instead." So, for instance, how would an ISFP react in an argument with a significant other, versus an ISFJ? (On a side note: I wasn't really sure where to post this thread either, so that may have been my first mistake. )!
    Well, we could start one.

    What things might an unhealthy ISFP do in an argument?

    1. insist he's right no matter what the other person says that makes sense
    2. make lots of noise (slam doors, scream, throw things) as a distraction from the fact that he can't back up his argument with logic or common sense
    3. insist his feelings get honored before others'
    4. stubbornly cling to beliefs that no longer make sense and don't serve him well
    5. refuse to argue at all -- ie: go off in a huff and disappear, and after a while come back and act as if there was never any argument in the first place


    I believe "unhealthy" ISFPs tend to think in very a self-absorbed way about everything, including their relationships. Everything is All About Them, even if they don't project an arrogant persona (it's espeically unnerving if they don't project arrogance -- people think they're compliant, but they really aren't at all). Some unhealthy ISFPs can project a "poor little me" persona, which can be sickening and make others want to run from them. Others ignore others' advice and help at their own peril -- pretending to listen and then doing their own thing while not really thinking about the consequences of their actions, and when they get called on the carpet for it, they have trouble facing the consequences and resort to disassociating themselves from everything related to the experience. They can also allow their moods to take over their lives -- cater to them and confuse their feelings of the moment with their long-term beliefs.

    This webpage might help:

    ISFP Personal Growth

    Scroll down to the Potential Problem Areas list. I don't know how the ISFJs feel about their list, but here it is for comparison's sake: ISFJ Personal Growth


    Quote Originally Posted by dloaded View Post
    See, the problem is that there are signs from both types. So, he wants to control everything in his life, and hates it when things change, or when plans fall through. So, I think to prevent that from happening, he doesn't like to make plans. And, he is not future oriented at all. In fact, he only thinks of the immediate present, never considering the whole picture or remembering the relevant events from the past. But, he dwells on the past and never wants to deal with conflict. Oh, and about the above mentioned control issue? Yeah, he wants to feel in control, but practically digs his heals into the ground over the prospect of taking control! There are so many contradictions I don't know what go off of!
    Does he hate it when HIS plans fall through (thanks to other people not appreciating them) or does he hate not following the plans somebody else makes but that he's agreed with?

    Hope all this rambling helps!

    Sarah

  4. #14
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah View Post
    ?

    1. refuse to argue at all -- ie: go off in a huff and disappear, and after a while come back and act as if there was never any argument in the first place
    Guilty, I'm so avoidant sometimes.

  5. #15
    soft and silky sarah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Guilty, I'm so avoidant sometimes.
    Me too. I've done all of the things I just wrote about at various times in my life.

    I like to think I'm a healthy ISFP, but I can certainly act in unhealthy ways sometimes, much to my embarrasment later when I think about it. The older I get, the more I realize that "techniques" like distraction, pretending-there-was-no-argument, and creating smokescreens to hide the fact that I have no common sense backbone for my feelings just don't get me anywhere, nor would it help me if they worked even temporarily.

    Sarah

  6. #16
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    What would a healthy and an unhealthy ISFJ, ESFJ, and ESTJ look like. I am just curious because I am studying all of this because I am trying to understand both myself and others. I am especially trying to understand a former relationship that I once had many years ago because I tend to think that there are many similarities between me and an ex girlfriend, but at the moment I just cannot be sure.

    I have read her horoscope and my horoscope and I have been looking at the enneagram as well and I am trying to figure out as to how much truth and lies there is in it all. She is a pisces and I am a gemini and based upon what I have read in our horoscopes there does seem to be some truth to what they are saying, but I am not one to really believe in what astrology says as it is way too vague and that is why I am looking at both the MBTI and the enneagram to try to figure it out.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    If you know her birth time and your own, astrology can tell you more than either, but it's useless without that. You both have mutable suns, which is kind of P, but sun sign is not always the most obvious thing. Astrology is not vague at all; it's quite precise.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Flush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    If you know her birth time and your own, astrology can tell you more than either, but it's useless without that. You both have mutable suns, which is kind of P, but sun sign is not always the most obvious thing. Astrology is not vague at all; it's quite precise.
    01001001010011100100011001010000

  9. #19
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I'm sorry. That post I wrote was entirely useless.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I'm sorry. That post I wrote was entirely useless.

    Why do you say that?

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