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  1. #41
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    i do the whole online flirty thing too. i think i feel more comfortable knowing i'm not directly in front of the person saying the same things

  2. #42
    Junior Member Krwheel's Avatar
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    My guess is that when it's in text form it's more ambiuous and I feel like they can take flirting and pet names to mean whatever they want it to mean. Plus something that I've kinda learned is that when its more private it doesn't really idicate as much of a close relationship or interest. When it's public then it's more of an announcement that there is interest. And as an Introvert, who really wants to make their feelings public?

  3. #43
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krwheel View Post
    Plus something that I've kinda learned is that when its more private it doesn't really idicate as much of a close relationship or interest. When it's public then it's more of an announcement that there is interest.
    Really? I've learned the exact opposite.


    And as an Introvert, who really wants to make their feelings public?
    Yeah, I agree.

  4. #44
    Junior Member Krwheel's Avatar
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    The reason I say that private disclosures indicate less closeness is because that's what most communication experts will say. Now that's not to say that our as ISFJs our logic follows that, so if it doesn't, then that needs to be expressed. It's been found that when a couple does anything to indicate that there is a relationship publicly or around family and friends that they are comfortable acknowledging the relationship and are prepared to escalate. When it's all private it's easier to terminate the relationship and there's no collateral damage.

    I do think that as introverts we personally value the private stuff more, but it doesn't necessarily mean that things are getting close.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Habba's Avatar
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    I'm not really an ISFJ, but I still want to hear my own voice.. I mean I want to share my opinion with you.

    As seen above, ISFJ aren't much into flirting, mostly because they value secure, safe and close relationships over flashy, passionate and random. Being hopelessly romantic, they are mostly waiting for the Right One to find them, and be with them forever. Flirting doesn't fit there!

    This is also pretty much how I feel about flirting. I only flirt once in a stable relation, where I know my flirt will be answered and nothing can go wrong.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Warm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habba View Post
    I'm not really an ISFJ, but I still want to hear my own voice.. I mean I want to share my opinion with you.

    As seen above, ISFJ aren't much into flirting, mostly because they value secure, safe and close relationships over flashy, passionate and random. Being hopelessly romantic, they are mostly waiting for the Right One to find them, and be with them forever. Flirting doesn't fit there!

    This is also pretty much how I feel about flirting. I only flirt once in a stable relation, where I know my flirt will be answered and nothing can go wrong.
    I actually have the "Right One", one who happens to be a big FLIRT. lol This hurt me greatly for a while and still does bother me a bit now because it's in person and online, but he has toned it down so that "bothered" does not become "hurt" anymore. Make sense?

  7. #47
    Senior Member Warm's Avatar
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    Oh, um, by the way, my husband is an INFP. Go figure.

  8. #48
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Reading the responses from other SJ's in this thread has been comforting.

  9. #49
    Senior Member countrygirl's Avatar
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    I like to flirt, to tease and be teased but this is within a comfort level with that person and there would have to be boundaries so that my flirting in taken within context. In other words, I don't mind flirting with friends as long as they understand that it is going nowhere. Being married I don't tease unless it is my husband.

    Oddly enough, when I was younger, if I had a serious interest in someone I would not flirt with them in case my feelings would get hurt or until I felt emotional safe with them. If I had a serious case of lust for someone then I was very direct and straightforward in my interest and practically pursued the guy, I was never successful tho.

  10. #50
    Junior Member Krwheel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    I like to flirt, to tease and be teased but this is within a comfort level with that person and there would have to be boundaries so that my flirting in taken within context. In other words, I don't mind flirting with friends as long as they understand that it is going nowhere. Being married I don't tease unless it is my husband.

    Oddly enough, when I was younger, if I had a serious interest in someone I would not flirt with them in case my feelings would get hurt or until I felt emotional safe with them. If I had a serious case of lust for someone then I was very direct and straightforward in my interest and practically pursued the guy, I was never successful tho.
    Out of curiosity, since you're married and apparently something worked, what did work for you as an ISFJ to get into a relationship?

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