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  1. #1
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Default Assuming parents are SJs?

    Do we assume too much that parents are SJs?

    It is true that SJs are more common in society than the other 3 Temperaments. Most people think of SJs as "Guardians", so they naturally seem like a parental kind of figure, or some kind of guiding hand.

    But parents are parents, and there are certain things that they either have to do or are expected to do, right? Things that would make them seem SJ.

    So do we assume normal parental behavior to be SJ personality sometimes when it shouldn't be?
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Good question.
    I don't know, though.
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    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I think my mother is SJ and my father is NT.

    My mother is the better parent. By a long shot.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Do we assume too much that parents are SJs?

    It is true that SJs are more common in society than the other 3 Temperaments. Most people think of SJs as "Guardians", so they naturally seem like a parental kind of figure, or some kind of guiding hand.

    But parents are parents, and there are certain things that they either have to do or are expected to do, right? Things that would make them seem SJ.

    So do we assume normal parental behavior to be SJ personality sometimes when it shouldn't be?
    Well, statistically, you're going to find more SJs. There will be a lot of parents where at least one will be SJ and it will flavor the family heavily, especially if the other parent is a "flexy" type that lets the more conclusion-minded SJ parent set policy and run the show.

    But there's a lot of SJ behavior that is conducive to stability. So no matter what type you are, as a parent you need to be stable, consistent, have a firm safe place for the kids to grow, have steady income, keep a routine to SOME degree -- just a host of things that fit very well with SJ-style thinking. I did well in terms of my Ti and Fe skills (I have pretty good stable consistent strategy in terms of how to approach family and work and life, and some of the disciplined tasks I hate, even just balancing a checkbook, are still endorsed by Ti thinking -- "I can't get away with not doing it"; and the sensitivity to the needs of the family and its members creates a more stable emotional environment as well)... but I cannot be as disciplined or exacting (to me) as an SJ naturally is, it really kills me after awhile.

    The problem with SJ parents is that they naturally might not flex much and they'd have to be given very good reason to do so. P types will flex much more easily and will need to work on their J-ness a bit.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Jennifer, thanks. You've explained more fully what I was talking about in the OP. But it all leads us to the question, "How often do we correctly identify our parents as SJ, and how often do we see them displaying "SJ behavior" even though they aren't naturally SJ?

    Ooh, good edit. Thanks for your perspective as a non-SJ mom.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 11-10-2008 at 08:27 AM. Reason: saw your edit
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    But there's a lot of SJ behavior that is conducive to stability. So no matter what type you are, as a parent you need to be stable, consistent, have a firm safe place for the kids to grow, have steady income, keep a routine to SOME degree -- just a host of things that fit very well with SJ-style thinking.
    Yeah, I think this is it.

    I'd go even further and say that being put in a parental position can cause a non-SJ to adopt SJ behavior to the point of it becoming part of their personality.

    My Dad told me my Mom used to be a lot cooler back before they had kids.

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    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Let me try to rephrase it.

    We're all pointing out why "appearing" SJ and being SJ could be easily confused in parents.

    Now do you think it happens, and how much? I think there's not a large gap, but a small one.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Let me try to rephrase it.

    We're all pointing out why "appearing" SJ and being SJ could be easily confused in parents.

    Now do you think it happens, and how much? I think there's not a large gap, but a small one.
    Here is my thinking:

    Why does it matter how much we "think" it happens? It either does or does not, and we'd need data to confirm it.

    We're not even sure of the actual mix of individual types in a population (most of that data is very old). And it's hard to calculate marriage composition without direct data, even if we have individual type data -- since certain types tend to marry more than other types... but even if SJ's pair up, that would take more of them out of circulation to create a "mixed" marriage. Who knows?

    Since we don't really have data here to validate whether it's true, it seems sensible to explain why there's a probable bias towards SJ behavior regardless of type. I think it's FAR more likely that it's SJ-style behavior being witnessed here, rather than actual full-blown SJ parents.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Let me try to rephrase it.

    We're all pointing out why "appearing" SJ and being SJ could be easily confused in parents.

    Now do you think it happens, and how much? I think there's not a large gap, but a small one.
    I think whether or not they "appear" SJ would depend on if they were viewed outside their parental role or not. If, for example, they are away from their family and out with their peers and friends, they will drop the "parent" part of their personality.

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    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    I guess I didn't want to talk only about the SJ appearances that parenting will always tend to take because it's been discussed in parts and pieces many times before. But maybe the question is kind of useless when the discussion replaces the need for it. I don't know.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 11-10-2008 at 09:08 AM. Reason: counter-position
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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