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[SJ] Assuming parents are SJs?

BlackCat

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That makes me wonder what an NF vs. SJ parent is like. It seems like NT/SP aren't for parenting, but NF and SJ seem made for it.

SP parents are awesome, take it from me. My dad is a very healthy ISTP. I think the main issue with parenting and living with someone is the introvert vs extrovert factor, and also the perceiving vs judging factor. A highly extroverted person will annoy a highly introverted person if they are living together. A perceiver will probably be annoyed if the judger is highly preferred to judging and tries to push them around or motivate them. I have experienced this first hand, I cannot get along with my ENFP mom, but me and my dad have an awesome relationship with each other. My dad and I never annoy each other, and we pretty much understand how the other lives.
 

Nonsensical

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I think that it doesn't matter whether your a parent or not. In other words, every parent, so matter what type, must fullfill parental duties, so it's not the type of the parent, but what sort of repsonsibilties the parent must fullfill, which are broad, and usually people see them as SJ. My dad is an ENFP, my grandfather is an ISTJ and when I compare them, as parents, and not opposites, I see a lot in common- it's necessary to act like a parent.
 

Lauren Ashley

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That makes me wonder what an NF vs. SJ parent is like. It seems like NT/SP aren't for parenting, but NF and SJ seem made for it.

My father is INFP, my mother is ESFj. Growing up I definitely considered my mother the more able of the two when it came to practical things like picking me up after school or buying something I needed for a project. My father is the consummate dreamer and my mother prides herself on being his "anchor." But I could always count on him to discuss "intuitive" topics and I feel closer to him in that aspect. I recognized their separate strengths as a child and got the best of both worlds.
 

Mondo

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The one thing I don't understand here is why not NJ too?
What makes an NJ any less domineering and rules-loving than an SJ??
 

BlackCat

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The one thing I don't understand here is why not NJ too?
What makes an NJ any less domineering and rules-loving than an SJ??

Intuitives in general just dislike rules, especially if they can be modified to make more sense or be more reasonable. Some rules are necessary. As for domineering I don't see many intuitives being like that.
 

raz

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It might be great to have an SJ parent if they don't think their ENFP child is a strange alien.

It really depends what you think the ultimate goal of parenting is if you think people have to "act SJ" to "act like" a parent.

LOL @ strange alien. Poor ENFP children. At least now I'm informed if I ever have an ENFP child.

I think everyone can agree that parenting has a general set of guidelines, and then there are specifications for the child and their environment. A healthy parent will follow those general guidelines and be respectful of their child's individuality. I'm hoping you can agree that after those pre-requisites, a parent will add their own personal touch based on their personality. That's where type or temperament comes in.

My father is INTJ and my mother is ESFJ. My father focuses on teaching me to do things right. My mother focuses on teaching me to do the right things.
 

NewEra

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My father is NT, and my mother is NF. They're pretty strict.
 

Giggly

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It would be silly to assume that all (good) parents are SJ, just as it would be silly to assume that all prison inmates are non-SJ's.

hmmmmm... there's a question. :thinking: I wonder how many SJ's are prison inmates.
 

Anja

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I find it difficult to type my parents. They both seemed like STJs to me but I doubt, in retrospect, that my father was. Closet NFP, I think. And, as he, I was strictly trained to function as an STJ.

What do parents think of their differently-typed children? Only last week my mother told me something I never knew. She said that when I was young she was afraid of me because I seemed to be able to read her mind!

And, in the same conversation, she said that she didn't quite know what to do with me because I would bring up subjects that she had never thought about. These statements put several things about my early childhood into perspective for me.
 

JocktheMotie

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Dad, INTj; Mom, ESFP, a very unbalanced one so she might be something else.
 

Cimarron

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It would be silly to assume that all (good) parents are SJ.
Yes, that's true. But "parental" behavior, as most people see it, has a lot in common with typical SJ behavior. Because these behaviors may blend together, I thought people might mistake parents for SJs more often than they actually are.

Now that I've been on this site longer, I've seen a pretty proportionate spread of people talking about their SJ parents and non-SJ parents (meaning it fits more closely with SJ population percentage in the real world), so maybe I was little bit off.
 

Anja

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My father focuses on teaching me to do things right. My mother focuses on teaching me to do the right things.

This was a neat way to say it!

I can see the assumption, though, Cimarron. I thought both my parents were STJs until I started to learn more about type and spent a little time on this forum.
 
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