User Tag List

First 234

Results 31 to 36 of 36

  1. #31
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    I need a lot of reassurance and affection too. I also give a lot of reassurance and affection. I tend to feel most comfortable around those who see that as a good thing, rather than a bad thing.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    235

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I need a lot of reassurance and affection too. I also give a lot of reassurance and affection. I tend to feel most comfortable around those who see that as a good thing, rather than a bad thing.
    +1

    Needing reassurance and affection isn't the worst thing in the world. If you give it to us, we will give you our heart, soul, the moon and the stars. A small price to pay, I believe.

  3. #33
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    1,480

    Default

    She will give you all that but I will give you my credit cards, so whats it going to be?

  4. #34
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    235

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow View Post
    The one thing that I can find frustrating about my ISFJ boyfriend is how apologetic he can be. Actually, early on in the relationship we kept saying sorry to each other for the slightest things (I started doing it, which is unlike me, probably my politeness...) In the end we both agreed to stop ourselves from saying "sorry" if we ever felt we were going to say it. We still don't apologise to each other ! (except if it's really necessary!) We love each other, so clearly if we do something it wasn't to hurt the other.

    He does have low self-esteem, but I think it's grown in the three years I've been with him. Not saying this is in any way a result of being with me, but it's definitely happened. Funnily enough his work just sent him on a course where they evaluate your personality and how you come across to people (wish my work sent me on a course like that!!) They said he came across as negative about himself and had low self-esteem. It didn't surprise me at all to hear that, but it did make me sad.
    Thing is, what can you do? You can tell someone constantly how brilliant they are, while meaning it (I've been doing it for three years), but they need to feel good about themselves from within.

    If I'm brutally honest though, I wish he would stand up for himself more sometimes. I'm the sort of person who will always stand up for myself and it makes me feel really bad when he won't and really should. I wish he'd be more independent as well. He's still very close to his mum and almost follows her decisions in some ways, without actually thinking to himself whether it's best. She can be critical (INTJ) and I think he's always trying to prove his worth by gaining her love by doing/being what she wants.
    I've been very accepting because I know his family is really important to him, but I can't deny I'm starting to resent feeling dependent on his family by proxy. If anything will drive me away from him, it'll be this.
    The mom thing sounds just like my ex-husband. Drove me nuts! I'm independent by nature too and I couldn't stand it.

    We do suffer from lower self esteem, I think. Raising comes with time, security and figuring out who we are. Sometimes counseling helps. Self help books are good too. I've read more than a few in my time. I used to have issues standing up for myself when I was younger. Now, I do it automatically.

    ISFJs aren't the only ones to do this though. I remember when I first moved in my fiance (INFP) and we were picking out a shower curtain for our bathroom. He wanted to call and get his sister's opinion. I was like "What?? Why would you do that?!" He was so used to getting her opinion on everything. That used to annoy me like crazy. He doesn't do it anymore, Thank God! Although I think she resents me for "taking her brother away" because he doesn't rely on her anymore and she liked it when he did.

    I think I went off topic!:1377:

  5. #35
    Senior Member Lambchop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    235

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JTG1984 View Post
    She will give you all that but I will give you my credit cards, so whats it going to be?
    Nice...you one upper!

    I'd give you my credit card too, but it's maxed out and worthless!

  6. #36
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    iSFj
    Enneagram
    2 sx/so
    Posts
    9,666

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lambchop View Post
    Nice...you one upper!

    I'd give you my credit card too, but it's maxed out and worthless!

    Haha you're a crackup, Lambchop.

Similar Threads

  1. Video: What an INTJ loves about being married to an ISFJ
    By highlander in forum Typology Videos and RSS Feeds
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-06-2015, 10:04 PM
  2. [ISFJ] How to ask an ISFJ out?
    By Grungemouse in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-08-2009, 07:04 PM
  3. [ISFJ] Attempt at an ISFJ profile?
    By chimpuloc in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 11-19-2008, 10:54 PM
  4. [ISFJ] ISFJ Male Vanity
    By illume in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 11-15-2008, 11:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO