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  1. #51
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Yes. The joke does more than cheer up the ISFJ, though, it reassures them that you appreciate and want to be in harmony with them. It's a social symbol of benevolent intent.
    Oh! I never understood it that way.

  2. #52
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Yeah, it basically says "we are on good enough terms to joke around together, and I want to get along with you."
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #53
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Yeah, it basically says "we are on good enough terms to joke around together, and I want to get along with you."
    Isn't Fe fun?

    Just think of yourself as a big beacon, and you are projecting your overall intentions to everyone around you by what you say and do.

    So you can tell jokes, not to necessarily be funny, but to break the ice and signal to everyone else that you are open and willing to engage and wanting to have "fun."

    (That is the extreme end of it, but that's basically what is going on in a social setting.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #54
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Isn't Fe fun?

    Just think of yourself as a big beacon, and you are projecting your overall intentions to everyone around you by what you say and do.

    So you can tell jokes, not to necessarily be funny, but to break the ice and signal to everyone else that you are open and willing to engage and wanting to have "fun."

    (That is the extreme end of it, but that's basically what is going on in a social setting.)
    Yeah, for the most part. I would advise the other poster to be casual about it, though. An NT (J, anyway) making a joke for social purposes sometimes can smack of "I AM MAKING A JOKE FOR SOCIAL PURPOSES NOW." Which just makes an ISFJ wonder what they're being buttered up for. It loses its effect when you can see through it. It's like going behind the curtain at Disney World, or seeing an android's circuitry, or something.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  5. #55
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Yeah, for the most part. I would advise the other poster to be casual about it, though. An NT (J, anyway) making a joke for social purposes sometimes can smack of "I AM MAKING A JOKE FOR SOCIAL PURPOSES NOW."
    LOL -- well, yeah!

    (It reminds me of Data on ST:TNG, trying so hard to be "human.")

    Still, nuance comes with practice.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #56
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    And actually, come to think of it, sometimes I can see through my NT husband's attempts to de-ice me with a joke, but it's okay because I can tell he is making an effort.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #57
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Yeah, for the most part. I would advise the other poster to be casual about it, though. An NT (J, anyway) making a joke for social purposes sometimes can smack of "I AM MAKING A JOKE FOR SOCIAL PURPOSES NOW."
    Mmmm. Doesn't the fact that I was surprised by your interpretation of a joke means that it's usually not done (by me, at least) for social purposes?

    So you can tell jokes, not to necessarily be funny, but to break the ice and signal to everyone else that you are open and willing to engage and wanting to have "fun."
    Uh what?

  8. #58
    Senior Member Shimpei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartan View Post
    posts No 47 and 48
    Very very well said!

  9. #59
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Mmmm. Doesn't the fact that I was surprised by your interpretation of a joke means that it's usually not done (by me, at least) for social purposes?
    Oh yes. I actually flaked on the thread and thought briefly that we were giving advice to Maverick who wanted to know how to better get along with an ISFJ but reading back over it I see that this is not the case.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  10. #60
    Aspie Idealist TaylorS's Avatar
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    My mom's an ISFJ and she is generally fairly flexible as long as you follow two rules:

    1. Treat people fairly and with honesty

    2. Obey proper social protocol.

    3. Keep things clean

    She also can be picky about home decor, she's always bothered about the very utilitarian arrangement of the stuff in my apartment.
    Autistic INFP


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