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Thread: INTJ + INTJ relationships.

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    Junior Member Array nothingunusual's Avatar
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    Default INTJ + INTJ relationships.

    I've read that in romantic relationships, INTJs tend to seek out others with similar character traits.

    I can't deny this - being the egomaniacal, misanthropic and alienated INTJ that I am. But seeing as we're so often social cripples and rare and elusive one's at that, it very often feels like a lost cause. Imagining that both parties also share the inability to flirt (never mind recognize it), but at the same time too awkward to skip the subtleties get to the point.

    And lets say they get past that hurdle. How would a relationship of this nature go down, I wonder? Does anyone have any stories about INTJ/INTJ relationships?

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    HAHHAHHAH! Array INTJ123's Avatar
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    no, I tend to seek different types, I like fun loving spontaneous people, but not retards. INTJ + INTJ is boring, it's ok as friends sometimes but still overall boring.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nothingunusual View Post
    I've read that in romantic relationships, INTJs tend to seek out others with similar character traits.
    In a poll on INTJf there were 112 people out of 650 in a relationship with an INTJ (not everyone who answered the poll was an INTJ though). Depending on your perspective that's a lot (10%+ and double the next highest result in the poll) or a little (since the rest were in relationships with other types).

    I fall into the "opposites attract" camp since I'm married to an ESFJ. I certainly wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like me.

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    Senior Member Array RenaiReborn's Avatar
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    I have stories of INTJ/INTJ flirtation, which bordered right on the precipice of falling into a relationship. However, I did read in an article that while there is a sort of mutual respect between INTJ males and females, the INTJ female will tend, more often than not, to seek an INTJ male consistently, while the males will seek those with highly different personalities in their youth (which wasn't subsequently defined by the article in question).

    So, to answer your question: What if they get past that hurdle?

    Well, assuming they don't both end up despising each other's stubborn opinions, and that one or both (preferably) are more in touch with their emotions and one or both (preferably) are willing to come to compromise on some things, they could have a very fulfilling relationship. In all seriousness, though, I believe that any two mature, well-developed individuals are able to make a relationship work (that is, not taking into account type, which makes a natural inclination/attraction towards a particular individual more pronounced).

    An INTJ/INTJ relationship would be very interesting, to say the least. Perhaps difficult at times, depending on the individuals, but what else is new?

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    I think INTJ's are so funny when they're looking for a romantic companion. It's like they have this detailed, three page checklist in their heads and have no qualms about ruling out 99% of the population.

    I just told my INTJ friend that he should consider dating this other INTJ I know. He observed her from afar and came back to me, rather annoyed, with a list of reasons why he wouldn't consider dating her. Even though he never actually talked to her and they have a lot in common. Eh, I dunno. Last time I try to matchmake for an INTJ.

    It makes sense to me that INTJ's would do well together, especially since they tend to have such high standards for competence, would want someone who understands the need for independence and time alone, and would likely enjoy someone with a similar sense of humor.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

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    Once Was Array Synarch's Avatar
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    Sounds like two robots clanking together.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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    half mystic, half skeksis Array jenocyde's Avatar
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    I agree with the robots clanking, but disagree about the flirtation. INTJ flirting can put an ExxP to shame, when they are motivated to do so. Hot damn.

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    Senior Member Array BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jewelchild View Post
    I think INTJ's are so funny when they're looking for a romantic companion. It's like they have this detailed, three page checklist in their heads and have no qualms about ruling out 99% of the population.

    I find they don't usually let that go until they actually attain the person who meets their qualifications and realize the theory is a better fit than the human being.

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    WTF is this dude saying? Array A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    I know an INTJ-INTJ couple and their relationship is volatile.
    Their both passionate but it comes out through bouts of anger. Also they both have walls built up and have troubles letting each other through. Sort of a game of power.

    It's not horrible, although they're in a less than ideal situation (long distance) they both love each other, which is more than can be said for a lot of couples.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

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    soulflower take me flying Array Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Wouldn't two INTJs dating be the relationship equivalent of crossing the streams?

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