User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 61

  1. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    4

    Default

    I think it might be helpful to mention that the OP's boyfriend may actually just be a jackass. It does happen, even to INTPs.

  2. #12
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sollas View Post
    I think it might be helpful to mention that the OP's boyfriend may actually just be a jackass. It does happen, even to INTPs.
    yes, you can't dismiss the Jackass Factor up front, some people are just jerks.

    There is a lot here to read, I'll have to log back in later tonight after I get through it all.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #13
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    787

    Default

    Maturity, or rather the lack of it, might be it Maturity (psychological - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

    Sarah's comment might be very relevant here N+S, N+N, S+S...?

    I'd recommend getting him to read up on developing INTPs inferior function Fe and awareness of the shadow. It might be as easy as making him aware of it and only to a certain extent where from onwards he'll just go down the road so he can understand the stuff by when the growth induced change will occur naturally or deliberately naturally so to say.
    The answer must be in the attempt
    avy url : natgeocreative Photo

  4. #14
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    He isn't father-of-your-child material.
    INTPs shouldn't be allowed to have children.

  5. #15
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    787

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    INTPs shouldn't be allowed to have children.
    Last edited by Kaizer; 10-25-2008 at 04:45 AM.
    The answer must be in the attempt
    avy url : natgeocreative Photo

  6. #16
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    xkcd
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INT_
    Posts
    10,733

    Default

    It is possible your INTP is actually ISTP. Nothing certain, just a few things you've written about him. Doesn't mean he's better or worse than an INTP (jackasses come in all flavors) but you might be misinterpreting his actions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine8 View Post
    I am most worried about how he will be as a parent. Are any of you fathers? How did you cope with having to support a partner through labour? Were you interested in the pregnancy and tried to be involved? Do you see that it takes two to raise a kid or are you off in another world while your partner looks after all of the day-to-day stuff? I have this horrible vision of being at the hospital and him checking his watch and getting impatient because he has more important things to do. Would that happen? Can an INTP be happy to support others at least in big things like that? I just don't think I can be trying to cater to his needs while I am going through something like that - I would rather have my sisters and mother with me instead!
    I'm having a kid early next year, and I like to think I'm involved. Now if you can just convince my wife we don't need a canopy crib...

  7. #17
    Member Sunshine8's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    42

    Default Thanks to all for comments

    Thanks for taking the time to respond. Yeah, I think what you have said in general make a lot of sense.

    It is very possible that he has been angry with me and not expressing it, and instead the resentment is leaking out by trying to undermine me at times. His friends have all taken to me really well, and they often make comments to him like 'this one's a keeper' etc. In fact they usually spend more time talking to me than him. It makes sense that he might be trying to wrestle with me to keep me 'in my place'. A view supported by his comment about me having more fun with my friends then with him. I think there is some internal confilict going on there.

    It is also very possible that even on the best of days I cannot expect him to naturally be a great listener because he has a lot going on upstairs already. If we stay together long term I perhaps use that suggestion of ...'OK - attention here!' etc. I guess I need to work out whether that is really going to work for me - it is a bit lonely to feel like the person 'most present', and I think all too easy to play parent in the absence of equal input. And he would hate to be parented I am sure.

    One thing that makes me a bit melancholy in a higher, philosophical sense, is to think that deep down he has quite strong feelings for me, but I just never get to see them. Perhaps I never will.

    Does that ever get INTP's down in converse? Do you ever feel trapped within yourself? Does that make you lonely?

    I think I am resentful because In a way, our love affair is being enjoyed by him on two fronts. He has my positivity and nurturing on the outside, while he has his own internal energy facing into himself about this sensations and feelings. And I am left neglected except for my family and friends (thank god for family). Perhaps that is a jaded way to see it. If I try to meet him more on an impersonal level through dicussions about current affairs that is a connection. But how on earth does ANYONE stay together long term? Do you just give up on that connection and live more separate lives? Am I better off being business-like with my BF? I am starting to sound nuts.

    Oh stuff it - I will try to be positive about it all - because perhaps with time and greater trust there will be more connection. And if there isn't I can always just get into my painting and tell all men to bugger off!

    Jokes

    Thanks again!
    Last edited by Sunshine8; 10-23-2008 at 08:55 PM. Reason: Spelling,

  8. #18
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    xkcd
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INT_
    Posts
    10,733

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine8 View Post
    One thing that makes me a bit melancholy in a higher, philosophical sense, is to think that deep down he has quite strong feelings for me, but I just never get to see them. Perhaps I never will.

    Does that ever get INTP's down in converse? Do you ever feel trapped within yourself? Does that make you lonely?
    Yes and yes.

    Maybe he's not mature enough to give back yet. How old is he?

  9. #19
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    ENFJ + INTP!!!

    As other's have stated I've yet to meet one I didn't like. Mostly the honest ones though... the one's requiring some psychic content to a person can be a pain in the backside to train

    One thing I do note though is quite often I listen to an ENFJ in mid rant about something (not always a rant but the lists/ brainstorming sometimes seem so similar) and figure out that half of what they're saying is fairly irrelevant, IMO, and so I just listen and nod at appropriate points waiting for the crux of the issue. Perhaps he is doing this whilst reading the newspaper?

    As for feelings, big hint... if he's thinking about you and including you in his plans and calculations then that IS him caring. I think it's more to do with brain space with INTPs than heart space most days. If he's thinking about you half of the time then that's fairly equivalent to some other's missing you half the time. Hence don't think in terms of "I wonder if he missed me today" but instead of "I wonder if he thought about me today".

    This could just be me of course....
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  10. #20
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INTp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    787

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    ENFJ + INTP!!!

    As other's have stated I've yet to meet one I didn't like. Mostly the honest ones though... the one's requiring some psychic content to a person can be a pain in the backside to train
    have had a similar experience here. most grounding for me, most 'deep and meaningful' for the ENFJ & the F element made em more aware of it earlier.
    The answer must be in the attempt
    avy url : natgeocreative Photo

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTJ] I need some help from some ISTJs!
    By Swiko in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-27-2013, 11:06 AM
  2. [MBTItm] I need some advice from ISTJs, INFJs... or anyone, really.
    By Faine in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 05-19-2011, 07:12 AM
  3. [Ti] I'd like some input from Ti users.
    By daftpunkcrunk in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 12-09-2010, 05:58 PM
  4. [INFJ] INFJs, I need some input
    By Undeadtom in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 07-19-2009, 11:13 PM
  5. Grad School Interview!!!! Need Some Input
    By WithoutaFace in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-05-2009, 03:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO