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  1. #31
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    At least 150 BHP and manual or we wont talk !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #32
    Senior Member MiasmaResonance's Avatar
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    Mental and emotional intimacy.
    Trust.
    A fair bit of humour and funnziez.. ;o
    Respect.
    Unconditional wuv. :blushing:
    Last edited by MiasmaResonance; 03-23-2010 at 05:08 AM.
    "A spill at the plant increased the phosphates in the lake and produced a scum of algae so thick that the swamp smell filled the air, infiltrating the genteel mansions. Debutantes cried over the misfortune of coming out in a season everyone would remember for its bad smell."

  3. #33
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    love
    a respect for differences
    space
    non-materialistic partner
    speak my language - pretty much have to be an N
    intelligence/competence
    mutual interests, which goes beyond hobbies. It's better if we like things for similar reasons than that we like the same things.
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  4. #34
    Senior Member burymecloser's Avatar
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    Goodness, this is an old thread, isn't it? I've stolen/modified a couple points from Jennifer's 2008 [!] OP.

    Honesty/Trust/Reliability

    Deliberately lie to me, or break a promise even accidentally, and we have a serious problem. If you don't know, admit it. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you won't do something, don't.

    Intimacy

    I need to feel special, even unique, in a relationship. I think it's normal and healthy that we'll do things separately sometimes, but I don't want to feel like there are parts of your life I'm totally closed out from. Share your life with me, so I feel like a true partner. This can be done in any number of different ways, but show me you care about me.

    Mutual Respect

    I want a partner, not a surrogate parent. Don't assume that you know what's best for me, but don't withhold advice, complaints, or constructive criticism. Listen to me, respect my idiosyncracies, and do your best (within reason) to accomodate my requests. Share responsibilities with me. Conduct yourself like an adult (at least most of the time ).

    Consideration/Empathy/Interest in others

    I'd need to believe that my partner was fundamentally a good person, interested in the well-being of others.

    Some degree of mutual interests

    We need to have something to talk about and things we can do together. It would be particularly helpful if we like at least some of the same food, movies, and music. Similar political leanings would probably be helpful, and drastically opposed ideas a likely deal-breaker. Similar sense of humour might be hard to do without.

    ---
    There are probably important things I'm forgetting, but honestly, I think the easiest way to sum this up is with the one characteristic I cannot tolerate in an otherwise good person: carelessness. If you're reasonably bright, reasonably nice, genuinely interested in physical and emotional intimacy, and not habitually careless, it's likely that we could be happy together.

  5. #35
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burymecloser View Post
    Goodness, this is an old thread, isn't it?

    Deliberately lie to me, or break a promise even accidentally, and we have a serious problem. If you don't know, admit it. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you won't do something, don't.
    This seems a bit harsh. I mean, it's going to happen. Maybe you don't mean this to sound as serious as it is, but are you going to dump someone because they forgot to get you from the airport or from school? Or because they didn't mail something? I mean you have to accept that people make mistakes. Or really like being alone.
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  6. #36
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    It would depend on what "promise" refers to here. I'm not sure that "forgot to get you or mail you something" is the sort of promise being considered.

    PS. Okay, this is getting freaky, seeing posts I made year(s) ago and don't remember making.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #37
    Luctor et emergo Ezra's Avatar
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    A relationship to me consists of:


    • Loyalty
    • Dedication
    • Respect
    • Faith
    • Trust

    Well, that's what love is to me. Besides those things, you need a partner you can feel absolutely 100% comfortable around, who you really truly enjoy spending a lot of your time with, who you can share your life with. Also, great sex isn't a must, but it is an important part of a healthy relationship. Sense of humour etc are added bonuses. But come on, 98% of people have a sense of humour, so it really isn't a great criterion for choosing a partner.

    If you get all that, you should probably marry the person.

  8. #38
    Senior Member burymecloser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burymecloser View Post
    Deliberately lie to me, or break a promise even accidentally, and we have a serious problem. If you don't know, admit it. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you won't do something, don't.
    Quote Originally Posted by hilo View Post
    This seems a bit harsh. I mean, it's going to happen. Maybe you don't mean this to sound as serious as it is, but are you going to dump someone because they forgot to get you from the airport or from school? Or because they didn't mail something? I mean you have to accept that people make mistakes. Or really like being alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It would depend on what "promise" refers to here. I'm not sure that "forgot to get you or mail you something" is the sort of promise being considered.
    Jennifer's right. I feel like promises are serious business. Does someone really say, "I promise I'll pick you up that day," or is it more, "Sure, I can pick you up"? I don't think people usually makes promises about trivial stuff. If my partner offers to, yeah, pick up dinner or something, and forgets, that's not a big deal. I'm making a distinction between things like simple forgetfulness and giving your word on something you might not be able to deliver on.

    If you tell me you'll grab the mail or stop by the grocery and you forget, that's human. As long as it doesn't happen all the time, I don't think it's a big deal. If you promise me you'll do something, and break your promise, that's a breach of trust I'll have a very hard time overcoming. I'm assuming that we don't make promises about trivial, everyday matters. I'm prepared to forgive accidental untruths and simple forgetfulness. What I have a problem with is deliberate deceit, habitual unreliability, or breaking one's word. There's a difference in my mind between saying, "I will do x," and "I promise I will do x."

    I would be kind of pissed if someone forgot to pick me up from the airport (the closest one is 45 minutes' drive if there's any traffic), but it's not the sort of thing I would break up with someone over. That said, if the person gave their word, literally promised to pick me up, and failed to, I would have serious questions about this person's general trustworthiness and thoughtfulness. Someone whose word is unimportant to them is probably not someone with whom I can have a healthy long-term relationship. And seriously, who forgets what day their SO is getting home? If my partner forgets when I'm getting into town, I don't think we have much of a relationship.

    It might also be worth mentioning that I make long-term partners aware of how seriously I take this. If they do actually say "I promise" about trivia, I'll discourage them from doing so around me, or if they make a promise I doubt they can keep, I may immediately point out to them what they've just said and give them a chance to retract it. I hold myself to the same standard, btw. I rarely make promises and haven't broken one since I was a little kid.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    PS. Okay, this is getting freaky, seeing posts I made year(s) ago and don't remember making.
    What would be really freaky, IMO, is if you remembered all 18,550 of them.

  9. #39
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    In my relationships/female partner I value (and many of these things are outright requirements) rationality (including stuff like atheism and skepticism), introversion, curiosity, not wanting children, shared interests (likes science/technology, interesting hypothetical scenarios, cool engineering, etc) and values (pro-science/technology, transhumanist, wanting freedom for other sapient beings, honesty, etc), intelligence, intellectualism (in the sense that they like thinking), knowledge, being sexually compatible (not interested in anal, equal relationship, enough birth control to avoid the aforementioned children, no STDs, etc), creativity/being able to think outside the box, independence, physical attractiveness (hard to quantify, I'll know it when I see it, but I'm pretty sure I find thin girls more attractive), otherwise compatible (doesn't want to waste time/money on trivial nonsense, not constantly demanding attention (although I'd happily give my ideal plenty), etc) and lacking the sorts of basic horrible stuff (good hygiene, not secretly a rapist, etc).

    To illistrate my point the character from fiction which best fits my ideal, assuming she does not want (human) children, is Kimiko Ross.

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