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Thread: INTP + ESTJ

  1. #1
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    Default INTP + ESTJ

    Can someone explain how this combination is successful for the MBTI compatibility?

    I was under the assumption that it is usually unfavored for a 'Sensing' and an "Intuitive" to be a couple in a relationship as communication is usually different. How is that this is one of the few exceptions?

    I notice that on most websites it'll keep the second letter and change the rest, or been the two middle and change the others.

    My sister and her BF and INTP/ESTJ so I was just curious.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by tenINsFJ View Post
    I was under the assumption that it is usually unfavored for a 'Sensing' and an "Intuitive" to be a couple in a relationship as communication is usually different. How is that this is one of the few exceptions?
    N-S communication is different from N-N communication, make no mistake about it, but it can be rewarding. I still haven't met an SJ, however, who I was on the same wavelength with. It's always
    "No, no, I meant x"
    "Huh?"
    "x like x, you see"
    "Oh yeah, x, lol"
    "No, no, I meant x."

    Ad infinitum.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Haven't seen this one in a romantic relationship before, but I would imagine the communication wouldn't be the best based on the little I have observed among friends.

    The INTPs I know like the ESTJs ok (and by "like" I mean do not mind). They get a little tired of the details, but they somehow find a way to appreciate the knowledge of the ESTJ. On the other hand, the ESTJs that I know think the INTPs are odd, but they would never say so out loud.

    This relationship doesn't appear to be problematic unless the INTP breaks a social rule the ESTJ has dubbed as "the way things ought to be." Although, again, I don't know that they would ever talk about it.

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    INTP + ESTJ?


    FUCK NO


    Any INTP that can stand ESTJs (except for the rare mature ones with insight) is a better INTP than me.

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    Senior Member Array Kora's Avatar
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    I don't believe in this 'opposites attract' thing.
    5w4 - Idiosyncratic/Leisurely/Dramatic
    It's the devil's way now.

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    Babylon Candle Array Venom's Avatar
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    what about ENTJ + INTP? technically I think the ISTP is the ENTJ back up/relief, in the same way that the ESTJ is to the INTP. there could be iNtuitive common ground with an ENTJ and INTP.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array zago's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tenINsFJ View Post
    Can someone explain how this combination is successful for the MBTI compatibility?

    I was under the assumption that it is usually unfavored for a 'Sensing' and an "Intuitive" to be a couple in a relationship as communication is usually different. How is that this is one of the few exceptions?

    I notice that on most websites it'll keep the second letter and change the rest, or been the two middle and change the others.

    My sister and her BF and INTP/ESTJ so I was just curious.
    Of all the type combinations out there, INTP/ESTJ may be the worst possible one. In a general sense, of course. It isn't so much the sensing vs. intuition problem, it is more the Te vs. Ti that causes a problem. They are simply in direct opposition to one another. Te wants to do things efficiently, together, and "the right way." Ti doesn't want efficiency, it wants minimum effort.

    So, when my ESTJ roommate took out the garbage every day when it wasn't even full and then got mad at me for never taking it out, the problem was that I figured why take it out if it isn't full? From Te's perspective, taking the garbage out is just something you do as a part of being a responsible home owner. From Ti's perspective, taking the garage out becomes a priority when the cost of not taking it out exceeds the benefit of not taking it out. If you can't stick something in the can without it falling out, it is time to take out the trash.

    This simple illustration tends to be the pattern for all things in the relationship between the ESTJ and the INTP, in my experience. It is also nicely shows how introverted and extroverted judgment work. Introverted thinks of things as they are directly linked to physical reality--a completely timeless way of seeing things. Extroverted judgment is conceptual and based on rules and norms--defined by the culture that is taking place at the moment.

    Interestingly, it is the opposite way for perception, making Ne and Se the ones directly linked to physical reality, and Ni and Si the conceptual ones based on people's overlying perceptions.

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    My dad is an INTP. My mum is an ESTJ. They've been married for 21 years now.

    Needless to say, there is a bit of conflict where household chores are concerned. While my dad wants to get out and do the lawn, my mum wants to sit him down and make a list of chores that are to be shared equally between them. My dad throws a "you're trying to control me" tantrum and stomps off. My mum follows asuit, hurling antagonistic remarks that only to be deflected off his brick wall of sulkiness. Having no control over him, her micro-managing skills are diverted to me, who decides to retreat to my bedroom. This is pretty much the saturday afternoon ritual, every week.

    Overall, they get on very well. Except in recent circumstances, where my dad has bought a motorcycle despite my mum's disapproval. She's trying to control the situation in her own way, like hiding the keys so he can't ride it until Christmas.
    Um, yeah.

  9. #9
    Emerging Array Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zago View Post
    Of all the type combinations out there, INTP/ESTJ may be the worst possible one. In a general sense, of course. It isn't so much the sensing vs. intuition problem, it is more the Te vs. Ti that causes a problem. They are simply in direct opposition to one another. Te wants to do things efficiently, together, and "the right way." Ti doesn't want efficiency, it wants minimum effort.

    So, when my ESTJ roommate took out the garbage every day when it wasn't even full and then got mad at me for never taking it out, the problem was that I figured why take it out if it isn't full? From Te's perspective, taking the garbage out is just something you do as a part of being a responsible home owner. From Ti's perspective, taking the garage out becomes a priority when the cost of not taking it out exceeds the benefit of not taking it out. If you can't stick something in the can without it falling out, it is time to take out the trash.

    This simple illustration tends to be the pattern for all things in the relationship between the ESTJ and the INTP, in my experience. It is also nicely shows how introverted and extroverted judgment work. Introverted thinks of things as they are directly linked to physical reality--a completely timeless way of seeing things. Extroverted judgment is conceptual and based on rules and norms--defined by the culture that is taking place at the moment.

    Interestingly, it is the opposite way for perception, making Ne and Se the ones directly linked to physical reality, and Ni and Si the conceptual ones based on people's overlying perceptions.
    I love this anecdote. I think both parties would be driven nuts because they'd be determined that their way made the most sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    My dad is an INTP. My mum is an ESTJ. They've been married for 21 years now.

    Needless to say, there is a bit of conflict where household chores are concerned. While my dad wants to get out and do the lawn, my mum wants to sit him down and make a list of chores that are to be shared equally between them. My dad throws a "you're trying to control me" tantrum and stomps off. My mum follows asuit, hurling antagonistic remarks that only to be deflected off his brick wall of sulkiness. Having no control over him, her micro-managing skills are diverted to me, who decides to retreat to my bedroom. This is pretty much the saturday afternoon ritual, every week.

    Overall, they get on very well. Except in recent circumstances, where my dad has bought a motorcycle despite my mum's disapproval. She's trying to control the situation in her own way, like hiding the keys so he can't ride it until Christmas.
    Oof. Yeah, I couldn't be married to a micromanager.

    As to the ENTJ/INTP question earlier, I'd be very surprised if a male ENTJ/female INTP couple would work at all. I've noticed that most of the male ENTJs around here aren't looking for a mindmate so much. They're looking for a more traditional, "softer," uber-supportive woman.

  10. #10
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    As to the ENTJ/INTP question earlier, I'd be very surprised if a male ENTJ/female INTP couple would work at all. I've noticed that most of the male ENTJs around here aren't looking for a mindmate so much. They're looking for a more traditional, "softer," uber-supportive woman.
    Well, if your goal is world domination you only have so much time that must be dedicated to making plans, gathering resources, and excecuting those plans that someone has to take care of the more basic administrative stuff. Also, you need someone around for sex in order to work of the tension of some underling who screwed up and you had to off them.
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