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  1. #11
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I don't know really whether I have achieved anything in this regard... I often get comments from others that suggest I have, but I'm wary of putting too much store in them because vanity (resistance thereof) is one of the areas in which I'm well aware I need development. But... well, here are some of the things I do...

    Firstly, I make sure I set aside time to meditate regularly. ENTP's can be such a whirlwind of activity, we get ourselves carried away and lose our centre I think, sometimes. An hour a week, perhaps, minimum, of just sitting in stillness and quiet to re-centre yourself can go a long way. It also provides the mental discipline to be able to STFU occasionally, something I think most of us could use lol

    Secondly, I have a Rule that I live by. It's quite comprehensive, and it encompasses the underlying principles I value most and gives guidelines on applying them to the various aspects of my life. It acts as a sort of voluntary choke-chain, but the hand on the other end of the chain is my own, if you get me? Helps prevent me from wandering off so far on a tangent that I forget the point of why I went out in the first place. But it's flexible and open to different interpretations, so as not to make me feel stifled or really choked. It's got to be realistic, that's the key. Minimum requirements - then try to exceed them, better than unrealistic requirements and then the accompanying dismay when they're fallen short of.

    Embrace your thirst for exploration and curiosity, but recognize when you're acting from this and when it's simple restlessness. Recognize the triggers for the latter, and circumvent them by giving plenty of nourishment to the former.

    Planned upheavals are cool, too. You know how Ne primaries can sometimes sabotage our own lives by just getting so damned BORED that we're apt to just walk out of things, burn our bridges and stuff like that? Well, to avoid that, if I can sense it coming then I'll try to find an area of my life that I can utterly change the face of, totally upheave, to give myself the refreshment and challenge I need without burning bridges. Anything from simply redecorating with a totally new theme to moving house - just round the corner, giving away all my books and starting the collection from scratch (and relishing the "wtf are you DOING??" comments from others lol) or just randomly dyeing all my t-shirts so I become Red Man

    Don't schedule yourself too tightly, or you'll feel suffocated, but just keep a calendar on the wall and pencil stuff in. Pencil in free days, too, and guard them jealously. Don't let "there's nothing on the calendar for that day" make you think it's a free for all to claim on your time. Set it aside for yourself to go and randomly explore somewhere or something (you know the old 'get in the car, flip a coin at each intersection' trick?), and consider that as much of a commitment as though it were one to someone else.

    I might have more... must think about it some. Tell me what you make of it so far tho

    edit - I might not be the best person to advise, in actual fact, since I think perhaps I might've embraced so much discipline in my life that this might be behind why I wind up doing 'little dangerous things' just to feel like I still have some risk and uncertainty in my life... driving without a seatbelt, impulsively deciding to refuse to say something diplomatically and telling it like it is with no punches pulled at the most inopportune of moments (ugh, all that Fe's been choking me!!)... cancelling something at the last minute, knowing it'll cause havoc, just to rebel against being needed/expected (all that Si!)... all kinds of stupid shit like that, which isn't very enlightened at all...
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #12
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Snip

    That was seriously beautiful bro.

  3. #13
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    what, even the part at the end about randomly being an asshole?
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  4. #14
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    Ah, I just realized - a vital part of what I feel helps me to keep making progress is that a part of my meditation actually involves reflecting on the time since I last meditated and sort of holding up my actions, words and choices against that Rule, so i can see whether I'm living by what I believe, or whether I'm self-sabotaging. Rather than beat myself up for the times I fall short, I try to just analyze where I went wrong and think of a strategy to avoid making similar mistakes. Also, not just holding up the past to the Rule, but also the possible future - think of anything that's bugging me at the moment, anything I'm pondering or considering, anything undecided, and again, hold it up, look at it and figure out where you're going.

    Essentially what I'm doing is getting a sense of 'where I've come from', to see the 'you are here' arrow, and in turn the 'projected route if no change of course occurs', allowing me to make adjustments.

    But it's also essential to allow yourself at least 20 minutes to literally just sit and let whatever comes, come into your mind and go where it will, silently. It helps me to actually create some sort of ritual for this process so that it keeps me focused and stuff, but I vary the ritual, again, because anything that becomes too 'same' begins to lose meaning and appeal for me. Being high church trained it tends to take a somewhat liturgical format for me, involving sensory focusing tools like incense, candles etc, but just do whatever works for you. But this process tends to allow any unacknowledged thoughts and feelings to 'wash up' on the beach, and you can comb through them and be sorta forewarned and forearmed.

    Really, becoming a better person does increase your life opportunities just as much as learning actual practical or academic stuff, or at least I've found this to be the case. When they say 'it's not what you know, but whom you know', it's no empty cliche... but then, whom you know makes no difference if the people you know don't like you very much cos you're an ass. When you become a better person, you'll find that other people aren't actually as bad as you might've thought they were... (we often project our flaws onto others and blame them for the negative feelings that their reactions to our flaws bring out in us, so as you work on those flaws you'll find them being 'reflected' back to you less often!) and that they're much more willing to help you out and scratch your back. This shouldn't be a motivation for self-improvement, but it sure is a nice perk
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  5. #15
    Senior Member 563 740's Avatar
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    Anybody keep a journal?
    Extremes: Need To Pursue

    I like my cars fast, my music loud, and my women even faster and louder!

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by 563 740 View Post
    Anybody keep a journal?
    Yup. Kept 'em since 1988. They're helpful, but get increasingly embarrassing the longer you keep past ones for...
    *OMG did I REALLY think THAT???*

    Also, gotta watch out they don't turn into DWELLING on shit...
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #17
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    I hate to be all ADD, but I need bullet points.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #18
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 563 740 View Post
    Anybody keep a journal?
    Inconsistently. It's actually a Google spreadsheet with columns like mood, weight, amount of sleep, description of day, etc. I try to be brief. I guess it's more like a personal inventory of my day so I can try to suss out some ideas about how to improve mood and health.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #19
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    lol, I tried the journal thing before, but just like any other genuine interest... it turned out to be just the flavor of the week.

  10. #20
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    Journaling is difficult because it requires you to essentially step out of the stream of life. This is the main challenge with being a writer, I think. If you're writing, you're not really living. You've created some distance from which you organize thoughts and observe your own perceptions. If you're observing your own perceptions, how involved are you in perceiving?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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