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Thread: Ethical dilemma

  1. #41
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I just knew what had to be done, and I didn't even regret doing it, I was a machine -- cool, collected and entirely adamant.

    So just be careful; if you do "trigger" your friend, something will happen and it's out of your control.
    That's a good example, but the depth really depends on the person. Breaking off a friendship is the tip of the iceberg of what can happen when that frame of mind happens.

    I only bring this up because I know that in my own past, any concept of someone manipulating and trapping me can cause very destructive situations. The situation his friend is in could make him less stable, and given the possible ramifications of law/etc... yah. Worth taking note of

  2. #42
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I dunno Edahn, I think that's maybe all a bit too subtle for him...

    Ha, I was just thinking, the only thing C's told us about her life in the USA is that she was apparently, an accountant. An immediate rat was smelled when we sat down to play Scrabble and she not only objected to me keeping scores and continuously checked up on me to make sure I wasn't cheating her out of points, but she then insisted on taking over the score-keeping herself.... and had to get a calculator out of her bag. A calculator. For simple addition of double figure numbers. An accountant. Right.
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  3. #43
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    A calculator. For simple addition of double figure numbers. An accountant. Right.
    My dad is an accountant and does that - and my wife is in training to do one, and does that. FWIW

  4. #44
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    It's dangerous to assume things like this.
    Well, he is ISTP and I'm ISTJ and if we are even a little the same it would be safe to say that he is hanging in there for the sake of doing the 'right thing' and not wanting to dissapoint anyone involved. I have held on to bad frienships just because it's "not nice" to diss someone or turn your back on them. BUT THEY WERE NO-GOOD PEOPLE. And then you really do need someone to remind you that you don't have to carry everyone and their burdens.
    It's sounds a bit lame, I know, but that's how it goes.
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  5. #45
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    it would be safe to say that he is hanging in there for the sake of doing the 'right thing' and not wanting to dissapoint anyone involved.
    It would be safe to say that if you knew him and he had a history of such behavior, but you can't assert such things if you don't know the person.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Well, he is ISTP and I'm ISTJ and if we are even a little the same it would be safe to say that he is hanging in there for the sake of doing the 'right thing' and not wanting to dissapoint anyone involved.
    That's not the typical ISTP mindset. In this regard, ISTJ and ISTP have nothing in common.

  7. #47
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    It would be safe to say that if you knew him and he had a history of such behavior, but you can't assert such things if you don't know the person.
    Okayyyy, I gave my two cents, like everyone else.
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  8. #48
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Okayyyy, I gave my two cents, like everyone else.
    FWIW, I agree with you I have that tendency too, and I'm pretty strongly P. I think it's just the concept that we can be responsible too that people scoff at. It really just depends on the ISTP, but what you say certainly reflects my own past.

    But you probably still don't want to depend on me to be there on time I have my limits on responsibility!

  9. #49
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Sorry Bella, didn't mean to make you feel shouted down.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Well, he is ISTP and I'm ISTJ and if we are even a little the same it would be safe to say that he is hanging in there for the sake of doing the 'right thing' and not wanting to dissapoint anyone involved.
    Yeah, regardless of type usually there is some of that in everyone.

    Although I think ISTPs (Ti) tend to be less like that and ISTJs (Si) are more like that. The former likes to do what "makes general sense" while the latter is more likely to base their sense of what should be done based on past experience and expectation.

    I have held on to bad frienships just because it's "not nice" to diss someone or turn your back on them. BUT THEY WERE NO-GOOD PEOPLE. And then you really do need someone to remind you that you don't have to carry everyone and their burdens.
    I totally agree, and it does not help that even when I've made a "rational decision" to cut someone loose, emotionally I know I sometimes STILL feel guilty and like I let myself or others down because I ended things.
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