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Thread: Ethical dilemma

  1. #11
    Senior Member Nighthawk's Avatar
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    I'm also of the opinion that it is better to stay out of it and not turn her in to immigration. I concur with what others have said, that it is W's problem to solve and that he might resent you stepping in to take control of matters. You can still offer him support and watch his back in other ways ... perhaps even by simply being there when he wants to talk.

    I've seen more than one situation like W's ... where a new partner (both male and female) have moved in with a person and then take advantage of them for all their support. It has never been an easy situation to resolve, but in all cases the supporter eventually had to get fed up and draw the line him/herself.

    I know it is also tough for you to watch a good friend being dragged down and abused. Best of luck ... as you may have to tough it out just as he is.

  2. #12
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    If there's no record of her in the country, couldn't you just kill her?

    It does sound like she has run away from something, I say investigate her past life and maybe something will be there to persuade your friend to kick her out.
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  3. #13
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Yes... can't you find out what this girl's deal is? Can you run a background check on her from the UK?

  4. #14
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mort Belfry View Post
    It does sound like she has run away from something, I say investigate her past life and maybe something will be there to persuade your friend to kick her out.
    How does he do that? Google her?

  5. #15
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    He is trapped, however. But the effort is best spent guiding him to realise it himself, and that he owes it to himself to break free.
    Yeah, this is my natural, instinctive stance. Feels good to know that I'm allowed to follow it

    No worries then. I'll just have to tell him straight. Maybe if I tell him I've felt TEMPTED to inform (but haven't and won't), it might press on him how strongly I feel about the situation, that she's not good for him, which might make him think more seriously about it himself?
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  6. #16
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    How does he do that? Google her?
    How much are private investigators in the States?
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

  7. #17
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Yes... can't you find out what this girl's deal is? Can you run a background check on her from the UK?
    Like I say, she won't tell anyone anything about herself. I don't even know her surname, or how old she is. Just her first name and the town in California she lived in. That's part of what makes her so suspicious to everyone - that she won't reveal ANYTHING about herself. If you press her, she gets VERY stroppy.

    She tries to pass it all off as a 'girl thing', but TBH she doesn't seem anywhere near the age when women start getting touchy about their age, and I really don't know what possible 'girl' reason she could have for not wanting to tell her surname!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  8. #18
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Yeah, this is my natural, instinctive stance. Feels good to know that I'm allowed to follow it

    No worries then. I'll just have to tell him straight. Maybe if I tell him I've felt TEMPTED to inform (but haven't and won't), it might press on him how strongly I feel about the situation, that she's not good for him, which might make him think more seriously about it himself?
    Good luck with that.


    Maybe it's a T thing.

  9. #19
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Like I say, she won't tell anyone anything about herself. I don't even know her surname, or how old she is. Just her first name and the town in California she lived in. That's part of what makes her so suspicious to everyone - that she won't reveal ANYTHING about herself. If you press her, she gets VERY stroppy.

    She tries to pass it all off as a 'girl thing', but TBH she doesn't seem anywhere near the age when women start getting touchy about their age, and I really don't know what possible 'girl' reason she could have for not wanting to tell her surname!!
    Oh that's right...

    Good Lord, what was he thinking?

    Hmm... What is your friend's stance on the situation at the moment? (I've read all of your posts in this thread, but I don't think I've gotten the gist of his position on the issue.)

  10. #20
    Rats off to ya! Mort Belfry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Like I say, she won't tell anyone anything about herself. I don't even know her surname, or how old she is. Just her first name and the town in California she lived in. That's part of what makes her so suspicious to everyone - that she won't reveal ANYTHING about herself. If you press her, she gets VERY stroppy.
    Do you know where she keeps her passport? Would W know?
    Why do we always come here?

    I guess we'll never know.

    It's like a kind of torture,
    To have to watch this show.

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