[INTJ] INTJ Females - Please present yourselves for wooing.

[silversun]

So I was reading this topic and I was surprised that there was actually SOME substance to it.

A lot of descriptions I thought really sounded like me, like the person eating lunch by herself (I eat alone everyday =P)
But also the fact that I really am a sensitive and caring person. I guess on the outside I don't come across this way. My roommate never says anything personal to me... I guess a lot of people feel like I won't care. That's wrong though, because I will listen and try to help solve your problem/give advice. When I said to my roommate "My cat is having surgery" she just goes "Oh" (she's an INFJ). If she said that to me I would have helped talk her through it.
I've come to realize that most personality types, especially F's since there are SO many of them here in my all women's school, just don't get me. Don't know when I'm sarcastic, get angry because I'm not always politically correct, etc.
Anyways that's really off topic.
If you're interested in an INTJ girl just tell her. I know I really prefer straight-forwardness. The best thing to do is become her friend first. Show that you (most importantly) understand her sense of humor, and I think then she will feel more comfortable around you and see a deeper meaning to the relationship. To clarify, don't try to befriend her and secretly like her, we can totally see through that (or at least that you're not being totally genuine) and for me it would be enraging. Just freaking tell us what your intentions are. Don't be scared.

Any questions, just ask.

 

[Synarch]

Silversun, I think you touch on any interesting point here. Thank you for sharing. That is: despite different "types" we all want the same thing and we are really not all that different from one another. It also makes me think about how much we get from being around people who are different from ourselves. And, this forum shows the value in open and respectful communication about subjects of particular personal importance.

 

[Maabus1999]

As an ENTP, I've decided that I want to meet and romance an INTJ female. Where do you all hang out? How can I find you? Just point me in the right direction.

If I put on a wig can I get a free dinner at least?

Anyways:

Online or a technical college is your best bet.

Research areas (like the Research Triangle in Raleigh, NC) may have higher then normal INTJ Female %. Just look for ones that seem cold but watch out for the ISTJ!

 

[dividend]

I'm an INTJ female, and before I started lurking around here, I didn't realize that my type had fan-boys.
Here's what I can contribute to the discussion about how to "woo" an INTJ woman, generalizing from analyzing my own experience, (I suppose, in true INTJ fashion).
We don't like to be "wooed", we like to be challanged. So don't say something nice, say something intriguing or sarcastic, with supreme confidence. Notice my Pi tattoo; say something intelligent about it. Tell me a math joke and be rewarded with an even nerdier response. Save the genuine expressions of sweetness for later, once you really know me and it means something. Don't bring me flowers; bring me something functional that you know I need but have been overanalyzing the buying of. Demonstrate that you're passionate about something besides your profession. Teach me something. Let me teach you something that I'm passionate about. Get my sense of humor. Beat me at philosophical argument, but be able to lose one too. Stimulate my mind first. Do it well enough and we'll end up in bed together (use your brain there, too FTW).
Where do you find us? Engineering buildings on college campuses, probably the science fiction section of an independent video or book store, a table outside a coffee shop or cafe.

 

[Firelie]

Dividend wins. Oh, and it's her first post, too. Double-win.

 

[Synarch]

All types are fun and attractive for different reasons. INTJ's are fun because they're so frustrating and obtuse about practical social things.

 

[Uytuun]

In my past experiences, the guys that I fell for were the ones that I couldn't have. The less interested they were, the more I wanted them. I think those guys were 'safe' because I knew they wouldn't ever come around so I could be in love with them from a distance and not risk the fallout of dream vs reality.

So, so guilty of this.

 

[Poser]

In my past experiences, the guys that I fell for were the ones that I couldn't have. The less interested they were, the more I wanted them. I think those guys were 'safe' because I knew they wouldn't ever come around so I could be in love with them from a distance and not risk the fallout of dream vs reality.

So, so guilty of this.

Is this common for INTJ or just anyone?

 

[Synarch]

Common for people with interpersonal insecurities.

 

[SillySapienne]

All types are fun and attractive for different reasons. INTJ's are fun because they're so frustrating and obtuse about practical social things.

Their social ineptitude, especially when juxtaposed to their practical competence is quite endearing, if I do say so myself.

 

[Firelie]

So, so guilty of this.

Me too.

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

All types are fun and attractive for different reasons. INTJ's are fun because they're so frustrating and obtuse about practical social things.

It might be amusing to those who know that we're an INTJ and credit it to our inherint socially-inept retardedness, but for people who haven't ever even heard of MBTI its not so cute.

I had a friend blow up at me just today because she got a virus on her computer earlier this week and I wasn't there for 'moral support' when everyone else was cracking jokes about it.

I was biting my tongue REALLY HARD trying not to say 'So what did you want... a hug??!'

To me she was being ridiculous, but she's an ISFJ and overreacts to just about EVERYTHING that people say in my opinion.

I'm sure she isn't too hung up on how adorable my lack of understanding is.

Of course, maybe this isn't even a social issue, maybe this is a T vs F issue.

 

[silversun]

Is this common for INTJ or just anyone?

That's not me at all >_<
I choose who I have a crush on. It's pointless to like someone who you have no chance with. The only guys I was attracted to were the ones I felt a mind connection to. I don't like the experience of secretly liking someone and feeling emotionally vulnerable. At those times the guy could probably just use me or something.

I don't know I think the other INTJ response (sorry I forget your name!) was probably too typical of INTJ stereotypes... I don't mind getting flowers or treated nicely. Come on, every girl likes being treated like a queen. =P Of course that can't be the only thing in a relationship though. I don't know, maybe I'm more S or F than I think. I'm not as intense in the mind games way as what the INTJ is stereotyped as.

Anyways I'm attracted to intelligent yet not extremely nerdy guys. The cool kind of nerd, you know. I agree that I like the ENTP personality type. I like their outgoingness and how they can just "get" you better than the other types. I'd really like a guy that could get me involved in more things, always have interesting ideas and things to talk about, someone to challenge, someone to understand my sarcasm and play along with it, etc. That would be an awesome relationship and never get boring.

 

[BlackOp]

That's not me at all >_<
The only guys I was attracted to were the ones I felt a mind connection to.

Would playing chess in the nude be considered "sex" between two intj's? Sounds hot! "Check mate.....man do I need a smoke".

 

[silversun]

Would playing chess in the nude be considered "sex" between two intj's? Sounds hot! "Check mate.....man do I need a smoke".

You're creating very vivid and disturbing images in my head. I'm now imagining a naked fat guy playing chess with me, naked. *shiver* In theory it sounds pretty sweet though.

 

[Synarch]

How about a nude chess game in which for each "taken" piece the loser must perform one of a series of prescribed erotic acts, which increase in intensity as the pieces increase in rank? The loss of a pawn might require some basic sexual performance or minor humiliation while the loss of the king or queen might culminate in a more drastic scenario. It should be set up in such a way where you would be torn between winning and losing.

 

[Harlow_Jem]

As a shallow INTJ who demands that her significant other be as beautiful as he is interesting, I would suggest you post a picture to be pointed in the right direction.

 

[Synarch]

As a shallow INTJ who demands that her significant other be as beautiful as he is interesting, I would suggest you post a picture to be pointed in the right direction.

Clever girl. You're always welcome to beseech me via PM.

 

[Firelie]

Clever girl. You're always welcome to beseech me via PM.

He doesn't want his picture to be immortalized on the internet.

 

[dividend]

All types are fun and attractive for different reasons. INTJ's are fun because they're so frustrating and obtuse about practical social things.

Practical social things? Does not compute.


My INTP boyfriend is like alot like that. People watching us interact sometimes react to the things that come out of his mouth like, "really? You just said that to her?" But he's got this adorable cluelessness such that I can't even finish the withering look I intend to give him without laughing.

My impression (from observing my own behavior, and from reading INTJ analysis) is that INTJ social cluelessness is alot of times more frustrating than cute, because it's more of an impatience with social niceties. So I'm apt to flirt very directly and aggressively, or ungracefully exit a conversation that I can tell isn't going anywhere, or make incorrect assumptions about appropriateness. I think it's a sort of egocentric generalizing of my own personal social paradigms.