I've come to the realization that I find almost everything I am familiar with "tedious." Perhaps you could call it feeling like I'm in a rut.
It is a strange feeling in that it is also too comfortable for me to want to change it.
Rationally speaking, it seems like I would be giving up what many people would love to have.
I tell myself, I am being ungrateful, and that I should look on the bright-side of things.
I tell myself, that it doesn't matter what I change. If I don't get my mind-right, it won't matter what I do to change the situation.
But I've tred for well over two years to get my "mind right," but the situation still seems soul-sucking. If anything, my mind has proven to the rest of me that it was right, the situation sucks.
I'm the proverbial frog being slowly boiled alive, as the temperature (tedium) increases.
I feel like I am slowly being bored to death.
It's not just my job (though I believe that is a big part of it). I don't want to do anything that is of consequence.
My trash piles-up till my room-mate finally takes it out. I have once again, not done laundry in over a month. I don't remember the last time I cleaned house. I don't exercise. I can barely make it into work, and getting myself to do even the simplest thing is an exercise in mental manipulation.
I just want to sleep (and sleep a lot), day-dream a bit, watch TV, and surf the web. It's not that I see a point in doing these particular activities, but I find I naturally do these things without exerting conscious effort. I don't see the point of doing any activity, really.
I don't really even want to eat, but somehow I have managed to get at least one meal a day (usually two).
I loose my train of thought easily.
Anyone have tips for dealing with tedium?--extremely long-term tedium?
It doesn't feel like the deep depression I had earlier, in that I am not sad--I actually don't feel much of anything, strongly.