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Thread: What ought we do with negative feelings?

  1. #21
    にゃん Array runvardh's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    6w7 sx/so


    busy, excercise... might want to check for a source incase there is a way to solve it.
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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    busy, excercise... might want to check for a source incase there is a way to solve it.
    Aha. Even better.

  3. #23
    Emperor/Dictator Array kyuuei's Avatar
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    Aug 2008


    I suppose it depends for me.. but normally I vent it out to anyone I talk to that day, and either exercise it off or take a bath and nap or hang out with friends to ignore it till it goes away. This works for most daily offenses.
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  4. #24
    Senior Member Array Simplexity's Avatar
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    Jul 2008


    I'd say mixing 4 and 1 is the best bet for me. I used to fully try and rationalize but that builds up and ends in little temper tantrums later(yes I have experience). I think it takes practice but once you learn to switch between feeling them out and "thinking" about how irrational the feelings are I think it works well. It's a hard thing to pin down though because sometimes the ratio is heavily favored to one, but I don't think its ever good to just try an be completely apathetic and not try to feel it on some level.

    I think its a mixture of realizing how disproportional they are and creating diversions that play off of some of your feelings. You have to learn how to manipulate the feelings in a positive route(might include riding it out for a while) and then building steam with the diversions till you're at an acceptable state. I think you have to have faith though in some "rational" reason though, which is admittedly tough to do while not running away from the feelings.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Array GinKuusouka's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    2w3 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Kidding aside... what you are addressing sounds serious.

    In my experience, feeling worthless and hopeless, out of proportion to the event that triggered it, is usually caused by the re-opening or touching of an unhealed wound from the past. Sometimes I know what the past wound is, and sometimes I don't.

    Ignoring the feelings will just make the same thing happen again at another time.
    It is important to deal with the pain by facing it.

    It depends on the person I guess but what has successfully worked for me several times is using the steps of the grieving process to face the pain. I write down all my feelings and cry or get angry if I need to. I end up forgiving the person/s who caused the original wound, and I am ready to accept my life and re-invest in it again.

    As I said this method has worked for me several times,
    on even the most painful wounds of my life.
    I agree with you. Everyone has these feelings at some point in time in their lives or another. But each individual reacts to them differently and they are felt at different depths at various points in their lives. It's based on the individual and the circumstances they're facing. However, from my experience, it's not something good to ignore these feelings. If we ignore the shadow self, it only grows more and more until we're bursting with it. I found that when I acknowledged how I felt- even though that took me some time- and expressed in one way or another why I felt that way, and grieved, it began the releasing process so I could grow and learn. But, because we are individuals, the process is going to be different for every one of us.
    I have no idea who I am. All I can say is let's rock hard.

  6. #26
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    Oct 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Let us say one begins to feel worthless and hopeless, and knows these feelings are greatly out of proprtion to the events that triggered them.

    What is the best course of action:
    1) Distract oneself with diversions?
    2) Exercise, rely on endorphins and better sustained health to make the ill-feelings disappear?
    3) Keep a "stiff upper lip" and keep doing what needs to be done?
    4) Keep telling yourself that the feelngs are not proportional to the situation and hope they go away?
    5) Embrace fully the feelings and do what the associated impulse are with a belief that they will be "out of your system?"
    6) Seek professional help?
    7) Something else?
    I'll tell you what I do. All the above and everything else I can think of. Feelings are tricky for us. For me they are usually just another problem to be solved, especially in this situation. (try to tell me i don't sound like an NTP). But I just went through EXACTLY this situation about a week or so ago, so here's what I did. I called EVERYONE I could think of for help/advice/input. I did a meditation and deep breathing exercise, then took a hot shower to relax myself, focus my mind on the problem, and distract my mind from the feelings of hopelessness/helplessness. Then I took a little nap. When I woke in the morning, EVERYTHING looked better. AND I managed to talk my parents out of kicking me out of their home outright, and bought myself enough time to move out on my own terms. Everything worked out.

    What you need to remember is that, as an INTP / ENTP, (which is what I am and hopefully you are) you are essentially a brilliant genius with a brain the size of a relatively large asteroid or meteorite. If you set your mind to solving a problem and just try to think around it in any and every way possible, look at it from every angle, get all the information, and then make a move, there is NOTHING you cannot accomplish. I know this, this is how I live my life. You just start by assuming you're a genius and then work from there.

  7. #27
    Member Array Airius's Avatar
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    Oct 2008


    Address your feelings and find the source of what's troubling you.

    In this case, if it was the bad review you got -- maybe it will help you to figure out why it was that way. Try to be optimistic about it and take it as an opportunity to improve or settle a misunderstanding.

    And don't worry, it's okay to mope around a bit before you do that.
    Just remember to pick your head back up.

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